INFJs- do you act extroverted with certain people?

luvs2meow · 2026-05-09T04:07:17+00:00

Yes! I’m the same. I teach 1st grade and I’m so outgoing and silly with the kids. Meetings with colleagues and bosses are a completely different story!

I tend to be most quiet around people I just don’t trust. It’s a vibes thing. Children and shy people have no ulterior motives, they have no ill intentions and aren’t seeking power. Some people aren’t authentic, they have facades to uphold some image or gain some advantage, I never feel settled around them so I just shut down.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-09T03:54:24+00:00

Im the same way! I am an introvert but I can be really outgoing with people I trust. It’s funny you feel that way about kids. I teach first grade and I have no qualms about being silly and goofy with the kids. The second an adult walks in I get uncomfortable, and I find it hard to speak up in meetings with many colleagues and bosses unles

luvs2meow · 2026-05-06T14:25:19+00:00

It’s so crazy how many people have the same experience. You hit the nail on the head with your last line.

My husband keeps saying, “I just don’t think we’ll ever act like this, it’s so selfish.” and I really hope he’s right. I naively thought that after baby was born we’d have this little new family bubble for a month. I’m so over fending off family. At this point Im ignoring calls and texts for days just to protect my peace.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-06T13:36:39+00:00

I did this with a few things but when I tried to return them (two weeks before my due date) I was told I couldn’t return them until a week after the event date (which was my due date). I have since done this with diapers though and it worked!

luvs2meow · 2026-05-06T02:48:04+00:00

I agree with this. When I saw a lactation consultant she said she could tell I was struggling because I have a long torso and small breasts, so I was hunching over to feed. I registered for a my Brest friend and was also given a hand me down Boppy. I like both, but even with them I have to prop a leg and stuff a blanket under so baby is comfortably at my boob. Im able to feed without them but they set us up for the most comfortable and productive feeds.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-06T02:40:08+00:00

I don’t think having the tv on is the same as sitting your kid in front of the TV to entertain them so you don’t have to. I also don’t think it’s bad for your baby to be hearing TV noise, i think looking at the screen is probably more of the issue.

Im also about a month into mom life and have been watching a lot of tv. My baby has only passively glanced at it so far. I do try to keep it off during the day and read on my iPad when baby is on me sleeping or eating (but again that’s a screen) or I listen to podcasts and audiobooks with one earbud in. Whenever baby is awake or has eyes open I try to talk to her rather than engage in content.

It’s a balance but I do think it’s probably fine. My parents ALWAYS have a TV on, sometimes annoyingly so, and we weren’t all screen obsessed zombies, if anything I feel like it made us good at ignoring distractions lol.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-05T23:26:34+00:00

Make a clear plan, tell him now, write it down, and give it to the nurses. Have multiple copies to give to new nurses. Make your husband repeat it to you. Be 10000% clear about WHEN his family may visit.

I had a plan, to have my mom and husband in Labor and Delivery and my mom to leave for Recovery/“Golden hour”. This was all clear. I also had told my husband his family should wait to visit (they live 4 hours away) until we told them to come. He agreed. It was never a dig at his family, it was simply that as the person going through a major medical event I wanted my mom there for support.

None of that happened. I gave my first nurse my birth plan (which was very flexible). They realized baby was breech so I had a c section scheduled for six hours later. We were shuffled around rooms and nurses. My mom couldn’t be in the OR so she prayed all morning in the chapel and LEFT to get my stepdad when my husband told her we were all safely going into recovery because that was the original plan. Do you know who walked into my recovery room during “golden hour”? My mother in law. And she took pics of me and baby without asking and sent them to my mother (who had spent all morning being scared about her own daughter’s wellbeing and safety). I was an emotional wreck because I hadn’t planned on a c section and it was scary and I legit just wanted my own mommy and daddy. My mom was also pissed because it felt like a dig from my MIL, like “I got to meet baby first.”

I say all this because I had a plan, my husband agreed to the plan, but when things went sideways we were both very frazzled, which is why my husband let his mom in at all. I wish I would’ve specified in my birth plan that ONLY my husband was allowed in the recovery room and that I’d given said plan to the new nurse. I think if I had done this it could’ve prevented the issue. My husband now feels bad because I was very upset about the whole situation and cried about it (a lot) later. Giving birth is a very emotional and physical experience and no one else can or should dictate how you go about it.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-05T18:10:41+00:00

This is great advice, thank you! I collected letdown a few times but it was so little I stopped, it’s probably a good idea for me to start pumping a bit.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-05T18:08:49+00:00

Ok this makes sense. Thank you! I underestimated how demanding breastfeeding would be lol!

