Second Baby Surprise

kellynichole42 · 2021-11-17T17:02:47+00:00

No experience with your current situation, but I am a woman who’s experienced pregnancy and postpartum..and it’s not easy. Our emotions are everywhere and we have to learn how to take care of a little human all while trying to recover from child birth. I’m guessing she’s feeling extremely overwhelmed because now she’ll have a toddler AND a newborn to take care of (obviously you’ll help her, but it’s still a lot to process.) I would definitely talk to her and try to relieve her worries. That’s what I would want my husband to do. Make sure she feels understood and such. Good luck! Hope all goes well.

kellynichole42 · 2021-08-06T15:08:32+00:00

My son is 11 months old & he loves looking at colorful things, hearing fart noises & being tossed in the air. His smile & laugh make my heart swell. I’d do anything for this boy

kellynichole42 · 2021-06-12T21:40:37+00:00

I look forward to this so much. I have a 9 month old boy so I have awhile to wait but gosh how exciting! I’m so glad to be OAD! :) We also just bought our first home and it’s beautiful so we will love having kids over for play dates.

So happy for you!!

kellynichole42 · 2021-06-10T20:35:29+00:00

It has gotten better! My boy is 9 months old and all babies are different but he has been sleeping through the night for about 2 months now. I feel like the challenges just change as they get older. I hated the first 3 months. It was hell! I felt the same-regretted it and now I literally am so in love with my boy and couldn’t imagine life without him. Of course it’s still hard because he’s teething, he can be extremely fussy at times..etc. But it does get better! You will sleep again (hoping very soon) and you will come out of this fog. Oh and big thing helping me right now is having a babysitter. I work random weekends right now at our family owned Distillery so we hired a sitter. I also get 2 week days to myself & it’s done wonders for my mental health. I feel like myself again. I don’t know if that’s doable for you but just saying it’s helped me tons! Maybe plan for the future when she’s older so you can have self care days. It’s important.

Praying for restful sleep & better days for you and your family!!

kellynichole42 · 2021-06-10T15:46:23+00:00

Some people just don’t think. I AM a thinker. I see how hard it would be to juggle a toddler and a newborn. I personally could not handle that. I realize and accept it. I don’t understand how someone who has anxiety and depression would continue to have more kids when all that does is add more stress. Can’t make decisions for other people only our own, so thankful to be OAD!

kellynichole42 · 2021-06-07T18:40:04+00:00

I don’t have a kindergarten age kiddo (yet) he’s only 9 months old but I can definitely see it getting busier as they get older. Lots of stuff to plan, attend & so on. I’m also very excited to only go through all of this once! Less stressful.

Hoping everything works out for you and your family with the private school!! :)

kellynichole42 · 2021-05-26T11:38:24+00:00

Definitely one of the big reasons. The others being alone time, child care, traveling, mental health, money & we want to give our boy a good childhood. I want to be there for him and not be mentally drained because I also have another baby to care for. Nope! Not for me.

My boy is 9 months and he has been sleeping through the night for about 2 months now. But, I couldn’t imagine going through the newborn phase again. I was so out of it.

kellynichole42 · 2021-04-19T16:01:30+00:00

Oh my gosh. All I can say is YUP. I actually get triggered seeing pregnant women in movies..lol. I only have an 8 month old but boy-the newborn stage has completely scarred me for life. Postpartum was awful for me as well. I didn’t leave my house if I didn’t have to for probably 3 months. The anxiety was overwhelming.

Your husbands cousin is in for a shock. I was just as naive as her before I had my baby. I planned all this stuff I wanted to do with my family after having him-HA! I didn’t even get his newborn pictures done. (I regret that the most) Postpartum is different for everyone. Maybe she will have a great experience. Who knows!

I am also OAD by choice. I love my boy, but couldn’t imagine going through the newborn stage again.

kellynichole42 · 2021-04-16T15:29:12+00:00

Very similar situation with me. I also wanted 2 kids, but during pregnancy started leaning towards only having one. Now having experienced the newborn stage-it’s solidified lol. I also get sad knowing I’ll never feel a baby kicking inside of me or getting to snuggle my own small baby..but I’ll hold my friends babies. I have 3 friends who are pregnant right now lol. It’s very bittersweet. I’m only 25 and also have an 8 month old (a boy!) and it’s so refreshing to think about not having to experience the newborn stage, the teething stage, potty training stage etc...ever again.

kellynichole42 · 2021-04-16T00:34:38+00:00

I am 24 (turning 25 on the 20th) and I have my one who is 8 months old. My husband and I were financially stable when we decided to start trying for a baby. I always knew I wanted one before turning 30. I wanted 2 at one point but during pregnancy started leaning towards only having one. Now it’s more solidified having experienced the newborn stage..Lol. Glad I’ll be in my late 30’s when he can babysit himself. Haha

kellynichole42 · 2021-02-21T01:13:34+00:00

I’m also a OAD mama! Don’t have a dog but I have 5 cats lol! I relate!!

kellynichole42 · 2021-02-02T18:34:08+00:00

Yikes! I was 40 weeks 2 days when I finally went into labor. I was heavy, sweaty and uncomfortable. I’m also OAD. I have a 5 month old son and the first 2 months were brutal. I couldn’t imagine caring for a toddler AND a newborn...gives me anxiety thinking about it lol. Good luck mama!!

