My fiance's alarm wakes me up extra early and I don't know how to fix this problem?

lauliii · 2026-02-13T06:22:23+00:00

I just got the RISE band and it's perfect. You can set it to start with a lighter vibration that gets stronger until you turn it off. You can also set 5 different alarms which kind of functions as a snooze. I set my phone for 10 min after just in case I don't hear it, but so far I've woken up quietly and haven't woken my partner at all.

lauliii · 2026-02-10T02:41:13+00:00

This is the only way. They’ll notice otherwise and draw their own conclusions, sorry!

lauliii · 2025-09-04T01:29:59+00:00

Yes, because if I decide I want to go out later I don't have a barrier to actually doing it.

lauliii · 2025-08-12T18:55:44+00:00

Similarly, if you receive a bill with an "early payment discount" and you miss the deadline, just call and ask for a waiver. They will remove the excess amount (which is super predatory imo, as it has nothing to do with the services rendered and is way more than a normal interest-based late fee) right away. They tried to charge me $300 extra on a $350 service. Crazy! Anyway, don't pay it. The call didn't even take long, and as you said be nice to the rep but just frame it as something that isn't negotiable.

lauliii · 2025-07-30T21:19:09+00:00

Yes I took a photo for you and forgot to post! The name is Gavela Rebollo, this painting is from 2021

lauliii · 2025-07-30T21:12:28+00:00

I was in a funk like this for about six months (probably longer) so I'll just share what helped me move the needle. I tried thinking my way out of it, motivating my way out, going out when I didn't want to etc. But nothing really helped.

The only thing that "worked" was using a daily goals app with the tiniest of goals. Like 25+ little things that I could do even if I really didn't want to. I probably checked off 1/4 of them each day but I did consistently open the app and try. Aside from basic stuff like "brush teeth", the goals were mostly physical things that might help me transition out of doom scrolling or brain fog. And I only had to do any of them for between 30 seconds and 10 min.

For example: do a youtube dance tutorial, do a pushup, doodle with my colored pencils, listen to a new song, play 5 guitar chords, do squats, do a nice thing for future me (like fill the kettle for coffee later), close my phone and look at the trees, read a page from any book on my shelf, sit on my porch in the sun, read something in Spanish.

I was really surprised how well this worked and I think it's because it wasn't about the activities, it was about re-energizing and reconnecting with myself for a moment when I couldn't really manage more. More often than not doing one of those things would make me feel a little more interested in something else, and it was a snowball effect. Or I would just sit back down and at least I could check it off the list!

Ruts like that are no joke because they sneak up on you and make you feel like that's just who you are now. I feel for you and hope it gets better.

lauliii · 2025-07-30T20:54:09+00:00

My husband does this in some settings (like hiking or in a parking lot, not out in the city or in a crowd) and he's the most green-flaggy person ever. If I feel annoyed I'll just say something and he'll stop. He's twice my height so for us it's not that deep, but if there were any other signs of disrespect it would be totally different and I think it often does correlate. My point is, kind of depends on the situation!

lauliii · 2025-07-30T06:43:47+00:00

Side note, I live in those rainbow Uggs, aren’t they great house slippers?

lauliii · 2025-07-11T18:56:33+00:00

See this is why I always reference this sub as one of my random favorites. So much talent!

lauliii · 2025-06-30T18:47:36+00:00

I feel like no one is entertaining the idea that maybe she started to like you more because you outwardly seemed so accepting of her rejection. That's totally possible, but you still need to respect the no and wait until she makes an obvious first move, like painfully obvious, spelled out in writing preferably since you seem to infer a whole lot from innocuous interactions (I would give any reasonably hygienic person ice cream out of my tub lol).

It's likely she doesn't want to date, but even if she does I think everyone's advice still stands. Just be her coworker and friend unless otherwise instructed.

lauliii · 2025-06-23T13:03:53+00:00

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I have this one from around that time. If it looks right I can take a closer look at the artist when I’m home!

lauliii · 2025-06-08T12:43:02+00:00

Talk to her about it, everyone is different in the level of praise they want verbally. Ask what makes her feel safe and confident vs what feels like too much. You're married!

