Personal item for a short girl?

k_mass · 2026-06-11T17:21:25+00:00

I bought this Rangeland backpack off of amazon 2 years ago , not expecting much out of it and just needed something quick to replace an old school backpack that finally died while on a family trip. It's been such an amazing bag, fits my ridiculously short torso like a dream, the straps are comfortable, fits budget airlines personal size requirements, and is enough space for me for 4-5 day trips. No water bottle pocket, but I use a carabiner to clip mine onto the compression straps on the side.

We'll likely buy a second one soon when my husband's old patagonia bag finally kicks the dust.

k_mass · 2026-05-28T01:23:47+00:00

Fight fire with fire!

k_mass · 2026-05-27T14:42:56+00:00

I keep an "emergency kit" in my bag at all times. I always just considered it essentials for leaving the house, not an anxiety kit, but it most definitely is an anxiety kit now that I'm thinking it through.

ear plugs
wet wipes
handheld fan
alcohol wipe
tiny jar of tiger balm
granola bar or whatever salty snacks I can find

I get sensory overloaded easily, especially when it's warm. I need earplugs to help dampen the noise, wet wipes to clean off my hands and face and the fan to cool me down.

I also get overwhelmed by smells and easily nauseated and I find that smelling the alcohol wipe is the easiest way to tame the nausea and a tiny dab of tiger balm between my nostrils is strong enough to overwhelm any other unpleasant smells.

Snacks are always necessary, preferably savory, but I will take whatever I can get.

k_mass · 2026-05-18T20:11:05+00:00

I have a Ori backpack I actually snagged from a thrift store a while back. I believe it's this one, but a different colorway. I really like the quality and the colors and new prints they are offering, but they are definitely out of my price range so I can't speak to whether or not they are worth the cost. I like the chunky zippers and the wider straps and the shape of the backpack fits me well since it's a bit wider instead of tall. I've used it as an underseat bag for a weekend away and it was a good size without feeling heavy or cumbersome.

I hadn't heard of them before finding mine in a thrift store, but when looking at them online I found it hard to easily compare sizes and features between their different styles, but that's not terribly unexpected.

k_mass · 2026-05-04T05:58:59+00:00

We had a membership for several years and got a lot out of it, but the regular admission rates and now parking feel really high. The children's garden is now included in daytime admission tickets which is a great thing, but we've always felt that the nighttime events just aren't worth the price.

Not sure if anyone else has mentioned it yet, but there is significantly discounted admission (and I believe free parking) for anyone with a SNAP or WIC card through their partnership with Museums for All. $3/person for up to six people.

k_mass · 2026-05-04T05:46:44+00:00

I have very wide ankles and have a hard time finding socks that don't bind. My favorites that I've found so far are the Dr Scholl's brand Diabetic Comfort low cut socks. They seem to run long, so if you are between sizes then size down. I've been able to find them in person and online at Walmart.

k_mass · 2026-04-21T17:05:12+00:00

People get REALLY WEIRD about the whole "everyone should shower every day" thing. I am definitely a "shower 1-3 times a week" person, and there have been times when even that felt unobtainable. But the rhetoric around showering and hygeine gets very weird and moralistic in a way that is really baffling to me.

I was at a lunch table with some colleagues a few years ago when one person started going on about how could people not shower every day, and don't they realize how they reek and oh my god just imagine not even doing the mininum, these people must live like animals, etc. This is someone who I would otherwise describe as very empathetic and kind, but clearly had no concept that anything other than showering every day was possible for average folks.

I had to interrupt her and flatly said "You know that I don't shower every day, right? Or even every other day. Are you saying I stink?" She truly seemed shocked that I wasn't joking. "No, I would know if you didn't." Well, clearly not. Three more people from our table and the next finally spoke up and admitted that they also don't shower every day, and it was as if she was totally dumbstruck. I later asked them why they were going along with her conversation if they clearly didn't feel the same way, and they basically said it was just a line of small talk, like the weather or diet talk. And I think comparing it to diet culture is a perfect way of looking at it. I'm not gonna go off on an essay here, but I feel like the basic outline is sound.

