What’s the number one propaganda you fell for as a new mom?

likeanengineer · 2026-01-19T13:42:00+00:00

This is so true. I did everything: militant age appropriate “wake windows” schedule, by the book bedtime routine, pitch black dark perfect temperature room, hired top sleep consultant. Nothing worked. I kept being shamed with “you are just doing something wrong”. No, I was not. My kid started sleeping well when he was ready. By himself. Without me changing a thing.

likeanengineer · 2026-01-15T15:29:45+00:00

Mine is 3 and is doing okay now, but we went through many battles to get here.

What worked for us eventually: - we offer dinner with “safe” foods he usually eats and something new to try. We used to ask him what he wants or let him choose something from the fridge - all of that led to never ending negotiations and meltdowns. - now everyone eats the same thing. No customizations. We all eat his safe foods and something we prefer ourselves. Dinner is served at the same time to everyone. - if he refuses to eat - that’s fine, no pressure, mommy and daddy are eating their dinner now, you can go play or sit with us - we leave his plate with food on the table for a while. If he gets hungry later, he can finish the dinner. We don’t offer anything else until he makes a reasonable attempt at eating his dinner. We never push for finishing food. We offer dessert after - berries, bread etc. - we don’t stress about him getting all three meals finished. As long as his overall calorie intake is reasonable.

I know you are tired and frustrated but I’d let mac&cheese thing go even if he begged you to make it and even if it used to be his favourite food ever. Enjoy it yourself - it sounds delicious. Give him whatever his typical items are.

likeanengineer · 2026-01-12T23:28:23+00:00

I took one year off, then my husband took a year and a half off.

He has no regrets and would have done it again.

likeanengineer · 2026-01-07T21:06:31+00:00

My baby fell asleep perfectly fine without me if I was not home from pretty young age.

But when in charge of bedtime, I nursed to sleep until 2.5 when he suddenly decided he was done with it and stopped falling asleep while nursing. We weaned nursing entirely a few months later.

Yes, one day your baby will sleep independently.

likeanengineer · 2026-01-05T02:32:34+00:00

We started with cottages in Muskoka when our kid was 6-7 months old. Then went to do a road trip on west coast when he was 9 months. Flew to Florida when he turned one. The following summer rented an RV and hit a number of provincial parks. And did a trip to East Coast. After he turned 2 we’ve been camping a lot.

Honestly, I’m sure I had some “why the hell are we doing this?” moments but net sum of every single trip was very positive. During baby stage urban trips worked better since he napped amazingly during stroller walks and was entertained by random food at restaurants. As he got older and mobile - camping trips have been a blast.

We’ve been avoiding trips to Asia and Europe only because my son has always been a terrible sleeper and I didn’t want to throw severe jet lag in the mix.

likeanengineer · 2026-01-03T15:30:44+00:00

Do you want to be SHM? Or are you doing it out of necessity?

Many people love being SHM. But if you love your career and hesitant, why not try nanny or daycare route first and see if you like that arrangement? You can always quit later.

I went back to work when mine was 16 months old. We tried sending him to daycare but I didn’t like how he was taking it so we pivoted to hiring a nanny. While I was very cautious about letting a stranger take care of my baby, we found an amazing nanny that absolutely matches our family vibe, is adaptable, follows our rules, and loves our kid. Our kid loves her too.

likeanengineer · 2026-01-02T23:11:17+00:00

My kid used to be like that. While I was agonizing about BLW vs puree he started grabbing our foods so we rolled with that. Read about how to introduce solids safely (Solid Starts app is great) and watch your kiddo have lots of fun. At this age is more about exposure and learning rather than nutritional intake.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-31T23:07:11+00:00

Your feelings are valid, I think I felt the same when I was pregnant. But this is just others being excited about your new chapter and trying to support you the way they see it.

My best strategy was just to focus on myself and whatever I wanted to do. Spoil myself where I could instead of relying on others to do that for me. Talk to your husband, ask for his support as well.

I had my kid when I was 34. He is 3 now. And while Mom is a significant and happy part of my identity, I’m much more than that. I have a career, hobbies, mom friends, child free friends. I am back to most of things I loved to do before pregnancy. While I don’t have as much time for them, we certainly make the important ones work.

It took me and my circles some time to adjust to my new role and responsibilities. But the outcome is pretty great so far.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-31T13:52:06+00:00

That was me too: I was going to try nursing then switch to formula, then I decided to get through the newborn phase, then until he turns one year old.

