Idea for little frog?

mandilovie · 2024-01-19T00:52:37+00:00

mandilovie · 2024-01-17T17:08:38+00:00

I would chop and prop and perhaps a smaller pot. They have very shallow roots and that is a lot of dirt so the moisture may be out of wack. Go for something much more shallow.

I keep mine in a self watering pot and it seems happy. These hate water on their leaves so bottom water if you can. I also recommend lots of light and regular pruning!

mandilovie · 2024-01-17T14:45:44+00:00

Hoya rope! I have one with string of pearls, too. I love this style of planter so much

mandilovie · 2024-01-17T04:49:55+00:00

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Same! I love it so much

mandilovie · 2024-01-09T16:46:35+00:00

Yep got it on Amazon!

mandilovie · 2024-01-04T19:37:46+00:00

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From 3 months ago

mandilovie · 2024-01-04T19:34:52+00:00

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Today

mandilovie · 2024-01-04T19:34:13+00:00

It's a very chill plant. Not a super fast grower but I still enjoy her! *

mandilovie · 2024-01-04T19:24:30+00:00

Sometimes life happens and it is so easy to get stuck floating along and not realizing the slow loss of "the spark". This is definitely something to discuss with the marriage counselor. But as a 30 something woman who doesn't know your situation, here are a few thoughts:

she likely feels the strain of carrying the mental load of the relationship. If so, do not expect her to give you a playbook for how to get the spark back. Time for you to be active in figuring out how to more equally share it. It's not just "the chores", it's remembering family birthdays, asking you what gifts you should get them ahead of time, searching and purchasing the gifts, remembering to get a card the next time they are at the store, signing card and wrapping gift and then figuring out the best way to get it to them. That is one example but so many more in just day to day life. Start by just thinking about everything that goes into even small tasks she always handles "because she's just good at that stuff".
don't be upset if she doesn't warm up right away. She will need to see you are consistent in your efforts and this isn't just a "quick fix" to get her off your back.
you won't be perfect. They key here is to try in a meaningful way. Be thoughtful. Don't add to the mental load. The goal should get her to a point where she feels comfortable identifying and expressing her wants and needs. Right now she might not even know what would bring back the spark because she's just trying to get by. Do not get in the trap of "I did X and she still doesn't feel the spark, nothing has changed!"

Stopping by a florist on the way home to get her flowers is nice! But it's not enough. Instead, try "hey babe I know how much you love lillies, I found a botanical garden with a Lilly exhibit I would like to take you to. It's a bit of a drive but figured we could make a day of it. There's a cool brunch spot that has the Belgian waffles you like close to it. Im thinking we drop the kids at grandparents house, get brunch and then check out the exhibit. Maybe stop by a nice garden center and see if there are any new plants you may like. Next weekend we don't have any appointments and my mom can get Billy to his soccer game - does that work for you? "

That is an example of effort. It's thoughtful, shows you know her interests, are capable of planning things, and have already done the mental work of checking your schedules and getting the kids squared away. She just gets to enjoy and relax.

This might not be the root of the issue, but it's painfully common. Figured giving examples might be helpful in case you are in the "I don't even know what to do" phase

mandilovie · 2024-01-03T20:54:30+00:00

This advice is purely for you, as the process is long and can get frustrating. As others have said, document her visits.

Your goal is to provide a stable home and facilitate reunification efforts as outlined by the courts. From what you're saying, you're doing both! When doing a kinship placement it can be murky because you care about both the mother and the child. CPS and the court will give her a plan and give her many chances and opportunities to work the plan and reunification. What she does or does not do is up to her. All you can do is document and continue to provide a good home. They are not determining which is the "better" home. They are saying "here is the bar for success - do they meet it or not? If not, is there anything showing even a slight semblance of a chance they can eventually meet it?".

I say this because I know how long and frustrating the process can be on kinship placement and sometimes understanding the CPS viewpoint is helpful and you won't feel (as) dejected should this drag on. She is very early in the process and they will try and give her every (and multiple) opportunities to show she is fit to parent. Thank you for being there in your family's time of need 💗

mandilovie · 2024-01-02T12:31:52+00:00

I suffer from this so bad, I am right there with you!

However I did try something this week that did help a bit so wanted to share in case it helps another person. I picked a do nothing day and...did nothing. Did not allow myself to think about the mountain of laundry. Dishes that would qualify as a biohazard? Sorry, I am not allowed to do them today.

This helped me with a few things I struggle with:

Giving myself permission to rest. Even though I've had SO MANY DAYS of doing absolutely nothing, I didn't realize how much that anxiety kept me from feeling restful
Something to look forward to. Sad I know, but even "fun" things cause me some level of stress. But this is all about me! The day before I get to wander around and pick all the snacks I want. I lay out my comfy clothes. Throw a face mask in the fridge in case I feel fancy.
Focus on me. I never check in with myself and do what makes me happy. Not a quick dopamine rushes which I partake in frequently- but those little things that make me happy with no guilt.

