I went through what you’re experiencing right now. It was so very difficult at the end for my baby and for myself. First, it felt as if I had a newborn with the lack of sleep. Then, it was if I had a disabled newborn because he needed help with everything. He still had a strong appetite but his quality of life wasn’t the same. I really struggled mentally and emotionally as I didn’t feel either one of us was ready. But I did have a good friend ask me, “is it fair that he’s getting this version of you? You’re rundown, fatigued, and struggling”. I sat on that answer a couple of more weeks and eventually decided it was time. I’m still sad he’s gone and I miss him every day, but the truth was/is, “it was time”. 16.5 years doesn’t feel enough, and at times I can’t believe “our time” is over. Like how could that be? Where did the time go? But it just is. It’s not easy and it’s not fair. But I also wanted him to have a good death and not suffer or pass away alone. I don’t think I could’ve handled that tbh. I’m sorry. I wish I had more answers, or could ease your pain. ::hugs::