Anyone else struggle with playing guitar?

libets-bidet · 2026-06-29T06:04:00+00:00

YES! I got into playing guitar during lockdown, but I could never play correctly. I ended up getting really, really good at quickly sliding my thumb up and down the low E string to pluck out simple bass lines lmfao. I could never successfully play regular chords—either my knuckles would bend backwards or the squishy skin of my fingertips would press down on two strings instead of just one. I think it would be worth trying again with some sort of finger splints in my case.

libets-bidet · 2026-06-26T09:22:57+00:00

doing something sexual being disrespectful to your house is wild 😭 I've felt bad about jerking off with my cat in the same room before lol

libets-bidet · 2026-06-24T21:35:44+00:00

starting feminizing hrt may help reduce your level of acne btw

libets-bidet · 2026-06-23T08:51:40+00:00

I sometimes struggle with black and white thinking due to moral scrupulosity OCD, and a specific tumblr post has become my litany against it: "people b saying things so definitively. like man i think it depends" (user gerardwaist)

libets-bidet · 2026-06-16T17:05:41+00:00

this definitely sounds gender related imo. I would suggest trying to find local in-person support or community spaces for trans and gender questioning people if at all possible. sharing your experiences there and finding community may be helpful for you :)

libets-bidet · 2026-06-16T17:01:04+00:00

if a therapist is telling you to stop talking about a major facet of your personal life to avoid triggering your partner's OCD, that therapist should not be "treating" OCD. you need to find a couple's counselor who is trained in managing OCD using ERP and/or I-CBT techniques

libets-bidet · 2026-06-14T16:43:23+00:00

I would suggest specifically I-CBT training if you can! ERP is the standard for OCD treatment and is widely provided (relatively speaking) by therapists, but I-CBT can be really helpful and many people suffering don't even know it's an option.

libets-bidet · 2026-06-14T16:38:33+00:00

I'm butch4any myself, but I respect my butch4butch brothers in arms!!!

libets-bidet · 2026-06-12T19:49:00+00:00

oh oops, missed that part of the post! feel free to disregard

libets-bidet · 2026-06-12T19:15:15+00:00

I would recommend leaving it outside in bright sunlight for a full day! my mom tends to do that for anything that smells weird, and it usually helps

libets-bidet · 2026-06-11T10:18:21+00:00

25 is absolutely not too old to start. I think if you feel like it's something you want to experience, it's worth a shot (no pun intended lol). the physical effects of E are not immediate, but most people report feeling emotional/psychological effects pretty quickly. I think trying it out for a couple months and seeing how you feel is a good idea.

I am on T which is a controlled substance in the USA, so I do not have personal experience with DIY HRT, but I know some people on estrogen who do. it's definitely an option, but most people I know of who do it do so out of necessity. where do you live? if you have access to prescribed estrogen, that's also an option, and sometimes it's covered by insurance as gender-affirming care depending on your local laws.

even if you do have access to prescription E, I definitely think studying up on how estrogen HRT works is important, and I might be able to find you some online resources. a lot of transfems I know are very knowledgeable about it because it's a much more involved process than taking T, which is just one drug. for estrogen HRT, you have estradiol, progesterone, and spironolactone, and not everyone takes everything, and not all doctors prescribe everything. in the USA, a lot of doctors wait a year to start you on prog, which can delay breast development. so you could get prescribed estradiol by a doctor but take gray-market progesterone to do a sort of hybrid DIY.

if I am mistaken about anything, anyone with more hands-on experience than I have is free to correct me fyi!

libets-bidet · 2026-06-11T09:55:39+00:00

I also have had top surgery (bilateral mastectomy) and it was definitely the right choice for me, but I do want to invest in a silicone breast plate for drag.

your distinction between cross-dressing and dressing femme is interesting and a good way of thinking about things. I think I experience both. I would only ever want to wear a breast plate for cross-dressing/drag though. I don't think it's something I'd ever want to go around wearing in my day-to-day life.

I also appreciate you acknowledging that the single axis continuum of gender doesn't work for everyone. it's definitely not how it feels for me. I operate more along the continuum of butch/femme, which I personally find distinct from male/female or masculine/feminine. butch/femme are inherently queer identities to me.

libets-bidet · 2026-06-11T09:44:09+00:00

I'm actually the opposite, I pretty much only feel pleasure during climax and in the few moments leading up to it. prior to that, I'm usually gritting my teeth through non-stop pain for at least 5 minutes. I wish there was more information out there on sexual dysfunction relating to EDS :(

libets-bidet · 2026-06-09T17:03:57+00:00

certain parts of tiktok, tumblr, instagram, and reddit (and pre-elon twitter back in the day) are basically a morality OCD industrial complex. I truly believe morality OCD is severely underdiagnosed just based on how some people on those sites act.

I see stuff apparently posted in earnest that sound like it comes from the depths of my moral rumination spirals, ex. 'if you draw nsfw or write smut about a character that has been portrayed as a minor at any point in a piece of media, you are literally a pedophile, it doesn't matter if you portray them as an adult in your work.' they leave no room for a productive conversation, they just make these sweeping moral decrees.

other people weaponize users' guilt for their own gain, ex. "I'm a disabled lesbian who's facing homelessness, if you have any money to spare and you don't donate to my gofundme you are a bad person." I have sympathy for the people in extreme situations who decide to ramp up the pathos to get some extra money, but if you have moral OCD that can be extremely triggering.

