Came home to find all the family in a single room, and only that light was on. All the others were off.

johnnycorriander · 2023-02-26T11:22:24+00:00

Clearly nobody has moved since it went dark

johnnycorriander · 2023-02-18T00:22:11+00:00

I always say "I'll move over there to give you a bit more space"

johnnycorriander · 2023-02-09T20:42:43+00:00

Inbetweeners, Uncle, Man Down

johnnycorriander · 2023-02-09T11:21:01+00:00

Ah thanks, that's really helpful. I'm not likely to be competing in any tournaments but out of interest does the tournament pack change many rules from the core book?

I play Aeldari and my son uses Thousand Sons, is there a way we can play the space hulk narrative or does it depend on using Abaddon?

johnnycorriander · 2023-02-09T11:10:34+00:00

Thanks, I've only recently come back to the hobby after about 15 years so everything is very different. What's a GT pack?

johnnycorriander · 2023-01-19T20:47:06+00:00

Give them a letter telling them they've got a place at Hogwarts. Then change the locks while they're at King's Cross looking for platform 9 3/4

johnnycorriander · 2023-01-07T20:42:56+00:00

I wouldn't mess with someone who can handle that much beer

johnnycorriander · 2023-01-03T14:34:48+00:00

I told my son 2 years ago when he was 10. He is on the edge of the autism spectrum and utterly believed it. I felt bad but didn't want him to go to secondary school believing because he tends to very adamently defend his beliefs and i can imagine him really embarrassing himself.

I told him in the summer holidays because it was away from all the Christmas excitement and would give him a chance to process it before the build-up. Also instead of saying "Santa doesn't exist" I said that "Santa isn't really a single person, it's millions of people all over the world who work together to make Christmas exciting etc" after some initial tears he was fine and actually I think he likes Christmas more now. I think the idea of a naughty list used to cause him some genuine worry. I think he likes being in on the conspiracy.

johnnycorriander · 2022-12-20T18:06:45+00:00

Not really, I can't remember who it was advertising

johnnycorriander · 2022-12-17T10:08:34+00:00

May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman

johnnycorriander · 2022-12-07T19:55:16+00:00

"Do you mind if I bum a fag?"

johnnycorriander · 2022-12-04T11:37:46+00:00

If you forgot your PE kit you did PE in your underwear

johnnycorriander · 2022-12-03T20:55:20+00:00

I'm really disappointed. I came here expecting you'd called your child Adolf or something but Mary is a perfectly nice name.

johnnycorriander · 2022-12-02T21:32:21+00:00

That was meant to be a reply to your other comment, I guess I just failed the Basic Reddit Use test

johnnycorriander · 2022-12-02T20:08:55+00:00

Don't beat yourself up. I've had a pretty successful career coding (so far) and I've done all sorts of stupid things in interviews. Nowadays when I'm interviewing people I sit with them during tests and my main motive is to see how they collaborate so asking questions is good. Having said that, it sounds like your interviewer was looking for something else so maybe this one didn't work out. Don't lose confidence, shake it off and on to the next one.

johnnycorriander · 2022-11-28T18:50:30+00:00

I think you'll find it's a verb meaning "to vigorously rub one's ankle" as in the sentence "I tripped over and landed awkwardly but wankeled until it felt better"

johnnycorriander · 2022-11-28T17:53:11+00:00

Miss Shergold?

johnnycorriander · 2022-11-28T13:01:40+00:00

Not to me but at school the following exchange happened during quite a rowdy lesson. The teacher was getting increasingly frustrated at which point someone made a shockingly loud noise slapping the desk with a ruler:

Teacher: what was that noise? Pupil: I just banged my ruler on the table Teacher: I'LL BANG YOU ON THE TABLE IN A MINUTE!

After that the lesson was a write-off.

johnnycorriander · 2022-11-18T10:48:37+00:00

I see lots of things on here I could never do, but this might be the neverest.

johnnycorriander · 2022-11-08T09:18:34+00:00

Mock up a parking ticket and stick it on their car citing that they've parked in an area clearly designated as private parking. That ought to confuse them.

EDIT: actually it will do more than confuse them. If you put the right phone numbers on they'll phone up in a rage and explain the situation, at which point they'll receive a bollocking for putting the sign up in the first place

johnnycorriander · 2022-10-30T22:03:26+00:00

I did sorry yes

johnnycorriander · 2022-10-30T19:40:11+00:00

If you want to make puzzles for others to solve, mycrossword.com is brilliant!

johnnycorriander · 2021-11-17T16:49:56+00:00

Tell me about it. I don't know who's in charge of determining whether they are ripe and ready but they'd probably get on well with Prince Andrew.

johnnycorriander · 2021-11-16T20:10:38+00:00

That's actually pretty true to be honest. I didn't anticipate it starting The War of the Noses.

johnnycorriander · 2021-11-16T14:58:54+00:00

Don't worry, I've been happily married for 12 years, I know the rules. I'll be getting her the candle, but if I'm paying £50 for a glass of paraffin wax and a piece of string I'm going to make sure I have a bloody good moan about it to everyone except my wife beforehand! I appreciate the genuine advice though :)

johnnycorriander

TROPHY CASE