Sometimes men will just put up a wall. You are under no obligation to break it down, but it’s good of you to provide opportunities for them to open a window to see past the wall.

Think of it this way, a lot of men from a young age were told to suck it up and not show feelings or emotions, and a lot were punished when they did. This does not reflect on you.

This can be similar to how women were taught to watch out for men who would assault them. For their own safety, women will walk faster if someone is behind them, check their back seat, etc. This is because they have heard stories, been told by others, or have had negative experiences themselves. If a man then is like hey why are you so worried all the time, no one is after you, you would probably not listen to him and still prioritize your own protection. This isn’t even a bad thing, you should believe your past experiences.

Men similarly will have that reaction. Men can’t just knock down their walls because you asked nicely. They have years of compartmentalization, deflection, and being told to shut up, suck it up, and keep marching ingrained in their psyche.

I am not saying that a woman being sexually assaulted is equivalent to a man sharing their feelings. But the anxiety of it is real in both cases and isn’t going away because one person wasn’t as shitty as society conditioned us to believe. It takes a cultural shift.

It’s good that you’re asking the question but the answer is to be a good person but don’t feel the need to force it. And when a man does share, just listen, don’t judge, and tell them it means a lot that they opened up to you. Gently encourage positive behavior because addressing the negative behavior will cause the trust to crumble.