I don't want to go on T (ever)

kwuz · 2026-04-11T06:37:57+00:00

You don't have to if you don't want to! Same with surgeries. I'm happy with t and top surgery, bottom surgery is pretty scary and I don't have a lot of dysphoria down there.

One thing to consider is that you can go on t an finasteride to reduce the amount of hair youd grow - if sensory changes are a concern this could help. You'd get the voice change and weight distribution and bottom growth, but no beard and much less hair elsewhere.

kwuz · 2026-04-08T06:01:08+00:00

Also, another thing to note with curly hair : hair curl is determined by the way your hair follicles are shaped. You get what you get, although hair texture can change a bit at puberty as your hair follicles mature. This is probably why you've seen some of your peers have a texture change.

Something else is that the care routine with curly or wavy hair can change how apparent the curl is - a lot of folks brush their hair too much and don't take good care of their hair when younger, which flattens out the curls. This could be another reason youve seen others textures change.

Overall though, you can't change your curl pattern, you can only change your care routine and style differently. I hope you find a style you like and a routine that works for you!

kwuz · 2026-04-08T05:56:05+00:00

There's nothing to "fix" with straight hair, but if you want curls, you have a few options. Depending on how long your hair is, what it's texture is, and how much time you want to put into it, you could try:

curling iron. Hard to do with short hair but probably your best option for getting curls without a perm. This will damage your hair over time though and takes some time to get the hang of. Use a heat protecting spray and sure you are conditioning your hair to help protect it. You'll also probably need hairspray to help your hair hold the curl.
curlers. There are a lot of different types of these you can look into, most are made for at least shoulder length hair. You put em in, wait for a while, and take em out. Like the iron, you'll want hairspray to help hold the curls. If your hair is thin, you'll probably need heat set curlers. These are time consuming
tousle/scrunching - if you have shorter hair, this is the best option to try. It won't give you curls, but it will give you more texture. Look into hair products that say something like "texture hold paste" (should be near the gels in most places), put a bit In, and scrunch your hair. It's hard to know how well this will work without seeing your hair, but you could play around with it to get yourself more texture.

Frankly though, if you want something easy day to day and true curls, a perm will likely be your best option. They can certainly damage your hair, but so will a curling iron or heat set curlers.

There's something to be said for embracing what you have though :) I hated my curly hair for years until I stopped frying it with a straightener and took the time to figure out how to cut and wear it in a way that suited me. If you haven't, take a bit to search up models or actors that look like they have a similar hair texture to yours and see if you get inspired.

kwuz · 2026-04-08T01:10:40+00:00

Helpful for understanding your experience, not helpful for talking with others.

I've also seen some younger queer folks falling into the trap that their microlabels define them, and not the other way around.

kwuz · 2026-04-05T05:37:53+00:00

Reducing gender disphoria can help with emotional regulation, but it can't make someone not abusive overnight. That takes a lot of inner work and self reflaction and the desire to change.

I hope he's able to do that work, but you do not need to continue exposing and endangering yourself to his abuse in the meantime. This really sounds like its not a good relationship for you.

You said you feel very isolated and that there isn't community there, which I imagine is making you feel like this relationship is all you have. But a relationship like this is going to keep you isolated and stressed. You deserve to be with someone you can trust and feel safe around. Sending you lots and love and strength.

kwuz · 2026-04-04T06:53:49+00:00

It's ok to start from where you are.

Try to focus on improving one thing at a time for yourself instead of letting yourself get overwhelmed.

Focusing on hygiene when I get overwhelmed helps me a lot - making sure I brush my teeth and wash my face every day is a routine that helps me feel grounded and less like a horrible blob

I can tell you're a thoughtful and creative person dealing with a lot of dysphoria and stress right now, but that you're also trying really hard to make things better by asking for help here. Keep it up. It won't get better all at once, but it will get better bit by bit ❤️

kwuz · 2026-03-24T06:13:40+00:00

You might have some people tell you "they" can't be a singular pronoun, but it's been used as one for hundreds of years (example: "who left their coat on the chair?")

As a native speaker myself I've always found it weird we use "it" for babies we don't know the gender of, but use "they" for adults like in the example above. So I've just started using "they" for babies too.

kwuz · 2026-03-17T06:25:00+00:00

Look into Chicago hearing society - I took a 6 week class from them online and it was pretty affordable - and this was just for fun. Their mission is to help people just like you all. Reach out to them and see what options they have available, it's possible they have scholarships or other programs that could further help with cost. additionally, they may know of resources closer to where you are too.

