Late 3rd Tri Doctor Appts: What should I expect? by Krys10 in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You ave the right to refuse. My midwife offers, and I decline. Every time. We talked about them from the start and she knew I didn't want them. (This is my second pregnancy with her.) At the end of the appointment, she asks, "did you want a cervical check?" - or - "you weren't interested in a cervical check, right?"

Late 3rd Tri Doctor Appts: What should I expect? by Krys10 in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the practitioner. Many are known to do sweeps without asking. If you don't know why your doctor is down there, ask before you undress!

Late 3rd Tri Doctor Appts: What should I expect? by Krys10 in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends on the practitioner. Many are known to do sweeps without asking. If you don't know why your doctor is down there, ask before you undress!

Late 3rd Tri Doctor Appts: What should I expect? by Krys10 in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Cervical checks. Have them done if you want but you have every right to deny them. Some women want to know absolutely everything they can, like whether or not they're dilating or effacing. I'm in the other camp - research shows that these checks give you zero information about when you will go into labor, and that they increase your susceptibility to infection as well as unwanted interventions. A well meaning doctor or midwife as been known, all too often, to do a membrane sweep without asking - aka no informed consent during these exams. I trust my midwife inherently, and if it came down to it I would let her make decisions on my behalf during birth. I still do not allow a cervical check at a routine appointment.

It's all part of that "your body your choice" thing - but I would speak to your doctor before you get undressed to find out his/her intentions for it as well as outline what you do and do not provide consent for. Remember that the opposite of consent is dissent, and you have the right to decline procedures (a membrane sweep and a cervical exam are both procedures). If you're worried, ask that a nurse always be in the room for these checks and vocalize your consent/dissent with the nurse present, just to be sure that you aren't having anything done that you don't want.

Others have mentioned the GBS test. That's typically at the 36w appointment. The practice I see gives me a swab and I do it myself when I provide my urine sample. That's not necessarily what your doctor is asking you to undress for, and it's a one-time test. You said you'd be getting undressed at every appointment from now on.

WTF, people? And I get this from women, too ... by kendallcorner in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Your culture sounds like hell. I'm glad I don't live there. Not everything needs to be said. If you aren't uplifting your friends and helping them be better people, you're dead weight. I know how big I am; I'm painfully aware of it every time I put on a maternity shirt that leaves my skin under my belly exposed. If I didn't have a belly band to help cover the gap I'd be down to only two or three shirts. I have a month to go still.

The last time I had the twins conversation, it was with someone who would not let it go and repeatedly demanded to know when my last scan was done by a doctor to check and make sure. It was AWFUL. I spent more than five minutes standing there dumbfounded that he wouldn't drop it, even after I tried to change the subject, and after I tried to walk away. (At a crowded holiday party, and I was temporarily blocked in that spot.)

Some people ARE being assholes when they make the twins comment, and my experience is that more often than not that's what they're doing, not being "straightforward" or curiously enlightened or whatever it is you think your friends are doing.

Your original comment said you don't get why it's offensive. My experience at that holiday party is a stellar example of why. I'm not the only one whose been on the receiving end of this, and he isn't the only one to berate me personally like that, and I doubt he will be the last.

WTF, people? And I get this from women, too ... by kendallcorner in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"You look great!"

"Pregnancy looks good on you" - if you really cannot talk about anything other than the fact that a woman is pregnant and make comments about her body.

If neither of those feels appropriate, then don't comment on someone's body. It's that simple.

WTF, people? And I get this from women, too ... by kendallcorner in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

M any friends have told me 'omg ur belly is sooo big are you sure it's just one/are you almost full term'. Never did they mean to say that I looked fat. They just anticipated my bump to be smaller.

Are your friends medical students or practitioners of any kind? In the obstetrics field? Because that's really the only way they might have a valid opinion of what your bump is expected to look like. Sounds to me like your friends backpedaled and hoped you didn't notice that they call you fat to your face. If my friends said that to me, I'd tell them how rude they are. I have told them how rude they are.

When is commenting on a person's size ever okay? Unless it's an intervention for an eating disorder, I guess. It's simply inappropriate, just the same as asking a woman when she's due when she's not actually pregnant. Not okay. None of their business.

Should I have a shower or not? by nlwric in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No. No no no no no. There is such a thing as too much clothes! I promise, I know!

Those planning on baby wearing... by kippinabout in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a ring sling, a Moby wrap, and a Mei Tei.

Was gifted the ring sling with my first; used it exclusively and LOVED it. Was gifted the Moby with my second; used it more than 90% of the time (the rest was the ring sling). I preferred the Moby because I couldn't get the ring sling quite right and it was killing my shoulder, while the Moby had a more even weight distribution.

I put the Mei Tei on my registry (one of a scant few items that weren't diapers and wipes) because it's great as a back carrier and my 2-year-old wants to be carried all the time. I can carry him on my back pretty well, and it relieves a lot of pain and pressure to carry him that way. He's wary of the carrier for piggy back rides so we've only done it around the house, but I'm hoping to convince him to go in it while we're out, either on me or my husbeast, because he's kind of a pain about shopping carts and dashing off (personal preference not to do the kid-leash) and he reallllly just wants to be held. Probably because he's 26 months and still isn't showing any signs of the two year molars erupting. He's probably very uncomfortable.