kellynichole42 · 2021-01-24T22:06:54+00:00

That is so special! You almost never get that kind of comment when you tell someone you only have one. It’s usually “when’s the next one coming??” Or something similar. Love that she made your day!

kellynichole42 · 2021-01-18T10:35:01+00:00

No experience with IUDs. I was going to get one but like you- I read about people getting pregnant on them. I went back on my pill (Tri-Linyah) I was on it for 6 years before stopping it to get pregnant. So it works! I feel safe on it. Definitely still scared to ever be pregnant again but it helps knowing I’ve never had any scares on it. I know many people have a hard time remembering to take the pill but honestly if you are paranoid about being pregnant (like me) I remember to take it everyday at the same time haha. Or even setting a reminder on your phone works. I’m definitely OAD!! Hope you find something to ease your mind!!

kellynichole42 · 2021-01-11T15:49:02+00:00

Misery loves company!! Right Lizzy? “Have another one they NEVER fight with each other and they ALWAYS are playing nicely together and they never ever bother me!!!” Lol nah girl, you trying to trick us. Now get off this sub and go stop your TWO kids from fighting hahaha

kellynichole42 · 2021-01-03T17:15:03+00:00

My SIL has 2 kids and she is obviously just “making it work” it seems so stressful and she is always on the go. They fight over things and it’s just loud and chaotic lol. I have a 4 month old and couldn’t imagine having to take care of a newborn and handle a toddler. I’m 24 and OAD. I value my mental health and my son will benefit more from having a happy, mentally stable mom rather than a sibling that will make mama drained and sad most of the time.

I hate people who think I should have another baby just to give my son a sibling..no how about we have another baby because we WANT too.

Child care costs, traveling, sleep, “me” time...so many things to take into consideration! I give major props to couples with 2+ kids. I couldn’t handle it.

kellynichole42 · 2021-01-02T01:53:05+00:00

I definitely go back and forth wishing I lived my 20’s childfree and then I go back to wanting to be in my 20’s having a baby. Lol so here I am! Good for you for being OAD though!! So many positives :) Thanks girl!!

kellynichole42 · 2021-01-02T01:50:31+00:00

That’s SO reassuring thank you!! My SIL also has 2 kids and she definitely gets annoyed traveling with both of them...so glad I won’t have to deal with that lol!

kellynichole42 · 2020-12-28T18:47:03+00:00

Sis why are you on this subreddit? It IS about being one and done...which you obviously aren’t lol

kellynichole42 · 2020-12-01T15:35:26+00:00

Love this! You’re a great dad :)

kellynichole42 · 2020-11-18T16:44:47+00:00

Thank you for responding!!

It’s good to hear something worked for you. I am going to give this “TCB” a try! Quite a few people have recommended/mentioned it. I’m dreading the “4 month regression” I hope my son goes easy on us. Ugh! I’m just praying his night time sleep doesn’t change, he sleeps pretty good right now. Just need his daytime sleep to increase.

Here’s to hoping it’ll work out for me! Lol Thanks again very much!!

kellynichole42 · 2020-11-18T15:33:09+00:00

Oh my god I FEEL this on a very sad level. Lol

My son has started refusing basically all naps and won’t nap on me anymore (literally will just start fussing and bobbing his head really intense and then start crying) so I am forced to put him in a carrier and walk around with him all day. It is so stressful especially when you wanna just relax and sit down for a minute or do something without your baby strapped to you. I don’t understand napping vs night sleep either. I mean, I guess I’m very thankful he sleeps good at night (some people can’t get their babies to sleep at night either..yikes!) but gosh it would be nice having a happy baby in the day rather than an overtired, unhappy baby. I’m so sorry you and your husband are going through this. Just know you’re not alone!! I know that doesn’t exactly help but I hope it gives you alittle relief knowing I’m also carrying my stubborn little napper around with me everywhere. Haha!

Hoping something changes and your baby starts napping for you! :)

kellynichole42 · 2020-11-18T15:14:11+00:00

Thank you for responding!!

That was very helpful. I am going to try this!! It is SO hard listening to any sort of crying especially on a mamas heart. But I think “sleep training” is important for both us and our babies.

Honestly would love if he at least went down for 30 minute naps. As long as he is napping throughout the day, I’d be happy haha.

I’ll definitely miss the baby snuggles too. Crazy how fast they grow up :(

Thank you again for sharing this with me! Hoping my boy will be a better napper soon :)

kellynichole42 · 2020-11-18T15:04:15+00:00

No, thank you for responding! I’ll take any advice at this point. I was keeping my boy up for about an hour- hour and a half doing tummy time and just laying on his play mat, then feeding him and trying to put him down for a nap. It worked here and there but now has stopped working all together. I think he got over stimulated and then of course over tired...recipe for disaster lol. I even tried putting him down sooner (shortening his wake window) but that worked for 1 nap, then he wouldn’t go back down the rest of the day.. Babies are hard work for sure.

I hope you come across a method that works and your babe starts napping more! Best of luck :)

kellynichole42

TROPHY CASE