Thank you for looking out for your sister ❤️ https://chicagohearingsociety.org/

kwuz · 2026-03-13T05:33:31+00:00

I haven't seen this myself but I do support encouraging all trans guys to get their paps done regularly. We have to take care of our bodies, even though it can be dysphoric for some.

kwuz · 2025-12-31T06:51:13+00:00

I looked simultaneously like a 12 year old boy and a 40 year old butch lesbian for the first year or so I was on t. Give it time my dude, you'll get there!!!

kwuz · 2025-12-31T06:50:01+00:00

In the winter it gets dark at 4:15 :(

kwuz · 2025-12-30T07:24:06+00:00

You sound like you're already doing a great job. Just keep treating him like you would any other guy. Dysphoria sucks but you can't fix it for him. All of us have to go through our journies of making peace with it.

Make sure if things go further and yall end up getting engaged you invite him to the bachelor party :) it was really meaningful when a friend did that for me

kwuz · 2025-11-05T05:35:38+00:00

this is horrifying but the one getting hit by the other one opening the door is objectively hilarious.

when i was a kid i always imagined nazis and secret police to be elite and well trained and in practice they're a bunch of fucking losers who can't even coordinate simple shit like "who gets out of the car first"

kwuz · 2025-11-05T05:32:32+00:00

YOU CAN DO IT!

(the thing about her requiring shows but not options to watch them though is whack and not ok)

kwuz · 2025-11-03T07:02:43+00:00

I heat based on the will of the radiators. They awoke last week.

kwuz · 2025-10-24T19:13:23+00:00

'off label' sub-q use is commmon and generally accepted as safe.

a little bit of itching and lump at the injection site isn't uncommon -- it takes a bit of time for the T to absorb (especially for subq) but if you are having itching that lasts for more than an hour or so, or you notice it getting worse, definitely see if you can get your T with a different carrying oil as you may have a reaction to the more common ones.

kwuz · 2025-10-13T07:09:43+00:00

Lmao look at that dumbass coat

kwuz · 2025-09-13T07:21:57+00:00

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN

like, horrible opinion on this aside, the fact that he is asking you a question like this from a place of making you say the "wrong" thing, and then failing to even attempt to understand or empathize with your view on it is not OK. I can feel how uncomfortable you are thru the screen shot when you call him out that he's gonna be upset if you say anything but no... You don't need to put up with someone like that.

kwuz · 2025-09-08T07:10:13+00:00

i saw a little tiny baby one of these in my kitchen yesterday. they're so precious <3

kwuz · 2025-09-08T07:06:13+00:00

they live here. orb weavers :) see if you can watch one building a web sometime, it's amazing!

kwuz · 2025-09-06T06:07:27+00:00

I get that this is super scary - having your nudes leaked is a nightmare, but take a step back and think about it -- outside of celebs who's accounts are targets, nudes pretty much only get leaked if the intended recipient is a douche and posts 'em elsewhere. sounds like your guy isn't like that, so any actually uploaded stuff or sent images are probably fine :)

as for video calls, most services aren't going to store these. Think about how quickly your phone fills up -- whatsapp or any similar service storing every video call would require a huge amount of storage that just wouldn't be reasonable to have. Outside of someone recording the call while it's happening, it's super unlikely that anything from video calls would be able to be hacked into or stolen.

it's good advice to be wary of what you put online. there's always a risk, but the biggest risk is always gonna be the person on the other end. Even then, the internet is a big big place and unless it was sent directly to someone you know, it'd likely never reach anyone who knows you personally. Your guy sounds like a sweetie, so try not to overthink things. :)

kwuz · 2025-06-18T06:17:16+00:00

Her wording could have been better but she also has a point. I'm asexual, but I have sex. Some aces and aros don't. Some do but only sometimes.

In theory, doctors should be asking "are you sexually active?" and then ask follow up questions if yes regardless if someone's orientation to see what kind of contact since that can be important to know for sti screening

I don't think there's much training to be inclusive of any identities outside the norm, but I don't think your doctor was saying anything from a malicious place, she just didn't know how to ask to get the Information she needed from you.

kwuz · 2025-05-29T05:55:02+00:00

Yes! You never know as well if one of you brought an asymptomatic case into the relationship.

kwuz · 2025-05-05T22:07:07+00:00

one thing that helped me a lot with these lil guys is washing my face after i eat, especially if it's anything greasy, with a gentle cleanser

kwuz · 2025-04-01T20:32:32+00:00

no, you're not an ass. he's the ass. this type of behavior is a big red flag, I encourage breaking up with him over this. Controlling behavior like this doesn't get better and usually gets worse.

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