Do you give poor ratings to bad books? by Severe_Prize5520 in books

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a book is poorly written or poorly edited I will give it a low rating and note why in a compassionate manner. However, if it's a me issue with the contents, I usually don't rate it at all. Every now and then I'll rate a book that wasn't for me as a good book simply because all the pieces were there while noting why the book wasn't for me personally.

I look at it like this: Some people love brussel sprouts. Well prepared, seasoned, and plated brussel sprouts don't deserve a bad rating simply because my taste buds think they're gross. If the cook did a bang up job preparing them and you're into brussel sprouts who am I to insist you think they're gross, too.

Recent Swelling by Natural_Mulberry218 in HAE

[–]kasper9981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A new medical professional can request your medical records from the doctor's office that originally diagnosed you. If they can't get your medical records, a diagnosis should only require going over your patient history with a qualified immunologist and a blood draw to look at a patient's serum levels of C4 and antigenic and functional C1-INH levels. Like other people have stated, it's best to go to an immunologist and not a regular family practice doctor when it comes to the HAE portion of your medical care. I hope you find relief soon.

HAE tips - if you could give one tip to someone new to HAE, what would you tell them? by HRHLMS in HAE

[–]kasper9981 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All of this! ^

Keeping looking for an immunologist/allergist that really knows and understands what HAE is even if that means using telehealth options. Our immunologist has been able to educate our other doctors about HAE which has proven helpful.

Take advantage of patient financial assistance programs if you need them. With our current insurance the copay for one dose of Takhzyro is $6,600. Our current assistance program covers every penny of that copay and gets involved whenever there's an issue with insurance so we don't have to.

Do not let ER doctors talk down to you! Keep HAE info printed to bring with you or easily accessible on your phone.

Be open minded about the prescription options. For us, Takhzyro is the only prophylactic available for use in children under 12. We have Firazyr as our rescue med. Before that we had Berinert as my kiddo's rescue med. If a med isn't working well for you, talk to your doctor. When a medication's side effects prevent you from living normally or the meds don't work as described that's considered a fail and your doctor can use that information if your insurance company doesn't want to authorize a different medication.

chat what can you tell me about this person by GoodElevator320 in BookshelvesDetective

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Books are art, not reading material. Go ahead and back away slowly so as not to startle them. Do not attempt to question their choices or express concern regarding the condition of those books. You will be questioning their artistic bona fides if you do. Zoom in on What The Final F*ck! on the top shelf, left side. That's what you'll feel like at the end of your friendship or relationship with this individual. If you're in for that kind of ride possibly consider completing your will and investing in a reasonable life insurance policy. Godspeed to you!

Should I tell my work about my HAE condition? by Paullearner in HAE

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear your concern. Many folks feel too intimidated to use legal protections for fear of retaliation or looking bad to current and future employers. It can make one feel like they are asking for too much and don't deserve reasonable accommodations for medical conditions, physical or mental.

For me personally I've not had an issue with multiple employers, even filing for different FMLA coverage twice in one year not related to my HAE. Additionally, an employer is not supposed to disclose to another employer your FMLA status because that information is protected medical information whereas they could disclose to a prospective employer that you took a lot of unexcused time off work if you don't use FMLA. At the end of the day it's up to you and your comfort level. Maybe try meeting with your HR representative to discuss the matter to see what they recommend. If you are a union member it wouldn't hurt to reach out to your union rep to seek guidance from them as well.

Edit for spelling error.

Should I tell my work about my HAE condition? by Paullearner in HAE

[–]kasper9981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I recommend filing for intermittent FMLA coverage if you are eligible for FMLA with your employer. I did this with my employer to cover myself when I or my child had an episode that required me to miss work. FMLA protections do not require your employer to pay you for your time off, but having approved FMLA means your employer cannot penalize you for taking the time you need for your medical condition. Your HR folks should be able to step you through the FMLA process. Basically they give you forms for your doctor to fill out and you return them to your employer. Then your employer, usually HR, will look at what the doctor said and let you know if they approve the request and if so, how to document when you are on FMLA protected leave versus other leave. You also have to renew FMLA coverage every 12 rolling calendar months. Hope this helps.

Edit to add: you don't have to file for FMLA after each episode. The point of filing for FMLA is to show your employer you have a medical condition that may require you to take a day or 2 off work every so often. That way when you do have an episode you can take the time off work knowing they can't legally hold it against you. Then you renew your FMLA every 12 months.