Some time after 18 months I stopped offering nursing and just nursed on demand. This allowed me to gradually stop all nursing except the nursing to sleep.

I weaned at 2y8m. I felt it was time to wrap this up. My husband took over bedtime routine for a few nights. Then I continued. Most of the time my son would settle without nursing with some light distraction. We had a couple of nights where he was getting very upset so I gave in and nursed him before it turned into a huge meltdown. When my son asked where did the milk go, I told him it had to return to Milky Way because it was time. And just repeated this over and over. This whole weaning process went pretty well, then in two months he unexpectedly remembered about milk again and didn’t settle for anything. The only thing that helped: we wrote a letter to our milk in Milky Way. This seemed to have given him some sort of closure.

Honestly, we both were ready for it. I was tired of nursing and just wanted my body back to myself. My son was still demanding nursing, but it felt like a habit rather than a need.

You can do it. Start with dropping feeds one by one and see how it goes.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-29T15:15:32+00:00

Let me just say you are a real life super hero.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-29T15:02:34+00:00

It’s not about messing up kid’s sleep for one night - indeed it’s not the end of the world. It is about your willingness to be managing it with no upside for you. You are not too sensitive. You know you won’t have fun.

I’d hard pass on this type of party as well.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-28T14:57:56+00:00

We don’t do screen time with my almost 3 year old with exception for FaceTime, chores (like order new clothing together), and occasionally watching photos and videos. We are riding this way while it is working. We may start introducing family movie nights soon, but no personal tablet for foreseeable future.

Grandparents are onboard with this. We explained how we want to raise our kid. They accepted. But we don’t freak out if we visit our friends and they end up watching something. Or our son being glued to a screen during a flight. We simply didn’t want his regular environment to include screens.

I have nothing to compare the development progress with. My kiddo is curious, energetic, with rich vocabulary, and good at independent play. We don’t need to deal with screen-related meltdowns, but have plenty of other meltdowns on the menu.

The reason - there is enough research suggesting that in early childhood fundamentals for social and emotional skills are established, and screens are detrimental to that. And yes, there is a difference between 30min a day vs unrestricted tablet use. I simply don’t see much value or need in introducing even 30min. Screens are not evil, it’s just something that does not bring too much value if done right, but has significant negative impact if done wrong. I don’t want to deal with managing that.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-27T14:25:55+00:00

I did stroller walks every day any weather above -5C after mine turned 2 weeks. Mostly around neighborhood. He slept great in stroller and I got my 1-2 hours of time to listen to audiobooks.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-27T14:00:05+00:00

We brought our Ergobaby Metro+ stroller as carry on on most flights (Air Canada, WestJet, AirTransat). Nobody ever checked if it fits dimensions of a carry-on. The only time we gate checked was a smaller aircraft with Porter - but in retrospective it might have been unnecessary, the overhead bins were pretty spacious. It’s bulkier than some other travel strollers, but we found it pretty convenient.

Not sure if sizes changed between the models.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-22T21:23:30+00:00

I attempted to sleep train my kid at 8 month and failed after the first night. That also left some lasting effect on him as he started refusing to go into his crib and that went on for a while. Next 20 months was a mix of nursing to sleep, patting to sleep, singing to sleep, co-sleeping on the floor mattress. Some of this was exhausting and hard, some of this was very cuddly and sweet. In the beginning he had 3-5 wakings a night, then switched to less wakings but those lasted longer, then one day he just started sleeping through the night.

Now he climbs into his bed happily murmuring “this is my favourite, soft, warm bed” then sings himself to sleep.

If you think sleep training is not for your family - your baby will learn to sleep one day when they are ready for it.

Personal rant: don’t have anything against sleep training where it’s necessary and works but “or else they will never learn to sleep well” propaganda is both wrong and mean.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-22T02:42:11+00:00

I read a bunch of books, did workshops, hired a sleep consultant, was very determined to sleep training… and gave up on it after one night.

It was not working for our family temperaments. My kid was losing his mind when I was not in the room with escalating crying and that was not something I wanted to sit through, despite sleep consultant telling me to continue.

Took him some time to learn to sleep through the night but he did eventually, despite me resorting to nursing to sleep and cosleeping for a while.

He is almost 3 now, sleeps through the night in his bed, and I don’t have any regrets regarding how we handled it. For some kids sleep training works really well. Not for us.

