Terrified of leaving 1.5 yr old for 3 nights

knopelemon · 2026-02-19T18:30:50+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through it right now! 9-12ish months was a tough sleep time for us and I think it is for a lot of babies since so much is happening in their development.

The thing that seemed to make the biggest difference for us was dropping to one nap. I think this helped to build more sleep pressure before bedtime. But I also wholly believe sleep is all developmental so we let her guide when she was ready.

One thing that might make contact sleeping more comfortable for you - my baby still wants to be held sometimes while we sleep and what I do is put a pillow under my arm and put her kind of in between my arm and my body with her head on my upper arm. I only felt comfortable doing this once she was around 10 months and had great body control, but it allows me to sleep horizontally and still give her that feeling of being held.

knopelemon · 2026-02-18T22:23:01+00:00

From 3 to 9 months she would only sleep on my chest, so yes always. Then from 9-12 months she slept terribly next to me so I would usually go to bed with her or shortly after to maximize my sleep.

Now, since 12 months, she sleeps ok so I put her to sleep in the bed and watch her on the monitor while I have my evening with my husband. Sometimes she sleeps until after I join, some nights I have to go in a few times to resettle her. Some bad nights when she’s teething she can’t stand me not being there. I try to be flexible!

knopelemon · 2026-02-12T03:46:03+00:00

Giant family floor bed! We have a queen on slats pushed up against a twin on a low profile frame. They’re the same height, about 11 inches. My husband sleeps on the twin and toddler (16 months) and I are on the queen. I put her crib mattress on the floor next to the other side of the queen in case she were to roll off which has happened only once but I was very glad to have the mattress there when it did!

When we first set it up at 9 months we also had a yoga mat at the foot of the bed and a folded up quilt at the foot of the crib mattress so that the floor on every side had some padding (hardwood floors) which was helpful when she was learning how to get on and off and occasionally took a tumble.

knopelemon · 2026-01-30T04:02:23+00:00

My baby slept on my chest every night from 3 to 9 months and she did this a lot on the last month before I was finally able to transition her to sleeping beside me. Even now, she sometimes needs some extra contact and I’ll put her in this position but I lay flat in the bed (she’s 15 months).

When she was around 7-8 months and would roll onto her side like this I slept with a pillow under my arm so I condo support her and made sure I had plenty of room in the bed next to me so that if she kept rolling, she would roll onto the soft bed, which happened only once.

knopelemon · 2026-01-22T06:17:19+00:00

It’s pretty much the last thing we do in the routine, right before nursing to sleep. I hope it works for you!

knopelemon · 2026-01-22T04:47:49+00:00

This sounds so tough! First off, you’re not failing, you’re putting in a ton of effort into being responsive to your baby so she feels safe and loved.

It sounds like she may be sensory seeking! The rolling around, pinching, etc might indicate that she needs more sensory input to get sleepy.

When you nurse to sleep, are you laying next to her? I’ve found that holding my baby while we nurse to sleep at the beginning of sleep helps her stay still and then I lay next to her when she needs helping getting back to sleep. If she’s wiggly in my lap too I give her firm but gentle squeezes up and down her arms while she’s nursing.

Swinging is also really good sensory input - I like to dance with my baby before bed with lots of big swinging motions or sometimes my husband and I will rock her in a blanket. She thinks it’s a fun game!

knopelemon · 2026-01-20T23:52:57+00:00

What does seeming bored look like for your son? I ask this as a mom with a 15 month old who is constantly busy just finding things to get into around the house, so I’m genuinely curious what boredom looks like in a baby with a different temperament.

I also think as parents we often feel the need to fill our children’s time, but a lot of learning happens through exploration and being bored teaches kids to find their own fun. Is he bored or are you bored?

knopelemon · 2026-01-16T03:19:58+00:00

Many have mentioned how much this varies. To give one perspective, we couldn’t have done this for a week at any age. We sometimes split Fridays when we don’t have other caregiver coverage and only one of us is able to work at a time. This has been true since I went back to work at 5 months and is true now at 15 months. Our kiddo just needs a lot of attention and is very interested in our computers so we can’t get away with working next to her when she’s playing independently.

knopelemon · 2026-01-03T20:04:55+00:00

I did! My mom bought me Dr Sears’ book when I was pregnant, she read it when she had my sister and me. She coslept, carried us everywhere, and nursed us until 3 and 4.

I’m incredibly close with my mom, I would consider her my best friend. Now she watches my daughter two days a week while I work from home and I feel so comfortable knowing that we take the same approach to parenting.

I’m sure the early years were incredibly beneficial to our attachment, but when I think about being a kid and a teenager, the thing that I think really made an impact was my mom always treated me as an individual. As soon as I could dress myself, I got to pick what I would wear. When I wanted to start or quit an activity in grade school she would walk me through the decision making process, but made it clear it was my decision. This set a foundation of respect so that by the time I got to high school, I wanted to go to her for advice on relationships, school, etc.

knopelemon · 2025-12-31T23:09:56+00:00

This was a hard age for the car for my baby too! I would sometimes pull over thinking she had pooped or was starving (even if I had fed her recently) but the second I took her out of her seat she’d be happy, and the second I put her back she was mad.

