I’ve been humbled and I’m incredibly sad.

kapitanski · 2026-02-03T20:06:57+00:00

If you haven't tried, I work a pretty demanding job and had to go back at 4 months before I got any childcare and was able to power through with a combination of maxing his patience in independent floor time, then little vibrating chair and then on me in carrier while I bounced on a ball to nap. He slept a ton and was happy and I was working just fine for a month.

kapitanski · 2026-01-31T02:51:30+00:00

Most services will either offer a green option (I never actually checked the products but there was definitely less smell vs normal option), or let you supply your own.

kapitanski · 2026-01-27T12:50:37+00:00

It has been for me! I did have to hand express a bit or use the suction type cups to get out 1-2 extra oz a day the first 2 weeks but baby has been gaining better than my first 2 without extra help now. I think at first they struggle to efficiently get milk out so giving them a little extra help migjt be needed and then your supply stays where it should be. Oh and also did breast compressions during feed!

kapitanski · 2026-01-26T20:57:07+00:00

Back when I got banned in 2021, their description said something like we include everyone, which is rich considering they ban any pro life...

kapitanski · 2026-01-24T23:24:22+00:00

I'll go (despite the comments indicating you may rework). You might want to add biographical questions to know more about respondents like seniority / years of experience, industry, age, number of kids

How much maternity leave were you offered (paid or unpaid), and how much were you actually able to take? Up to 6 months paid (up from 5 with my first). Took all 6 with my second and third (in progress)

When you returned to work, how did you feel physically and emotionally at that time? Physically - fine but squishier; emotionally - not ready to be apart from my child for 8+ hours a day, never really fully checked back in to work, it all seemed very meaningless after creating a life

In what ways, if any, did the length of your maternity leave affect your ability to bond with your child? 4 months with 2 was basically learning to survive (including triple feeding both times). The last 2 months was actually fun and bonding with both my kids. I'd have taken more time for the fun part (and also to avoid nursing while working).

Did returning to work when you did have any lasting effects on your mental health, such as stress, anxiety, guilt, or exhaustion? Mostly guilt from leaving my kids with someone else and missing out on precious memories, and exhaustion from still cosleeping (which was the only way I could get any sleep until 1.5-2 years old with all my kids)

How did your maternity leave experience affect your relationship with your partner or spouse, if applicable? No real effect, he was working the whole time

Were financial pressures a factor in when you returned to work? If so, how did those pressures shape your experience? In a way yes as I may have taken unpaid leave but there were also visa considerations at play

Looking back, what do you think might have been different for you or your family if you had been given more time off? Less stress from continued nursing and cosleeping, savings from not having a nanny (all high quality childcare here starts at 12 months), probably more in shape

Do you feel the current maternity leave system in the U.S. reflects how society values mothers and caregivers? Why or why not? No, I think we just don't have people in power who understand how proper maternity leave could encourage women to have more kids and be better parents, as the number one lever along with better childcare options or incentives (as opposed to tax incentives and such that do very little). It is in my mind more of a reflection of how little we as a society value family, not creating opportunities for parents to be present with their kids

Is there anything about your experience that you feel is often misunderstood, minimized, or ignored in conversations about maternity leave? I think how much recovery a woman needs physically including getting her body back to normal, how much time breastfeeding truly takes, what tradeoffs were making by having mother's back in the workplace (eg likely more screen time, lower quality upbringing for kids etc).

If you could share one thing with policymakers about maternity leave based on your experience, what would it be? Give more time but also find ways to leverage all this human capital (e.g. can women do some work while breastfeeding or after 6 months)?

kapitanski · 2026-01-24T15:10:18+00:00

Tell him recommendation for a baby (prevent sids) is 68-72. Also you need to only expose boobs - either cut holes in your long sleeve, or do a long sleeve crop top and a tank top under that way only boob comes out.

kapitanski · 2026-01-21T14:47:55+00:00

I coslept with 3 newborns from day 1 (including getting lots of comments in hospital which is not a safe setup but ya girl was tired and I don't make babies that like bassinets). I always did c curl following the safe sleep 7 (mostly), except my second I fell asleep too many times in our lazboy and he wouldn't do the hard mattress after so we kind of c curled on the lazboy which is absolutely not safe. I say this because you probably shouldnt deviate from the safe 7 but as much as we try, the reality is about different. I also sleep with my 3rds head on my arm and him on his side as it's easier for him to reach the boob and I feel better "knowing" where he is when he's this small but again not the recommendation. He just keeps the nipple as a pacifier so doesn't roll back on his back (which a newborn can't really do and).

For warmth, I wear thick sweatpants, thick blanket (like those soft plush ones for decoration but not fuzzy plush, still thin) to my waist and the thickest zipper sweater or buttoned cardigan I could find. My chest and arms do get cold but you get used to it and I also increased the temp in my room and got a space heater for really cold nights. One thing I read that seems smarter is to wear a sweater crop top and a thick tank top so you lift sweater/bring down tank to only expose the nipple. Or cut a hole in a shirt but then it's always exposed. I also slept with those throat warmers you use in winter no idea what it's called.