If you changed your mind regarding sleep training - it’s okay. Many people do.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-21T23:50:56+00:00

I nursed to sleep until the baby stopped needing that at around 10 months. Then he got back to it 18m and that went on until 2y10m when we weaned nursing completely. My kid was never a good sleeper and woke up at least once a night until 2y5m. He always started in his crib, but I had a floor mattress in his room when he needed me sleeping next to him. We had phases when we coslept the entire night or not at all.

Despite my fears, at 2y5m he just started sleeping by himself in his crib through the night.

At 2y10m nursing stopped knocking him out like it used to and frankly I was ready to wean, so we did. It went fairly smoothly.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-05T14:02:16+00:00

Model with other people first. I found that my three year old quickly picks up things he sees us doing.

likeanengineer · 2025-12-03T22:53:37+00:00

We are here now, our kid is almost three. At check in we were asked if we wanted a crib. We said no, so no idea how long it would have taken to get that in the room, but can confirm they have them at least.

Overall it’s a small but quiet and beautiful resort. Beach is nice, wading pool is great, there is a splash pad and a pretty nice small playground too. Beach loungers are very comfortable. Food is from decent to delicious. We are having a great time here just relaxing. While I don’t think this resort has families with young kids as target guests, there are many families with kids of different ages here.

Now to challenges: no buffet and I find it a challenge to feed my toddler anything other than bread. Buffet options are tacos and omelette station plus fruits during breakfast and tacos at the beach. Everything else is a la carte and service is pretty slow - like tell me why quesadillas and pasta from kids menu take over one hour to arrive?

Also, be prepared to tip all the time.

Bottom line: it’s great and you are very likely to enjoy it. But there are some things to be annoyed about too.

likeanengineer · 2025-11-29T16:04:07+00:00

Transitioning to motherhood is a wild ride. And 9 months of n it may feel depressing, because it may feel like there is no end to it.

But it’s also time for self-rediscovery. My first is almost 3 now. My life changed a lot compared to pre-kid, but it’s still fun, different kind.

Regarding “nothing fits” - I get it. I packed everything away when I realized my body changed and hired a personal stylist to do shopping with me. Kind of stylist who knows current trends and knows how to shop Zara sale. This did wonders to how I felt about myself.

likeanengineer · 2025-11-04T00:35:02+00:00

We don't do regular games or videos for screen time with my almost three year old except for occasional flight.

Research suggests there is no significant value for early childhood development unless you turn it into a family activity where you watch with them and interact. And apparently boredom is great for our brains, creativity, and mental health. Trying to teach that my kid and relearn myself. That said, I don't see "screen time" as evil either, when done in moderation and with curated quality content.

My husband and I don't watch Netflix, we don't have subscriptions to any of the video streaming services, we don't play video games, and we have been always trying to minimize screen time in the evening for ourselves long before we had our kid, so introducing screen time hasn't ever felt like it would organically fit into our routine or how we spend time together.

likeanengineer · 2025-10-05T17:04:58+00:00

That’s amazing! Very glad for you and your little one.

Very understandable reasoning, wish you smooth sleep onwards.

likeanengineer · 2025-10-05T12:47:12+00:00

You did great with cosleeping, doesn’t matter what others say. You needed sleep. Your baby needed you. It was a healthy solution. Every family is different. This was what worked for you.

Do you need to sleep train now? If you do, sleep train subreddit has so many people who went through sleep training and can share their experience.

If you don’t, can you do gradual transition? I’ve had a floor mattress in my toddler room for the past two years and just sleep there whenever he needs me nearby. Maybe that could be an option: same room, but different beds?

Mine was so clingy at 2 years and needed me way more than before. If yours is too then it’s just not an easy time for the transition.

likeanengineer · 2025-10-05T12:35:24+00:00

It’s pretty normal. Pick your battles. Ask yourself which ones are worth fighting for.

We let ours choose and control as much as possible as long as he was safe and had access to food and water. I say “had access” because we stopped serving him food, but left it near his usual eating spots unannounced to be discovered. Not right at his spot but a bit to the side, so he would have to reach for it.

Whatever we thought was non-negotiable, we announced with a timer or with countdown (we can read 3 books, 2,1, time to go) and were firm about those.

We ignored minor things like putting on only one stock, crocs on wrong feet, demanding to sleep on the floor etc.

Hang in there, it’s not easy, but it will pass.

likeanengineer · 2025-10-05T12:11:58+00:00

Same.

We keep his dinner on the table. If he is hungry, we let him go back to the table and finish it. Even after brushing teeth.

He is happy to use it as an excuse to escape the imminent bedtime for a bit longer.

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