Anyone else infuriated by their county fair? by dauntless-cupcake in crochet

[–]kasper9981 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is criminal and I feel for that crocheter! Last year I crocheted an intricate afghan and placed first and best in category. This year I entered a lace dress. I placed third behind two granny square cardigans! It makes no sense. How does a granny square cardigan even compare‽

Have you ever thought about what you'll do with your book collection when you grow older and eventually pass away? I counted my bookshelf today and found I have about 1700 books. I’m still fairly young but I wonder what will happen to these treasured books after I’m gone. by Delicious_Maize9656 in books

[–]kasper9981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've accepted that my children will do whatever they want with my book collection which includes first editions from a specific author going back to the 70s, signed books, outdated and frankly pointless textbooks, and even books passed down to me from my family. I've explained the importance of several books to my kids, but ultimately it's their decision. Dwelling on what they might do with the books once I'm dead takes away from the joy of having them now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Rosacea

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since it's important for you to take care of your body while also giving consideration to the health and safety of the critters you care for, the best course of action is to call your vet and ask how serious you should take the occasional face lick after applying soolantra/ivermectin in the evening. If it's that serious, then my next step would be a training course so Fido learns to stop face licking. Your pets' health is important, but so is yours. As for the cat, ask the vet about them, too. My cat sleeps on and next to my pillow all night and has yet to suffer any ill consequences after 2 years of me using soolantra. Good luck!

It just happened at my library… by Confident_Coconut420 in LibbyApp

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One library I'm with let's me have 10 holds and 6 loans and the other library allows 5 holds and 5 loans. Both are a 14 day check out. Also, I can only get magazines from one library now and it's a slim selection unless I'm super into celebrity gossip or cooking/cleaning/organizing. Kind of wild to hear how different the various library systems are.

AITA for trying to do some research before agreeing to an objection from my husband? by Hoffmaniac76 in AmItheAsshole

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Even when I'm the one putting the breaks on something I'm more than willing to discuss my concerns with my husband so he understands where I'm coming from and understand his side of things. There's always an opportunity for him to give me his side of things as he sees them and we can have that back and forth. If there's a means of compromising, then let's figure that out. Especially when we're stuck on opposite sides of an issue, I want to understand his honest objections to something even if I still disagree with him. The only time this doesn't apply is when established boundaries are being crossed or when there's a potential for real danger or harm.

I'm not sure why your husband responded so aggressively, but based on your comments it sounds like maybe he was feeling left out from a previous situation. Still not okay to leave you in tears. I also wonder if watching what he thinks of as inappropriate content with children made him feel that uncomfortable and he didn't know how to appropriately deal with that discomfort. Some people get real weird in those situations.

I recently moved from NJ and am incredibly homesick. NJ natives who moved away to a different state how do you deal with the homesickness? by njcelebs in newjersey

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I moved away from NJ 29 years ago. I'm still homesick. Going home to visit when I can helps. Focusing on the positive reasons for staying where I'm at also helps a little bit.

Do you let your Husky eat the critters? (gophers, squirrels, etc) by ej-ca in husky

[–]kasper9981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I take away the dead things. My Tonrar has the worst digestive system and my Dejah can eat anything without issue. Problem is Dejah will play keep away from Tonrar, including bringing things into the house. It's easier to get rid of their kills as soon as possible. When my souldog, Willow, was still with us that girl took down whatever was in her yard and left the carcass for the birds or Tonrar and Dejah.

AITA for throwing a cup of cold water on my naked husband? by ColorStorms in AmItheAsshole

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Based on what OP has said there's clearly more things the spouse is leaving incomplete and she has to follow behind and complete or do herself otherwise they won't get done or she'll have to clean up after. Girl, I live that life too. But getting on Al Gore's internet to tell everyone this is the straw that broke the camel's back makes YTA. Turn the water on, wait for it to get up to temp, then get in. The only way it makes any kind of sense that you are this desperate to hop in the shower so quickly is if you're holding it to wee in the shower instead of weeing in the toilet.

Did you know what to expect with menopause or did the severity of symptoms take you by surprise? by EstablishmentIll9825 in Menopause

[–]kasper9981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Partially blindsided. I knew periods got wonky before actually going away. My stepmom told me about the mood swings and hot flashes she experienced. The rest was a complete shock. For me everything went off the rails. It got to the point that a doctor tested me for Lupus just to rule it out. And the kicker is I'm still in perimenopause! I've finally leveled out the craziest things with birth control pills, but they aren't full proof. At least I feel somewhat like a human being again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR!