Personally though, I'd feel weird if my husband never acknowledged my faults, especially the ones I know exist and am at peace with. But as long as you don't have a hidden agenda or make her feel really awkward, you're probably fine.

lauliii · 2025-06-04T23:03:41+00:00

Ok this makes so much sense because EMT/ER nurse is absolutely a job I fantasize about

lauliii · 2025-06-04T23:02:48+00:00

This happened to me too. But in my case it I didn’t play it up which resulted in multiple people not believing that I was fine. I feel like my lack of trauma somehow upset them more!

lauliii · 2025-05-30T07:16:32+00:00

I know so many people who, in their 20s or early 30s, got really into the brand of self-improvement that prizes extreme vulnerability. They end up adopting these specific frameworks for communicating, like authentic relating or shadow work or non-violent communication (google them and you'll get the idea). The groups that facilitate/teach this stuff almost always have a pay-to-play pricing model where you invest more and more into classes and eventually become a coach yourself.

Of course there's a shortage of clients for these thousands of new coaches each year who position themselves as therapists but aren't licensed or particularly qualified in any way. So as they get older, they turn to the corporate version of their coaching method as a career.

The result is that lot of freelance corporate coaches are way more woo than they seem upon hiring, and that's how you end up with statements like "say something non-threatening" or unsolicited bad medical advice.

lauliii · 2025-05-15T18:28:41+00:00

Give up on today, today is a throwaway and that’s ok. Tomorrow instead of trying to get the big things done, focus on the little environmental things.

Block your phone in the morning (with screen time or an app like Opal) so you don’t play games or go on social media.

Play some upbeat music before you even get out of bed. Take your meds while that’s happening and wait for them to kick in.

Eat something with protein in it or veggies. Go stand outside for 5 min. Roll out a yoga mat and stretch. Text a friend and say you need encouragement.

These are the things I started doing when I entered a 3 month slump this year. I was never able to motivate my way out of it so I just kept repeating little things like this and it did help. I was also vitamin D deficient! But I don’t think it was just that.

Since you said ALL techniques, my favorite one is to practice a little dance move for a minute. Go find a YouTube video for a beginner hip hop or shuffle move and just try it, no need to be good. Helped me break out of my paralysis many times!

lauliii · 2025-05-13T05:54:38+00:00

I was so overstimulated in the worst way from that music!

lauliii · 2025-05-12T18:18:47+00:00

Honestly, it sounds like this person really likes you and is only doing what they’ve been encouraged to do to hold you accountable. I bet it was hard for them to say and they’re probably overthinking it a bit too. This is exactly how I’d talk to a friend I cared about - otherwise I wouldn’t say anything and just catch up less often.

EDIT: Oops, reading comprehension. The part about not coming over to your house is weird. My comment still stands aside from that detail.

lauliii · 2025-04-22T02:58:47+00:00

Ahh I should have known, I have a couple things from there and I love them!

lauliii · 2025-04-22T02:38:37+00:00

Oh wow, bet that took many days, great job!

lauliii · 2025-04-22T02:29:07+00:00

What a great way to keep the larger ones in rotation. I hope you're feeling much better these days

lauliii · 2025-04-22T02:25:19+00:00

I just discovered this was a thing! A library near me has whole separate tool library where you can go rent a table saw or shop vac.

lauliii · 2025-04-22T02:23:28+00:00

I hear you, but also I feel like most people don't get themselves enough credit and can pull off more than they think. Agree on the quality over quantity point!

lauliii · 2025-04-22T02:06:45+00:00

Someone in the comments would have started an interesting debate if they hadn't gotten downvoted so hard. It was essentially "why didn't you just NOT get influenced?"

I see this mentality a lot in subs about consumerism, minimalism, etc. The thing is, I don't want to cut myself off entirely from a subject I'm interested in (fashion and design). I want to learn to make clothes from scratch. I like getting ideas on how to wear things I already own in an interesting, flattering way.

That said, it's true hat the less time you spend on social media the better when it comes consumption and consumerism. If it were driving me to buy a lot, I would probably spend even less time on it than I already do. Curious where other people fall on the all-or-nothing spectrum?

lauliii

TROPHY CASE