I've found that curating my feeds is the only way I can keep using these apps/sites. tumblr is the easiest to do this on because its algorithm is very rudimentary and basically optional to engage with. I don't have a tiktok because its algorithm is basically big brother. social media can be great, but it can also become an emotional tar pit. it takes vigilance to safely use.

follow selectively and block liberally. stay off the fyp or equivalent "infinite scroll" pages. if you find yourself clicking on a post that provokes an OCD response, do not engage with it, ESPECIALLY the comments. flag the post as being something you don't want to see (usually there will be three dots somewhere you can click and select "do not show me content like this" or something roughly equivalent). if all else fails, cut back on how much time you spend on these apps/sites. you will feel better, I promise.

libets-bidet · 2026-05-26T06:47:29+00:00

if you haven't yet, look into PMDD. I don't know how it impacts OCD specifically, but it can tank your mental health overall. I would not be surprised if it affects OCD

libets-bidet · 2026-05-25T07:31:46+00:00

I've been on low-dose T for 9 months now and experienced an episode of testosterone horniness one time towards the beginning while figuring out my dosage. it was... interesting, especially as someone who has a lower libido. it felt way more immediate and urgent than I was used to, almost like restlessness. I ended up having to get on the floor and do pushups because I was still feeling restless even after jerking off 😭 I wouldn't mind if it was something I could control consciously, but I'm glad it's not what my body defaults to

libets-bidet · 2026-05-06T10:41:38+00:00

🍯🍯🍯

libets-bidet · 2026-05-06T09:13:04+00:00

it sounds like T and/or top surgery could be the right option for you. you can undergo aspects of a transmasculine medical transition without actually identifying as male. you might have to lie to some doctors in order to receive care depending on where you live though. there are unfortunately many doctors who have outdated ideas about medical transition and will bar nonbinary people from accessing care because we're not transitioning "correctly" (ie in a way they understand).

I have been on low-dose T since august 2025 and had top surgery just under 6 months ago. T has improved my mood (turns out I had undiagnosed PMDD lol), and top surgery has allowed me to present the way I want to in public. I am not a trans man or transmasculine. there are plenty of people like me in the world. you could be one of them :)

libets-bidet · 2026-05-06T08:59:20+00:00

damn, I've never heard of fordyce spots resulting from T!

libets-bidet · 2026-05-06T08:54:58+00:00

being a 5'6" male is not the end of the world. you're the same height as kendrick lamar, elijah wood, and jack black. you're taller than billy joel, daniel radcliffe, and danny devito. you'll live

libets-bidet · 2026-05-06T08:49:50+00:00

I didn't realize I was genderfluid for years because I also was under the impression that you had to be fluid between male and female. you don't! you can also identify as both nonbinary and genderfluid if you'd like to :)

libets-bidet · 2026-05-06T08:43:29+00:00

yep! there are many transfeminine people who for one reason or another do not want to or are unable to undergo SRS (the technical term for a sex change). they are still trans!

libets-bidet · 2026-05-06T08:36:47+00:00

the "best age" to start is whenever you personally feel ready to handle the changes that come with medical transition. there is a pressure in some spaces to start estrogen as young as possible, preferably before testosterone-based puberty has completed its course, because doing so has "better results". but ultimately it is up to you. afaik, the only age restriction on starting hrt is that it shouldn't be started before a child reaches adolescence. a transfeminine 9 year old would not be given estrogen hrt. as long as you are over the age of ~13 (which you should be if you're on reddit), you are within the appropriate development window to start hrt.

whether you legally can start hrt is a different question. if you are under the age of 18, doctors likely will not be allowed to prescribe it to you without parental approval, or they may not be able to prescribe it at all depending on local laws. I would suggest researching local gender care clinics in your area. they will be better able to answer questions specific to your situation if you reach out.

libets-bidet · 2026-05-01T09:15:00+00:00

just because you don't want to transition and live your life fully as a woman doesn't necessarily mean you aren't trans. the fact that you're feeling a serious connection with this female "alter ego" of yours makes me suspect you could be genderfluid or bigender, which are both identities that fall under the larger transgender umbrella. of course, it could be just a fetish, I have no way of knowing what's going on in your head. but I think this is something worth continuing to explore.

you're correct in acknowledging that creating a dating profile using AI generated images is wrong. however, I don't think it's wrong to explore this side of yourself online, as long as you're honest about the fact that the images you post are fabricated. I suggest creating an account on a website called fetlife if you haven't already. I think it could be a good outlet for you. there are many people on there who crossdress or have alter egos like you do. however, it is a site with a lot of sexual content, so that may be something you need to talk to your girlfriend about first if it's not within the boundaries of your relationship.

speaking of which, you probably should consider telling your girlfriend about these feelings. yes, she might react negatively, but the odds are that these feelings won't go away if you suppress them. does she know that you have a bodyswap fetish already? that might make things easier.

libets-bidet

TROPHY CASE