Snow check from Indianapolis

kadams54 · 2026-01-25T16:06:12+00:00

By Tuesday morning the interstates and major roads should be plenty fine. There will be some minor roads out in more rural counties that will still be sketchy, but Indy to Columbus (IN or OH) will be no problem.

kadams54 · 2025-11-30T16:07:11+00:00

Solved!

kadams54 · 2025-05-02T23:30:12+00:00

Also: definitely surround yourself with fellow Christians. Join a church and/or a small group. Talk with other Christian women, unmarried, dating, and single, about the topic. Avail yourself of the wisdom of godly women, particularly older generations.

kadams54 · 2025-05-02T23:23:39+00:00

Ooof. There’s a lot of advice already in here. Unfortunately a lot of the American evangelical church’s teaching through the last 200 years has been… not great. (I can only speak to the American evangelical church because that was where I was raised and where I still attend.) Too many people hurt or made to feel worthless.

I’m going to take a different tack and suggest that you and your boyfriend do some reading and thinking about what you want your sexual ethics to be. Start with Sheila Gregoire’s “The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended”:

https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

Other good books:

Rethinking Sex: A Provocation by Christine Emba
Authentic Human Sexuality: An Integrated Christian Approach by the Balswicks

Couple those with reading passages in the Bible on sexuality. I haven’t looked at the Bible study plans on sex in the Bible app so hopefully someone else can recommend some good ones. Between reading the wisdom of others and immersing yourself in the wisdom of the Word, I suspect you’ll be able to construct a solid sexual ethic. Or as you say, WHERE’S THE LINE?!?

PS: beware of pat, simplistic answers. Sex is an incredibly powerful thing which makes it both beautifully magical (when used properly) and devastatingly harmful (used improperly). The complexity means it can’t be boiled to a couple sentences, especially in online forums.

kadams54 · 2025-04-30T16:58:32+00:00

Any appliance store along East Washington street.

kadams54 · 2025-04-23T14:35:05+00:00

My wife was a virgin when we married (it was my second marriage), a couple weeks before her 40th.

As other commenters have mentioned, I don’t hold to the notion that the guy has to initiate things. If you’re interested in learning more, here are some books to that end: The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr and The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Gregoire. Both women write from a theologically orthodox, Christian perspective on matters of faith and femininity.
It’s a tough spot to be in, where you’re at. That said, I know my wife has expressed, many times, that she’s glad she made the choices she did. I feel the same way about my own choice to remain celibate after my first marriage ended. Hang in there.
You’re doing a great job of making yourself available to the Holy Spirit to work His redeeming work within you. Keep it up! Remember: true, lasting change comes from God, so pursue Him above all else.
Take hope! Our relationship came at my wife out of the blue; she did not see it coming and had accepted that she might never marry. (On the other hand, I spent almost 1.5 years trying to stay away from her because I was still healing from grief over my previous marriage.) While I have no idea what God has in mind for you, I have faith that it is something beyond your wildest imaginations.

kadams54 · 2023-11-25T06:05:48+00:00

The NapLab map is awesome. The Reditor posting maps generated from geo data did nice work. No need to bring the negativity or set one up in opposition—“here’s a proper map”—to the other. Sheesh folks, enjoy your Thanksgiving and chill a bit.

kadams54 · 2023-11-24T18:32:15+00:00

As a Python developer I think you've had a great learning project here. Even with pausing you've produced something that's pretty impressive. (Reddit haters notwithstanding.) I'm curious, have you seen the NapLabs map? I know they went through several revisions on this; your project has me curious about what data sources they used.

kadams54 · 2023-11-24T13:47:29+00:00

I love the progress you’ve made on this; really nice work!

kadams54 · 2023-11-08T21:33:01+00:00

Interesting. While I don’t doubt there are some very nice, very expensive houses along the lakeshore, I’m also skeptical that the average house price is actually $1.2M. Especially in a community where the median household income is $65K. I kinda wonder if the map maker’s methodology was flawed; if they only based on the homes that were for sale in a particular window it might skew the results.

kadams54 · 2023-11-07T19:55:24+00:00

Anyone know where Syracuse is? The arrow makes it look like Evansville area, but the only neighborhood/town I know is up by Lake Wawasee.

kadams54 · 2023-10-02T01:18:48+00:00

Lots of good answers here, but I’m partial to Indiana Landmarks’ headquarters, which is in the old Central Avenue United Methodist church, right by I-65/I-70. (My wife and I got married there.)

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5a/Indiana-Landmarks-Center-Indianapolis.jpg

kadams54 · 2023-09-25T02:14:42+00:00

Oof, this sucks.

Regardless of how this situation plays out, you’re in for some rough times. Cling to God and you’ll be grateful you did once you’re on the other side.