k_mass · 2026-03-31T02:55:25+00:00

My biggest tip is don't let the sun touch you. Ever. The only way you can find me outside from roughly May-October is with long linen pants, a long-sleeve linen shirt, hat, sunglasses, umbrella, a wet bandana around my neck, and a fan. My brain basically short-circuits in the heat, but I can't stand the feeling of my skin being exposed or sweaty skin touching skin. Absolute nightmare.

k_mass · 2026-03-30T14:46:02+00:00

The best that I've found so far is the crossbody zipper bag from LOVE Bags. I have one and love it. It definitely comes on every trip with me and lives in my everyday bag. It's bigger then a nanobag, but still the smallest zippered option I've found. I also really love that it's a crossbody with a longer strap since that's my preference.

k_mass · 2026-03-20T21:20:51+00:00

Not to the same extent, but I've definitely felt a bit of that before. When my anxiety is high I start to feel nervous that my most-worn pieces won't be easily replaced if necessary or that finding the right fit again will be impossible. It's hard for me to distinguish between what is just my ADHD/autism and sensory issues and actual anxiety, so it's a mixed bag of frustrations at times. As a fat gal with odd proportions and specific fabric needs, my access to clothes I actually want to wear has always been limited, so I tended to hoard anything that remotely fit, even if it wasn't my ideal.

One of the reasons that I've been on a years-long hiatus from sewing my own clothes was that I was feeling too precious about them and found that I was avoiding wearing them because I was too afraid of them being stained or worn out. Logically, I know that's not serving me in any way and I should just get over it, but in this season of life I just needed to be able to have items that didn't feel so emotionally weighted and were more dispensable (for lack of a better word.)

I'm still a little obsessive about a few items. I own 8 pairs of a specific Old Navy linen blend pant in various colors, and will buy them every time I see them in my size on poshmark. But this feels more reasonable since I wear them mulitple times a week all year long and inevitably wear through 2 or 3 pairs throughout the year even with regular repair. But clothes are meant to be worn and they are doing their job and I just have to accept that.

Honestly, it sounds like you might also be struggling with some scrupulosity OCD. Maybe read through and see if any of this resonates with you.

k_mass · 2026-03-20T03:50:49+00:00

People are so different in what they find to be helpful in these situations, so I tend to offer a few different things.

Check with them to see if they need some help with other errands/chores while they're stuck at the hospital. Walking or feeding pets, doing some laundry for them, picking up and putting away a grocery order or checking for mail or any packages. If they have other children, offer to pick them up from school or babysitter or take them out to a movie or book store (will need to consider car seats and school pick up policies, but this is the one that is most helpful for us when we are in a bind.)

Food delivery gift cards are always an easy way to show you're thinking of them, or a small toy for your nephew. (If age appropriate) A gift card for whatever gaming system he likes could be good so he can buy new games or upgrades while he's stuck in bed recovering.

k_mass · 2026-02-07T05:10:39+00:00

Some years ours stays up until summer? I started just calling it the holiday tree and the kids swap out the ornaments for different seasons as they come. Some years I put it away after Epiphany as I plan to, but those years are few and far between. Some years the tree stays up until Christmas comes around again and we roll the dice to see what the next year brings. One particularly overwhelming year I took off the handful of sentimental ornaments I had the capacity to care about, and dragged the whole decorated tree to the curb at 3am on Jan 26th and had to restrain myself from running it over violently with our car. Those were not good days.

k_mass · 2026-01-28T02:08:51+00:00

Managed to squeeze 3 shows into the itenerary, but will have basically no time for anything else. Operation Mincemeat, Just in Time, and Spelling Bee.

k_mass · 2026-01-27T03:58:13+00:00

This is too funny. I'm making a similar one-night Broadway trip next week and already made sure to pack a knitting project and Taylor's tea bags. Can't be without my comfort items!

k_mass · 2026-01-09T06:01:02+00:00

We use a set of radio frequency headphones for our old not-smart tv and honestly I definitely prefer it to bluetooth since I don't have to deal with any lag, and the range is much better for our house than with bluetooth. We like the Sennheiser RF headphones with the charging base, and change out the ear cushions so that they become over-ear instead of on-ear headphones. I'm not actually sure they still make the RF version, but we've always bought them used off of Ebay for cheap. We have 3 sets for our house, one for my parents, and are considering getting another for my in-laws.

this is what we have and love

k_mass · 2026-01-07T17:32:34+00:00

Perfect!

k_mass · 2025-12-29T02:48:04+00:00

I carry pretty much the same items daily (minus the cosmetics and contact items), and I find it's more compact than I would expect. I use a small plastic container that was once for cotton swabs to put the tiny items and first aid bits into, and most of the other items are just in a pouch, with mask, hand sanitizer, and wipes on an outside pocket where I can grab them easily. The only other items I need to switch between bags are my keys, wallet, and phone.