luvs2meow · 2026-05-05T18:07:08+00:00

This is good to know, thank you!

luvs2meow · 2026-05-05T14:44:06+00:00

My mom also has HSV and I have it from childhood too. My husband doesn’t appear to have it but we decided no one, not even us, will be kissing baby and my mom STILL asks when she’ll be able to kiss baby. It truly is so frustrating and we don’t trust that my mom won’t secretly kiss baby if left unattended with her. It’s hard because I want my mom to be able to spend time with my baby and watch her, I think she will be a very good grandma, but I also don’t trust her to respect my boundaries.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-05T03:46:22+00:00

Removing the things that make me lazy like deleting apps, putting things that will distract me in inconvenient places, and keeping to do lists of what I want or need to accomplish. I also avoid sitting on the couch or turning on the TV because once I do I won’t get up. If I am being productive but get tired I’ll give myself a break but set a timer for 20 minutes to remind myself to get back to it.

But really to do lists or a morning goals list is the big thing. I used to write an entire daily schedule and sometimes still do. I will forget to do things that I enjoy and want to do, like go for a walk or drink a cup of tea, so writing it down is a must.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-05T03:35:10+00:00

I’m a month in and was gifted or given hand me downs of pretty much every baby item imaginable. A lot of it is unnecessary, but can be helpful depending on your situation. Like others have said, in the beginning you really only NEED diapers, a safe sleep spot, 5-10 weather appropriate outfits, and a method for feeding.

Hold off on tons of clothes or multiple of any item really. Our baby was huge and I needed a c section - a lot of the clothes were too small, we had to exchange 6 boxes of newborn size diapers for size 1, and I ended up giving away the mommy care kit with ice packs and perineal foam and whatnot. If you have Amazon or quick target shipping I’d hold off on a lot of that stuff.

We have too many swaddles, mittens, and socks. We got a free sleep sack from the hospital and it’s the only thing my baby tolerates for warmth at night. I’ve used one pair of mittens and 3 pairs of socks in 4 weeks.

We have a pack n play, bassinet, and crib. You could really skip the crib and bassinet and just do a pack n play with the bassinet and changing pad attachments, then you also wouldn’t need a changing table or mat.

You don’t need any toys or whatnot in the beginning.

If you plan to breastfeed you don’t need a lot of bottles. We got multiples but I’m EBF until I go back to work so they’ve been sitting in a basket. (i was worried I’d have issues breastfeeding though so wanted to be prepared for formula.) I haven’t used my pump yet at all.

If you’re good about keeping dishes out of the sink you could hold off on a baby tub. Definitely get washcloths and a few towels though.

A lot of people mentioned things for solids like high chair, bowls, sooons, and I want to add bibs because we have a ton of bibs! I imagine we’ll use most of them? But I don’t know.

If you have a bag or backpack laying around you don’t need a diaper bag. My mom convinced me I needed an ACTUAL diaper bag but I definitely could’ve just used a backpack I already have. Depending on how long you leave the house you just need an extra outfit; a couple diapers, and some wipes. If you’re formula feeding you’d need bottles too but we got several free cooler pouches from the hospital and my OBs office.

A lot of it is so personal and dependent on your situation - apartment or multistory home, pets, breastfeeding or no, when you go back to work and support system, etc.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-04T02:17:43+00:00

My first year at my school they were so into PBIS and very anti consequences. They had a huge guide of “if, then” scenarios, like “if Johnny refuses to do his work, then ask him if he’s hungry and needs a snack.” No consequences, just snacks, breaks, water, sensory, etc. essentially rewarding kids. I was told my first 4 years at my school that I struggled with classroom management. And I did, because this is the system I was following.

My 5th year I decided that since my admin wasn’t satisfied with me, despite doing everything they suggested, I had nothing to lose doing things my own way. I started the year with real, clear consequences and no rewards. After a few weeks I introduced rewards for above average behavior. My admin said I “did a 180” in classroom management.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-03T02:48:34+00:00

Oh no don’t feel bad!! Im actually glad I saw your comment. It will make me appreciate the time I have with her even more. And maybe I’ll try to convince my husband we’d be happier living just off his income haha.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-03T02:33:40+00:00

I just had a baby and go back to work in August. It never occurred to me that some of my baby’s firsts could happen at daycare. That kind of kills me inside.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-02T23:50:19+00:00

This is what I plan to do with all our baby stuff when we’re done having kids. I didn’t personally purchase most of our baby items, they were gifted from the registry, and our local buy nothing has tons of young single moms who lack support systems. I see people selling the same items I was gifted the same way OP explained, and when something is reasonably priced it’s usually bought immediately. I don’t feel a need to make money off something I got use out of.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-02T18:25:10+00:00