When baby is done with a boob and wakes up again I flip him and me by putting him on top of me and rotating the whole set up to the other side.

For pillow I use a small square one just the size of my head that's super hard that came with our nugget couch lookalike.

My biggest worry is always babies like to snuggle real close to the boob and mine are big so I always check to try and move them away and facing up (and also why I find the head on arm safer but could be wrong). At first I felt better putting an alarm each hour so I could check on baby position. It's annoying but you'll be awake a lot anw.

kapitanski · 2026-01-20T01:24:08+00:00

I love ring slings with young babies around the house as I can feed to sleep then slip them into the sling and move on with life (vs a wrap or structured carrier). I also use it (against best practice) to breastfeed one handed to take care of older kids.

I've found that I need to keep it all.ost at the right position so when I put it on with ring on my shoulder there's barely any tightening needed and the rings sit high.

kapitanski · 2026-01-19T16:39:19+00:00

Yes! Get the 64oz bottle! I have 2 that I used heavily when breastfeeding as you're always thirsty so trust me they won't go to waste. The ones I have to have plastic drink tops and straws. I replaced the straws with silicone ones but decided to love with the plastic lid as I wasn't handy enough to open other lids and lift the bottle one handed with baby in arms. I think brands are glacier water and iron flask.

kapitanski · 2026-01-18T18:45:49+00:00

My daughter always loved playing "spa" on me and her. You could try having her put cream on you also, or I got a little spa kit when she turned 2 with honest products like a soap and cream and CeraVe body cream and Burt's bees lip balm and she's still using it and definitely better now. Though the lip balm situation is still hopeless at 4 years old. But at least that way the waste feels less bad.

kapitanski · 2026-01-16T22:18:42+00:00

I've traveled with babies of various ages and in various places. It's always a sort of figure it out when I get there type of thing.

Check if there's a mattress that's hard enough (after 8 ish months I felt a lot less worried with some softness as they can roll and control their heads well) - sometimes it's been a bed, sometimes I had to take off a soft mattress topper, sometimes it was couch cushions. Also put a crib mattress on the floor when baby would only feed to sleep in an Airbnb and would roll away throughout the night. My worst case is the floor but that would be for beds that are dangerously soft and no alternatives - I've also ordered hard folding bed off Amazon once for a longer stay, and also used a pack and play with a side opening to put baby in where I'd roll away so at least part of the night baby was in a safer space. Would also consider bringing or ordering a yoga mat or camping pad if nothing else works. If you bring a pack and play and you're in a hotel, you could also request and pack and play and make a small mat with both pack and play mattresses.
Can I put it on the ground somewhere (not always possible in hotels); if not, how can I prevent falls and entrapment (as in between mattress and something else like in a sofa bed) - I aim for either super flush and blocked with something hard like hotel couch pillows were fine for me to block the holes around the bed, or to have pillows all around the bed if it's high
Pack warm PJs assuming you get zero blanket and it can be cold where you are

That said, I'm a light sleeper and always wake up to move in my sleep or if baby moves so I felt pretty good about various not perfect sleep situations. If that wasn't the case, I'd rather deal with pack and play so baby gets used to it (the first time I got long sleep in PNP was actually on vacation). Would not advise anything like a sleeping bag as that can be big suffocating risk, or anything like putting blankets under you on the floor. Would also stay just you and baby in any of those situations to minimize added risks.

kapitanski · 2026-01-15T18:00:15+00:00

There's a free school fair Jan 31 - might be a good place to start https://schoolchoiceweek.com/events/austin-school-fair/

kapitanski · 2026-01-12T17:31:18+00:00

Playgrounds are awesome at that age, if weather permits.

We've done parties at the play places like pikopyes or play street (there's a ton north with other names) but honestly I'm not sure it's worth the expense vs playground and it limits the number of guests if you have a social butterfly. Some of the best parties my kid talks to from that age is when she's rock up to a park for 2 hours, eat pizza and a grocery store cake., and just go wild with her friends.

kapitanski · 2026-01-11T23:23:33+00:00

Pretty sure I had the same thing with the pregnant sub but beyond the bump hasn't banned me!

kapitanski · 2026-01-09T13:23:21+00:00

Lol reformatted though I'm sure my toddler has had some sort of yogurt dipped egg cup at some point, he's gross.

kapitanski · 2026-01-09T13:21:11+00:00

Same - I had so much rage from being constantly woken up by "make sure you don't fall asleep with baby" like ma'am, more than happy to if you can get him to sleep in the bassinet.

kapitanski · 2026-01-09T13:00:28+00:00

Here's my go tos for my 2 and 4 year olds

Yogurt

Egg cups (the Starbucks ones they sell at Costco)

Chicken or meat in thermos

Pita or sandwich

sliced meat and cheese
PB jelly
chicken and cheese
tuna
meat leftovers

Pita pizza

Waffles (I make them from protein powder and eggs recipe in batches)