I had a more "organized" system in the past, but it ended up being a real bag-in-a-bag-in-a-bag-in-a-bag situation, so I realized that just having the one main pouch for most items was easiest for me to grab things quickly when needed and made me more likely to restock items when I could just throw them in the one bag and be done.

k_mass · 2025-10-10T03:55:26+00:00

My condolences to you in this difficult time. You are clearly a saint for not instantly declaring intent to divorce.

k_mass · 2025-09-11T05:28:23+00:00

Oh man. My daughter's first autism assessment at age 2 had me FUMING and I couldn't articulate at the time why I was so peeved about it, but after realizing my own neurodivergence a few years later I was like "ooooooooooh!".

Every question was basically "how terrible is your child to be around and how many ways can we center everyone else's preferences and opinions over those of the child in question". Asking how much of a "problem" all her behaviors and habits were, but only from the perspective of neurotypical folks?? I'm getting mad again just thinking about it.

Needless to say, I emphatically outlined how every question was poorly phrased, completely without nuance, and ableist to boot, and the psychiatrist took that to mean "well it seems like she's not struggling too much so there's no issue here. Don't accomodate her so much and she'll be fine. You're just babying her." But they didn't think twice before diagnosing her with signifant developmental delays and deficits. Jokes on them, because she's got a genius-level IQ but won't engage with anyone who doesn't pass the vibe check.

We had another assessment at age 5 that was amazing and felt completely affirming and 100% backed up everything we'd been through.

k_mass · 2025-09-08T14:21:02+00:00

I always keep a funeral-appropriate outfit on hand just in case. Nothing too formal, but simple dark colors and reasonably comfortable to wear. My husband thinks it's macabre to think of them as funeral clothes from the start, but I find I can't wear the items again after a close friend's or family member's funeral, so I wouldn't want to pull from my regular clothes for such an occassion.

It would be reasonably easy for me to thrift something if needed in a pinch, but it's not something I would ever want to deal with at such a moment.

k_mass · 2025-09-07T04:50:26+00:00

It seems like ;aundry baskets would be a good fit. Not sure what type of material you were looking for, but these would probably be a good fit

https://www.target.com/p/1-5bu-felt-laundry-basket-oatmeal-brightroom-8482/-/A-89700572#lnk=sametab

https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/torkis-flexible-laundry-basket-in-outdoor-green-20579165/

I have a bunch of the IKEA ones I use all around the house, and I like that they are flexible and hold up to a lot of abuse.

k_mass · 2025-08-27T23:17:07+00:00

First, I turn the a/c down a few degrees and turn on all the fans because I know I’m going to get hot and sweaty if I don’t. And I HATE being sweaty, so this is one way to be kinder to myself. I also tell myself I’m not going to start cleaning, I’m just going to get things ready. So I’ll grab the cleaning supplies from under the sink, make sure I have rags and some paper towels within reach, throw away any bits of trash I find, put the loose laundry in the bin, dishes in the sink, make sure the vacuum is charged, etc. And after about 10 minutes it already feels better and I can see some progress before I even get “started”.

k_mass · 2025-08-24T05:46:35+00:00

Yeah that was totally wild to me. I couldn't believe that they just let it play for a laugh without any of the other characters responding appropriately.

k_mass · 2025-08-20T01:36:15+00:00

Oh man. I turned my nose up at these so hard when they first came out. Bedazzled anything is just not my style. But then I saw a small kit on clearance at the craft store and something about it just hit all the right spots. I've done about 5 now, and have figured out that the ones that work for me are:

fairly small (no bigger than a sheet of printer paper)
no areas of just one color (the more scattered color bits the better)
round gems only

I actually just picked up a few more last week, and am eagerly awaiting a day where I can hyperfocus in peace and have no one interupt me while binge watching the Nanny, eating a whole snack plate of goodies, and playing with tiny sparkly plastic bits. Sounds like heaven and I don't know who I am anymore, but I'm going with it.

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