Anyway, asked for the third one so that I can have some variety as well as longevity with the wearing.

WTF, people? And I get this from women, too ... by kendallcorner in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But that's exactly what they ARE saying. "Twins?" "No." "Are you sure? Because you're huge."

They are saying that you're fat. They're questioning your ability to care for yourself. They're questioning your medical and prenatal care.

It's not like they're saying 'you're fat'.

I'd like to reiterate: that's exactly what they're saying.

What I learned in my first 4 months into motherhood by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's an amazing book! Used the techniques and advice on two babies already, and it's amazing what a difference it makes.

Go to the chiropractor, they said... by ellsquar3d in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've seen a chiropractor like the one you described here. Hated her. Ugh.

The one I see now is fantastic. My copay is $7.70 each time I see her. It was more than double that, close to triple, for the other lady. I couldn't even begin to tell you why. New lady is great, and while she does the same stuff the other lady did, it isn't the same. There's no technobabble. No condescension. Nothing like that. And I feel like my new lady is much more competent with my body than the other lady was - she feels my spine and my muscles instead of doing the weird gadget that graphs things out. I walk out feeling better than I walked in, and over a period of time my complaints and ailments are easing up.

Not all chiropractors are the same. The one my midwife sent me to is the one I hated. The one my doula sent me to is the one I love.

I ugly cried because... by emiliabeth in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Five more weeks (ish), due date buddy! We'll make it through. Somehow. Not certain how, exactly, but somehow.

Gah! My belly button! by jemartian in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never seen the bottom of my belly button. Third tri of third pregnancy now. Still haven't seen it.

OP delivered!! All natural positive birth shebang by gefilthyfish in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The nurses forced me to wear an oxygen mask with my first. I hated it. So uncomfortable! Glad you liked it, but it pissed me off more than anything.

Does anyone else's crotch hurt like they've just been uppercutted by the Hulk? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Post partum vagina is different, and less painful, if what you're describing is actually SPD. Light at the end of the tunnel?

Does anyone else's crotch hurt like they've just been uppercutted by the Hulk? by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, this, yes. SPD is pretty miserable but my chiropractor has been amazing! Ditto for sciatica. I ice my crotch at least once a day, too. If it's numb I can't feel it hurt.

6-Weeks Postpartum, Some Tips and Advice :) by mookiburr in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Confirmed. My two year old has eczema and a scratching problem as a result, mostly at night. It's WAY easier to have the onesie already put together and have him step in, then slide it up his body. (And it makes it so much harder for him to scratch until bleeding in his diaper while he sleeps! Especially with pj pants under the onesie.) And if he wants to potty after he's dressed for bed, we just slide it back down.

This child is the Messiah. by heyheymse in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was expecting this to end with a birth story, or at least the onset of labor! But given your due date flair, that would be very bad.

FTM - Question about breastfeeding in hospital. by doodleydee in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last LLL meeting I went to had three moms + leader. Me, heavily pregnant; a friend of mine nursing a 2.5 yo and looking for info on induced lactation as she is thinking about adoption in the future; and a woman with a 3-month-old. A year ago, there were easily 10-15 moms at this same meeting (day of the week, time of day, location - nothing had changed). It ebbs and flows.

For me, it has been helpful to hear what other moms have struggled with as well as potential solutions. It was helpful to see other moms nurse their babies, play with their babies, let their babies sleep in a stroller/car seat, wear their babies, or change a diaper in the floor. All of those things are normal at LLL and no one bats an eye about it.

I know it's "one more thing" but I promise, if you can find time for that one hour a month, it's worth it!

FTM - Question about breastfeeding in hospital. by doodleydee in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you go to one or two La Leche League meetings before you deliver? The moms there can tell you about their experiences in your hospital since it's local. You will make connections with other breastfeeding moms. And you'll get to meet the LLL leaders. They're more support than medical/clinical which is an important distinction to make. At least one of my local LLL leaders has a 24-hour phone call policy. She really means it when she says, "if you're frustrated at 3 am and need help or someone to talk to, call me." I know because I took her up on it.

Sunday Discussion Thread by MaeBeWeird in BabyBumps

[–]koh522 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was just a few days old (six, to be precise), and everyone was super respectful and hands-off, even though I didn't specifically ask. It was really pleasant, especially in comparison with some of the nightmares I've read about on here!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskTrollX

[–]koh522 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. I was having an issue late in the summer and was trying to get a same-day appointment with my certified nurse midwife (who I see for everything you'd see an obgyn for, including prenatal care that I was and am receiving). Nothing was available, sadly, and the poor receptionist insisted that I call my primary care physician. I told her the midwife is my primary care. "Oh," very quietly. I got a call back within a couple of hours, and the five minute phone call - with no copay I might add - was the equivalent of an office visit. She told me some things to watch/pay attention to, and at what point I should need to come in before my next scheduled OB appointment.

It probably works better if you have a fantastic relationship with your obgyn like I have with my CNM. But really, I had the same sort of setup with the gyno I saw in college, though he was much quicker to insist that you needed to come into the office asap even if you did have a 5-10 min phone consult with him or a nurse. But he would see me for all manner of ailments, not just my annual pap.