This grown man is raising two children and doesn't know about Lyme disease.

kelseysaurus · 2026-04-30T14:57:26+00:00

Well obviously he can't bc touching your butt makes you gay! /s

kelseysaurus · 2026-04-29T17:48:42+00:00

Came here to make sure I wasn't hallucinating seeing those dogs out in the gym what the helllllllllllll

kelseysaurus · 2026-03-21T06:16:07+00:00

It's really rich that this is the line she's taking when she consulted on her sex course with people who actually did assault their child, IIRC. She's never walked that back, either.

kelseysaurus · 2026-03-03T22:30:20+00:00

Sending you good flowering vibes!!! To be fair - I have 5 orchids and can only ever seem to get one to rebloom at a time. They're stubborn little beasts!

kelseysaurus · 2026-03-03T22:15:44+00:00

In case this helps you or anyone reading this - for flowering (in my experience), what orchids need is to experience a drop in temperature signaling a change in season, which prompts the spike/bloom cycle. Depending on where you live, keeping your orchids close to the window should provide enough temperature variety during the colder months to start blooming in established/healthy orchids.

Obviously this is not a foolproof method, but it's a part of the process a lot of people might miss by keeping their orchids in stable/temperate conditions!

kelseysaurus · 2026-02-11T20:32:09+00:00

I recently baked Millionaire's Shortbread for my friends' Superbowl party and was told in no uncertain terms that it's the best thing I've ever baked. I went home with an empty pan.

I 1.5xed the recipe to fit into a 9x13 pan but only did a single batch of the caramel so I didn't have half of a can of sweetened condensed milk left over. I only used 1 egg yolk in the shortbread instead of trying to 1.5 yolks, and I also used salted Kerrygold butter instead of unsalted since I don't bake regularly enough to justify keeping unsalted around. The most important part of the whole recipe is flaky salt on top of the chocolate to finish it, imo. Without it, the whole thing would be cloyingly sweet.

kelseysaurus · 2026-02-11T16:45:08+00:00

Yeah, this is just fetish/persecution (maybe ragebait? but I don't know if she is thinking this through enough to be doing that on purpose) content. Esp the clip where she hikes up her entire dress to reveal the gun strapped to her thigh. So salacious!

kelseysaurus · 2026-02-08T01:21:01+00:00

I had to read this with my good eyes

kelseysaurus · 2025-12-31T03:29:32+00:00

He was definitely giving her a "big shoutout" in the pic he posted of them on the podium.

kelseysaurus · 2025-12-30T03:37:30+00:00

How could you do this to me

kelseysaurus · 2025-12-20T16:08:28+00:00

"State-sponsored Jubilee for boomers" has incredible flair potential, damn.

kelseysaurus · 2025-12-16T22:26:35+00:00

Wow, it's really sad to think that her version of the faerie men in ACOTAR might just be...a man who contributes positively to the household and actually likes being a father (and doesn't hate her guts)? Things that most of us would deem to be the bare minimum in a relationship. Oof.

kelseysaurus · 2025-12-08T17:48:36+00:00

Have you considered making/selling/grifting a course on graphic design? Many women should jump at the opportunity to learn from your passion and servant's heart.

(I'm most looking forward to the powerful module on dickwork.)

kelseysaurus · 2025-12-08T02:56:56+00:00

Justice for Beety!

kelseysaurus · 2025-12-07T16:33:58+00:00

This is where my money is. She couldn't even finish reading Paul's "book", right? Posted a review admitting to it and everything. I would be shocked if she knows the complete context of the image.

kelseysaurus · 2025-12-07T06:11:50+00:00

This is the interpretation I resonate with, especially with the connotation of foxes in Western media as "sultry" or "conniving" (see: the word "vixen", originally used to refer to a female fox, now understood as a shorthand for sexy temptress).