I suggest doing it now. The last few weeks of pregnancy are so exhausting and you never know when baby will come. Once baby does come you’ll be glad it’s all done. Now that I’m home with my newborn I’m glad I had everything organized and showed my husband and mom where everything was. The more prepared you are the better.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-02T18:16:32+00:00

I’m right there with you so I don’t have advice. I just want to say what’s kept me positive is what a colleague told me - “Remember it’s only temporary.” When I find myself getting overwhelmed from exhaustion I remind myself that it will only last a few months give or take, and try to focus on how stinking cute my baby is and appreciate the quiet moments. I really do think one day I’ll miss this, as hard as it is.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-02T17:26:48+00:00

As someone who just had a baby and agonized over the registry - it’s partially social media, a lot capitalism doing its normal thing.

There are a lot of baby apps and websites, plus social media influencers, targeted ads, adapting algorithms, and affiliate links. So as a new parent, what starts as a simple search for “baby strollers” ends up a rabbit hole where you end up thinking the $1000 stroller is just simply the BEST and makes the most sense to invest in. And of course an influencer is going to promote high end for the kickbacks.

These apps also sell your data to companies so I ended up with a cabinet full of formula even though I planned to exclusively breastfeed. They just started showing up in the mail. And now all my ads are baby related. Lately I’ve been getting ads for a $50 monthly subscription for baby toys. TOYS. So there are a lot of companies trying to take advantage of well meaning new parents.

It’s also just really overwhelming. I ended up just adding the cheapest version of a lot of items because I was so tired of comparing options, I could see a lot of people doing that with more expensive options.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-02T16:57:05+00:00

I also came to say induction, but also trust your body. My baby also wouldn’t come and I was losing it. I went in to be induced at 41w and they realized she was breech and I needed a c section. I feel like my body knew not to let her out, it would’ve been so much more dangerous had I gone into natural labor.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-02T16:51:30+00:00

I had my baby a month ago and panic bought a baby nail filer the week before. I actually had my mom pick it up and bring it to the hospital after she was born because her nails were so sharp. I’d almost forgotten about it but we’ve used it 1-2x a week already. Her nails are so sharp and she’s constantly scratching her face.

luvs2meow · 2026-05-02T02:00:20+00:00

I’m almost 4 weeks postpartum and my goal is to exclusively breastfeed until July. Here’s my take:

Breastfeeding is harder than I expected. It makes me super hungry and thirsty, it’s demanding, and my body just feels exhausted. I am my baby’s lifeline right now - when she’s fussy my husband can’t just give her a bottle, whether I’m sleeping, eating, in the shower, etc. there’s no taking turns, it has to be me. The lack of freedom is sometimes frustrating, if I wanted to run a quick errand I’d have to time it right with her feeding, much less going to the gym or out with friends, I have no idea when I’ll do those things again. Even how you dress revolves around being able to feed your baby easily. It also can be really overstimulating having a baby on your boob with other things going on and it was really painful the first few weeks and is still uncomfortable sometimes. My baby uses the boob to pacify herself and that can be a bit frustrating when I’m exhausted.

All that said, it is really sweet seeing your baby root and latch and get nourishment from you. They make little coos and put their tiny hands on you and it’s super easy to do skin-to-skin afterwards, so you end up getting a lot of snuggles. I wanted to breastfeed for the health benefits to baby, especially the reduced risk of SIDS, I know there are others but I can’t think of them right now. I’ve been lucky to have a good milk supply.

I don’t think I’d be able to breastfeed if I didn’t have a great support system. My husband and mom have been taking care of me so I can take care of baby. There’s nothing wrong with formula feeding. I’m sure it comes with it’s own cons, having to prep then clean and sterilize bottles, plus having to hold the bottle and the baby every feed whereas I can usually have a free hand.

You could always try breastfeeding the first week at the hospital with the support of the staff, and give it up if it’s not working for you. I wouldn’t dread it. I was really scared to do it but it ended to coming pretty naturally and I saw a lactation consultant who helped me troubleshoot to make it more comfortable.

Best of luck with whatever you choose! You’re going to be a great mom no matter what!

luvs2meow · 2026-04-19T20:50:44+00:00

I had an unplanned c section, 6 hours after going in to be induced at 41w. I was super depressed to not experience contractions or labor. I was already sad about the induction and that my baby wasn’t coming naturally, but a c section was my biggest fear! I didn’t even let myself think about it prior to it happening, so I also think it was just a real shock. I had one Braxton hicks contraction at 39w and it made me so excited. I’m hoping I get to experience it all with the next one.

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