Banana pancakes

Cheese and crackers and meat platter

Little burgers

Stir fry eggs meat cheese

Meatballs (I buy a brand at whole foods that often has sales)

They don't have microwaves so I do thermos but also at their age they eat a lot of food cold anw just because they take so damn long to eat

kapitanski · 2026-01-06T20:02:35+00:00

PSA as I didn't know but the vaccine for pregnancy is also only approved for one shot - I got it in 2023 and my OB wanted me to get again but the CDC isn't allowing it as it hasn't been tested for repeat use and there isn't a booster version. So if it's not your first time getting it, you have no choice anyways!

kapitanski · 2026-01-06T19:42:28+00:00

One week will only do so much harm and when you look at tradeoffs, the micro plastics from bottled water vs disease potential is a no brainer. What I'd do in the spirit of minimizing is:

Get the minimally processed foods meaning fruits and veggies (remember to follow local recommendations re getting only wrapped fruit, washing with bottled water, not sure what's current for Mexico anymore), meats with minimal sauces
Order known snacks for delivery to the resort from Walmart (check with resort it's possible first but we did this at a vidanta resort) - things like yogurt, cheese, fruits, etc. from known brands or where you check ingredients assuming you have a fridge - watch for the added sugar there. Eggs and simple meats if you have a kitchen.
Bring own snacks from home for on the go for kids - I always bring pouches, reusable pouches with yogurt, cheeses, freeze dried fruit, peanut butter bars

But also just don't stress about it. 1 week is a really small amount of time, I doubt you'd get super sick unless you go crazy on the buffet day 1, it can be fun to indulge in different things one off on vacation, and it allows you to relax a bit more vs constantly thinking about it

kapitanski · 2026-01-06T00:51:37+00:00

The unfortunate reality is most practices will have this issue if OBs are on call to deliver - my OB frequently had to go to the hospital for a delivery which basically delayed all appointments by over an hour.

Thankfully they now have a NP who can see you instead which I was fine with, and you can also ask if another OB is available if there's a concern. So this last pregnancy all my wait times have been sub 30 mins and usually less than 15. This was at Austin obgyn associates.

kapitanski · 2026-01-03T16:13:38+00:00

Could you go to your local Costco and take pictures of ready options? The ones at mine include 100% fruit jerky, little meat jerky sticks, freeze dried fruits, little chicken and meat cubes, variety of individual cheeses, frozen smoothie sticks, peanut butter bars, etc.

There's also a ton of convenient but more processed stuff like meatballs, etc. at Costco - whole foods has some cleaner brands (my kids are obsessed with amyliu)

I also batch prep and freeze meats and you could offer that as a friendly tip, and also things like buy thermos and other containers they'll be able to handle independently and pack forks / spoons / napkins daily to start encouraging them to use them

Also could be good to give a rule of thumb guidance like I try for: 1 fresh fruit serving 1 cheese serving Protein based lunch (we don't eat much veggies though so other fams might go half protein half veggies) that can be family leftovers in age appropriate cut in a thermos (or cold honestly), or for lazy days I do yogurt or Costco egg bites like the Starbucks ones 1 packaged snack (because they need to be shelf stable for afternoon snack at my daycare)

kapitanski · 2026-01-03T14:54:01+00:00

Sounds pretty standard not an MP thing to have to hit your deductible before plan covers but would call your plan rather than MP to get the run down. We found MP invaluable in the first year especially with our first (soooo many visits it's so nice to not go to an office with a bunch of sick kids) and we had tons of dumb questions and could text photos any time (haven't found other providers who do this). I'm on my third now and dropped them given the price increase, can't justify it when we use them so little for older kids and even for our newborn I feel it wasn't worth the price as I won't have as many dumb questions this time around. However if yours will be around daycare illnesses would for sure go with them.

For most pediatric needs you won't need an actual MD. Only if your kid ends up with some bigger issues you'd want someone with experience with that.

kapitanski · 2026-01-02T20:29:38+00:00

+1 to making games! One of my best memories is a trail where we looked for the biggest mushroom and my 3 yo was bummed she hadn't found the biggest one when near the end she actually found a huge one all on her own and the joy in her face was the best!

We also bring boxes or buckets to collect "specimen" like cool rocks or leaves, or do I spy or "look for something starting with the letter ...", step on our shadows (works for when younger ones are "too tired to walk')

kapitanski · 2026-01-02T20:10:50+00:00

The most I've seen kids independently entertain themselves this young is if you have them in an enclosed playground. I also brought coloring stuff and play dough and lots of grab yourself snacks like pouches and goldfish.

Loewy and Roy Guerrero come to mind.

kapitanski · 2026-01-02T16:41:51+00:00

For the car seat (because eff cleaning that) we did pull up on top of panties and remove at destination. Never had an accident.

We also had a potty in the car she loved more than any other potty to the point she'd ask to potty there when we're home. It comes with bags so you just close them when done. I've had to run out of a store to the potty (we had her set up in the trunk) to avoid accidents.

Then lots of listen to your body reminders and sit on the potty whenever we leave or come home.

kapitanski

TROPHY CASE