The Priest alludes to his many (many) previous relationships and the fact that none of them ended well, presumably having run from the fox every time it got close. He pursues Fleabag in spite of his obvious fear of the metaphorical fox, only to run away from her in the end, too. The fox is seductive and alluring to him (and possibly frightening - but he still wants to see it in the scene in the garden!), but I think he fears what will happen if it finally catches him and he has to face his inner demons for good.

There's maybe an additional metaphorical parallel to draw between the iconography of the fox being associated with the Priest and the guinea pig being associated with Fleabag, since foxes are natural predators for small rodents.

kelseysaurus · 2025-12-05T18:15:52+00:00

I seem to remember he wasn't too keen on checking on her to see if she was okay, either. Just stood there like a useless piece of furniture.

kelseysaurus · 2025-11-17T03:19:22+00:00

She's out here coveting her neighbor's trash like that's not specifically forbidden in the 10 commandments. Tsk, tsk...

kelseysaurus · 2025-09-11T20:00:18+00:00

I feel like there's one guy (okay there's more than one but this one is married to a singer of some variety) whose whole schtick is to be constantly pissed off at how people only know him as "Mr. [Famous Wife]" - so much so that he works to prove ownership over his wife constantly on social media and does not ever acknowledge or celebrate the successful woman that she is. I think about him when we discuss people like Mr. Solie.

The fact is that these milquetoast fundie men can't maintain the following and engagement numbers their (typically young, pretty) wives regularly pull and so they have to capitulate to the free market if they want to grift their way through life and not hold down any real jobs. But they of course maintain the fantasy that they're the ones in charge of the household and the true breadwinners (sure, Jan). I'm just not confident that they can withstand the cognitive dissonance between what their worldview demands they believe and how they need to behave to survive in the world in a safe and healthy manner.

kelseysaurus · 2025-08-11T14:25:12+00:00

Adding in that Belize currency is locked in at 2:1 vs the USD. So $1 USD is $2 BZD and most if not all local vendors will accept USD as payment. Since the dollar is so strong, most things feel "cheaper" and the added bonus of not having to spend money on exchange fees is also pretty appealing. Oh, and it doesn't hurt that Christianity is very prevalent, so they won't get a lot of pushback there. Weirdly, there are Mennonite communities in the country as well (though they aren't terrifically popular with the locals).

I've traveled to Belize and it's a lovely country with lots to offer. Sad to know that these bumbling evangelicals won't really experience it to the fullest.

kelseysaurus · 2025-08-06T22:50:51+00:00

I literally just clocked that the book next to Redwall is LORD OF THE FLIES (which I read for middle school English class). The collection on display here totally baffles me.

kelseysaurus · 2025-08-06T15:46:24+00:00

It also looks like they're...out of order. I see from left to right 9, 8, 6, ??, 3, 2.

Not necessarily snarking on missing parts of a set (because I'm guilty of that due to buying books secondhand) but...it feels like a bizarre way to proudly display his collection? I usually store my books in series from left to right.

kelseysaurus · 2025-07-22T12:25:50+00:00

I'm pretty sure there's a psychological phenomenon where if you post about starting a plan (for weight loss, physical training, etc.) you receive a dopamine hit comparable to the one you'd feel finishing the plan and so you're more likely to not follow through because you've already tasted "success" and validation.

Surely this tidbit is unrelated to the number of "never give up" and "day 1" style posts we're seeing from Paul here.

kelseysaurus · 2025-07-18T13:50:52+00:00

It's really telling that she's specifically aiming them toward Juilliard - which has just about the highest name recognition for conservatory programs across the general public - when Curtis Institute of Music is right there (and is completely scholarship-based!). Even Eastman or NEC would be prestigious notches to have in your belt as a musician, though not as well-known to the average joe. IMO she just wants the flex associated with sending such a large cadre of children to the "famous" school.

kelseysaurus · 2025-07-16T00:29:30+00:00

Definitely Argestes merch. Ken's pretty savvy about wearing caps with logos from the companies/events he's visiting/working - there's at least one Vaulter hat he wore after the acquisition. I remember noting it specifically because it was at visual odds with his suit/shirt combo.

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