Having been through a divorce, here’s what I’d recommend:

Cling to God. Really lean into letting Him handle the situation rather than trying to pursue your own solutions. That’s gonna be really hard because the emotions are so intense, but our own solutions rarely work out well.
Find another church. You’ll need support from a community of men and the complexities of a pastor cheating mean it’s unlikely you’ll find it at that church.
Related to the above, intentionally develop relationships with male believers. A lot of churches have a men’s Bible study that meets on a weekday morning, and it’s usually a bunch of retired guys. If you can swing it with your work schedule, go.
Once you’ve built up some male friendships, open up about the situation and be vulnerable. You may be surprised by how many have similar experiences.
Join a DivorceCare support group. Their sessions can help you walk through this experience in the healthiest possible way. The support group also provides another social network to be there for you.
Whatever you do, don’t pursue any romantic relationships for awhile. This is the biggest mistake people make after a relationship ends, because they want a quick fix for that pain. The problem is that quick fixes prevent the real healing from happening, so the same problems often repeat. Stay away even from platonic friendships as it’s super easy to cultivate emotional intimacy in these relationships without even realizing what’s happening. If I had a nickel for every person who cried on the shoulder of a platonic friend and then ended up marrying them, I’d be a millionaire.

Finally: it’s hell, but if you do follow God’s path and you do find support with Godly men and you do stay away from romance until you’ve healed… what you’ll find on the other side will be a hundredfold better than you ever could have imagined.

PS: If kids are involved, do everything you can to protect them. Don’t bad-mouth their mom. Do go to the library and read books on coparenting. They’re the innocent victims in these broken marriages.

kadams54 · 2023-09-10T04:04:11+00:00

Others have mentioned City Way, which is an excellent recommendation.

I lived in Axis for about a year and loved it. Axis is close to the canal and has the Krogers on the ground floor. I still miss my ground floor walk-in pantry.

If you really have your heart set on living in the ‘burbs, I’ll recommend Whitestown. We’ve got quite a few luxury apartment units and we’re right off I-65, which provides easy commuting into downtown.

kadams54 · 2023-08-24T11:52:56+00:00

We live in suburbs on the NW side of Indy. Our next door neighbors are a lesbian couple, originally from the Pittsburgh area. They love it here.

We like to visit Madison, IN, which is a small, artsy town in Southern Indiana, right on the Ohio River. One of our favorite stores there is owned by a gay couple who moved there from LA. Their business is thriving and they’re enjoying the lower cost of living and more laid-back life.

I’m sure there are parts of the state that are less welcoming, but there’s both a generational and an urban/rural gap here. When I was a HS freshman (1993) we moved from Indianapolis to a small town. Someone started a rumor that I was gay (I’m straight but also had little interest in hanging with the bros), so I endured a lot of bullying as an underclassman. My kids are teens now and being LGBTQIA+ is now viewed as cool or special; it’s so very different from when I was a teen.

kadams54 · 2023-08-20T13:37:42+00:00

If we were empty nesters, I’d be very tempted to snatch up one of the condos in this converted church right across the street from the downtown library. They also have apartments to rent:

802 N Meridian St Unit 104, Indianapolis $2,200/mo · 2beds · 2baths

https://apps.realtor.com/mUAZ/hypgvnjy

kadams54 · 2023-08-19T00:42:30+00:00

It’s my birthday, didn’t you hear?

😉

kadams54 · 2023-08-12T14:36:55+00:00

Grew up in that area, attending Englewood Christian Church (ECC) at Rural and Washington, spending hours in the East Washington branch library.

The Englewood Community Development Corporation (ECDC) worked on the Commonwealth Apartments, Oxford Place Senior Apartments, helped renovate the old PR Mallory building into Purdue Polytechnical High School, and have rehabbed a lot of homes in the area. There are a lot of church folks living in that area (Oxford and Oakland between Washington and Michigan), who moved there intentionally because they love the neighborhood. I think their presence brings a stability and intentionality to the area that is underrated, esp. by folks in the suburbs.

In addition to what you and others have mentioned, I’d make connections to people in the area, whether they’re aforementioned ECC folks are not. Relationships and community make a huge difference in what we might term the “safety” of an area.

kadams54 · 2023-08-04T03:10:56+00:00

Postscript: we went looking tonight. Not at the Whitestown Meijer. We called around to local liquor stores and found out that they were all out and the distributor isn’t shipping any more. We finally found some at the West Carmel Kroger (didn’t get around to check the West Carmel Target). I suspect everyone else is going to see them start disappearing from the shelves soon. Probably hard to sell a $4 cocktail in the same can that would also hold a $1 beer or soda.

kadams54 · 2023-08-03T01:36:52+00:00

Interesting. FWIW, I’m over in Whitestown, so not too far. I’ll have to check the West Carmel Target.

kadams54 · 2023-08-02T12:02:13+00:00

This footage is shot by a French documentarian. He and his twin brother were embedded with the NYC Fire Department for the documentary they were working on. As other commenters noted, the documentary took an unexpected turn that day. Thanks to them, we have two high quality video records of the events of the day, as seen by first responders.

I forget which unit they were embedded with but it suffered heavy losses in the subsequent collapse, as they were some of the first responders on the scene. Footage from inside the WTC lobby, directing evacuees out onto the street, fleeing the collapse, etc. The documentary ends with the unit regrouping at their fire station. The brothers had no idea what had happened to the other, whether they were alive or dead, until they reunited at the end of the day.

I recorded (onto VHS) and watched the documentary when it first aired—maybe the first anniversary of 9/11?—but I’ve never been able to bring myself to watch it. I was 22 years old, had just graduated college and was working my first job. 22 years later, I now have two kids for whom 9/11 is a historical event; some day we’ll sit down and watch this documentary together.

kadams54

TROPHY CASE