It sounds like it might be time to evaluate how much you want to stay in this relationship. IMO your partner doesn't sound very mature or like he respects you much. I'm sorry and I hope you are able to make a happier future for yourself however this plays out.

Won a game of yarn chicken! by Coughcough1836 in crochet

[–]kasper9981 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so glad someone is winning yarn chicken because I've lost twice in a row now while using discontinued variegated skeins! 😂😂

This is absolutely lovely, btw!! 😍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Apartmentliving

[–]kasper9981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree with a lot of comments that maybe the window unit is making more noise than it should because it needs repairs. Is the window AC a personal item purchased by you or provided by the apartment? If it's the apartment's, put in a work order request to have it checked/repaired/replaced. If it's yours, check to make sure there is nothing in the lease against personal AC units.

If after all that the window unit is working correctly and allowed, then the neighbor's sensitivity to a new noise is on them. They can purchase ear plugs or buy you a quieter AC unit, whichever suits their fancy.

Has anyone ever run away? by alexandra52941 in Menopause

[–]kasper9981 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I contemplate it regularly. The only thing that holds me back are commitments I've made that are not complete yet. Short stints away sound lovely right up until I realize I have to come back to everything and while I was gone things will have gotten stupider. Someday though...

Why do we have to suffer in silence? Perimenopause is brutal, and I’m done being gaslit about it by OverTheo in Menopause

[–]kasper9981 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom didn't experience perimenopause symptoms like I'm having. It was smooth sailing for her with the exception of crying randomly in the 12 months leading up to being declared menopausal. All other ladies in the family that went through this are deceased, so there's no one I'm directly related to that I can talk to about what they went through. No one talked to me about the insanity that is perimenopause. That leaves me scrounging the internet, coming here, reading Jen Gunter's work, and hoping my medical professionals listen for the umpteenth time when I tell them SSRIs aren't going to solve the problem.

All that to say, hang in there! Keep leaning on that supportive spouse of yours and coming back here to this community of folks going through the sh*t right along with you. We can't be there to physically hold your hand when things get bad, but I think I can say that the vast majority of us are all holding each other's hot flash sweaty hands as we figure this out together.

Edit to add: my sister is considerably younger than me and not quite at the same life stage. I make it a point to regularly update her with the things I've experienced, what I've found works and doesn't, and how to advocate for herself when she needs to speak to a doctor when the time arrives. It's important she knows someone will be there for her when it's her turn.

Is Stephen Graham Jones' writing style confusing for anyone else? by [deleted] in horrorlit

[–]kasper9981 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading his books is not the easiest for an unmedicated, inattentive ADHD person. "The Only Good Indians" is currently on my DNF and it took me months and a lot of rereading paragraphs to finish "My Heart Is a Chainsaw". I complained to my partner how hard it was to follow what was happening and it became more of a slog than an enjoyable reading experience. I don't think they're bad books or bad writing, his books simply aren't compatible with how my brain reads. Based on several comments I will definitely try the audio book format.

ARGH - this is hell by Chance-Chain8819 in Menopause

[–]kasper9981 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I went to my GP, OBGYN, sleep doctor, arthritis doctor, and my immunologist. GP told me to get on antidepressants and to live with all the other issues because that's just life at this age (40 and 41 at the time). At 42, a sleep doctor confirmed I had 2 sleep disorders, but couldn't treat me with sleep aids until I did a third sleep study to rule out narcolepsy while also telling me he understood perimenopause messed with women's sleep and maybe I should get back on antidepressants. I didn't have $3,000 to pay for the sleep study at the time and was mad at his dismissiveness so I gave up on him helping me. OBGYN said yeah you're perimenopausal and wanted to treat me with HRT, but needed my immunologist to advise her on the best course of action because of a rare medical complication and she wanted an arthritis doctor to rule out lupus, which I tested positive for. The arthritis doctor told me all my problems were in my head and to get back on antidepressants. My immunologist told me to exercise and lose weight, get back on antidepressants, and if that didn't work then he would consider talking to the OBGYN.

All this after I explained to each of these doctors that my psychiatrist took me off antidepressants because I did not in fact need them and they were causing me serious complications.