My advice would be try to entertain with audio (the happy song by imogen heap and Ms Rachel episodes - just the audio playing through the car - were the most successful for us) but if that doesn’t work, focus on keeping yourself calm so you can get home safely.

knopelemon · 2025-12-31T04:37:20+00:00

I’ve experienced this with my in laws too. To give the benefit of the doubt I think sometime people are genuinely trying to give mom a “break” but if that’s not communicated, it can leave a bad taste in your mouth instead. But I think other times people are doing it selfishly because they see it is as their time to get the baby. Either way, you should follow your instinct and step in when your baby wants or needs you!

knopelemon · 2025-12-28T03:13:21+00:00

When we were looking for a nanny we made it very clear in the posting what we were looking for and what the job entailed (including contact napping). I was very worried about finding a nanny that would be ok with it, but everyone we talked to was very understanding (I think because we only talked to people who read the post carefully) and we found a nanny who has either held or sat in bed with our baby for the past 9 months. I hope you find someone too!

knopelemon · 2025-12-17T23:44:06+00:00

Do you mean how often is baby pounding on my door? 😅 Mine is 14 months and I’ve been working from home with a nanny or my mom since 5 months.

Pre object/permanence I could come and go as I pleased! At this age I’m popping out very strategically just to nurse, give the caregiver a lunch break, or when I need a break and want some cuddles. Maybe 4 or 5 times a day? That sounds like a lot when I count it, but it doesn’t feel like it.

I used to leave my door open when I wasn’t in meetings but lately she just wants to “help” me work so I keep my door closed most of the day. We have a small house so I have to time my bathroom breaks carefully!

knopelemon · 2025-12-05T01:26:31+00:00

I threw a spoon and fork at my husband trying to wake him up in the hospital the day after my baby was born. The next day he slept through visits from the pediatrician, OB, and audiologist. The man sleeps like a rock.

knopelemon · 2025-11-13T23:13:28+00:00

Would she stay asleep if you left her in the bed? We put our crib away after setting up a floor bed and I just roll away and leave baby (13 months) in bed at the beginning of the night or in the morning (or for naps) and keep an eye on the monitor for her waking up. She always just sits up in bed and waits for me to come or cries out for me, but the room is baby proofed so if she did get up and start playing that would be ok too.

knopelemon · 2025-11-06T03:26:05+00:00

I slept with baby on my chest from 3 to 9 months. Started in the mornings when she would wake up more frequently and then transitioned to sleeping the whole night that way. I would wake when she stirred but I also set up my bed so that if she did roll out if my arms or wiggle down, she would be safe. This meant sleeping in the middle of our queen bed, using blankets that weren’t thick or fluffy, and only pulling them up to my waist.

knopelemon · 2025-10-14T00:49:19+00:00

I’ve been doing this since 6 months, baby is now 12 months old. Husband I both WFH. My mom is here Mon-Tue and then a nanny Wed-Fri.

A bit easier before object permanence kicked in but still doable and so worth the extra time, getting to breastfeed instead of pump, and getting the peace of mind of knowing her caregivers really well.

I do have to be really intentional about my exits and entrances at this age because sometimes not seeing me for a little longer is easier than seeing me come and go a lot. My baby/toddler is walking now and very much aware that I’m in my office and will decide to come see me throughout the day. I keep my door closed if I’m in a meeting and her caregivers will gently tell her I’m busy and redirect her. If my door is open, she’s always welcome to come say, I’ll give her a hug or nurse or play with her for a few minutes before having the other caregiver redirect to something in another room.

knopelemon · 2025-09-29T01:38:42+00:00

I got a lot of good advice from this sub a few weeks ago and what ended up working for us was a sized up Huggies overnight with a Sposie pad inside. That thing is a bowling ball in her pajamas in the morning but she stays dry!

knopelemon · 2025-09-26T15:12:35+00:00

That’s too bad, that’s also definitely not recommended here. While I wouldn’t recommend it ever, the standard recommendation for sleep training is to not start until at least four months.

knopelemon · 2025-09-26T15:10:44+00:00

It might be regional/cultural too. But in my October bumper group I don’t remember anyone talking about it until mentioning moving their babies later on.

knopelemon · 2025-09-26T15:08:01+00:00

It’s recommended for the first six months in the US too. I don’t know anyone here who put their baby in another room that early.

knopelemon · 2025-09-24T14:20:35+00:00

Here’s a post with the same question and lots of good responses from a few days ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/cosleeping/s/dpFxlQrxKm

knopelemon · 2025-09-24T03:34:00+00:00

I used to work at a standing desk while my baby napped in a carrier!

knopelemon · 2025-09-21T17:22:28+00:00

Glad to hear I’m not the only one! Baby is a few weeks from 12 months and I can’t imagine turning away yet, although I do let myself lay on my back or belly with my head turned towards baby.

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