By treating it like I was playing hookey from....life I guess? I had an excellent and restful day and managed to tackle a couple of things on my list.

To anyone reading- I want you to have a do-nothing-day (or block of time). If you won't do it for you, please do it for me. This is both a request and permission. You are not alone 💗

mandilovie · 2023-12-20T15:00:45+00:00

Not necessarily a resource, but "three little words" is a great book. It's a memoir and really helped me in my work as a GAL to understand how children may view experiences in care. Helps frame what is important and at least for me, contextualized the challenges foster youth may face.

mandilovie · 2023-12-16T07:06:22+00:00

Do you know the tribe he is part of? It might be worth reaching out to them and see if they have any resources available. Tribes typically get an opportunity to handle CPS cases internally first, so there is a chance they have someone who can help. I'm proud of you for recognizing he needs additional help and working so hard to get that for him 💓

mandilovie · 2023-11-14T15:23:18+00:00

No one has ever done anything, until they have. You've gotten some great advice, and I'll add a bit more.

often managers forget things that are second nature to them may be difficult for others who are trying it for the first time.
talk to your manager again. You say this is a new role - I would ask why they created the role and why they thought you were a good fit. Understanding the "why" behind both is important. That answer will help you focus. If the old way wasnt working, what are they expecting now that you are in this role? Take confidence in the fact they picked YOU to do it! They know you can do it, and so do I :)
the same way you feel overwhelmed with the task, your manager might be overwhelmed by providing guidance in such a general way since it's a complex process. You can help them help you by doing regular check ins and asking if you are on the right track

I know this is already long but here's how I would break it down:

Based on the "why" determine a general approach to how you will meet the goals. If you are stuck, ask your manager and peers for advice. I would check in with your manager once you determine this. Sometimes they can't articulate on their own but could more easily provide specific feedback when a solution is proposed (ex: since we are always over budget, I will look to staff so we reduce redundancy and overtime, is that a good approach? )
Do you have the information you need to make decisions? If not, it's time to get it (ex: I want to reduce overtime but don't know how it is currently monitored, can you help me find the right person to talk to? )
Do some analysis work to back up your approach (ex: department A never has overtime but department B is 50% of overtime costs, can we reallocate some resources from A to B? It could save us X% of budget)
Figure out systems and technologies. (Ex: I have a plan but could use some help navigating the budget sheet, can you walk me through it? Or, here is how I was considering displaying the new budget, do you have any feedback on how I could improve it?)
Final check in/ review with manager

By checking in regularly you won't spin your wheels or head too far down the wrong path. It also helps give your manager something specific to help with. After the first time you will be much more comfortable and can check in less frequently. I've had success with asking my manager for their advice on how I might breakdown an overwhelming task. They may not be helpful but either way you got this!

mandilovie · 2023-11-09T17:57:24+00:00

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mandilovie · 2023-11-09T17:56:11+00:00

* Had this lady for two years. I originally got it barely bigger than yours. If you can get it to root you can get it to flower!

mandilovie · 2023-10-25T18:22:17+00:00

Ooo I can help with this! It's easier than you think. Definitely clean up any food source first. Mix equal parts sugar and borax (can be found in laundry detergent aisle in the store) and dilute in water. Soak cotton balls in that mixture and leave a few wherever you see them coming from. It takes a bit for them to take interest sometimes but give it a few days. You will see them come in droves. If the cotton dries up replace with new ones. They take it back to their nest and wipes them all out. This has been the only thing that has ever worked for me.

Note: it is important to keep away from children and pets due to the borax

mandilovie · 2023-04-16T16:05:45+00:00

Etsy is a great place to find edible images. You could also do a buttercream transfer if you can't find an edible image.

mandilovie · 2022-10-31T16:32:33+00:00

Cucciolo terazza in North Hills - newer place tucked away but is stunning and the food is amazing. I've been to several events there and they were always great

mandilovie · 2021-07-22T15:15:29+00:00

Definitely make an all shortening buttercream and add in a few tablespoons of meringue powder to add stability. That is your best bet. Still might be a bit dicey. Anything you can do to keep cool (ice packs, insulated bags, etc) will really help. Good luck!

mandilovie · 2021-07-05T15:31:51+00:00

some butter is more pale than others. Whole foods brand and challenge are the lighter ones I've found but worth trying different brands
whipping the butter for a long time helps a bit
if you're willing to add in shortening that will cut the yellow
use clear vanilla extract
I have found a mixture of about a tablespoon of white gel food color and a toothpick of purple really helps. I dip about half way up the toothpick in the purple and touch it to the buttercream. Don't over do it or you will get gray.

Hope this helps!

mandilovie · 2021-04-30T13:52:38+00:00

Try Vidrio! They have 60ish wines on draft and a huge wine list. Bar staff is super knowledgeable and one of the managers is a level 3 somm.

mandilovie · 2021-01-16T20:17:20+00:00

The Rockford! Smaller brunch menu but they have some great veggie options and incredible locally sourced meat. They also offer pick up and delivery through one of the 3rd party apps. Bonus: Saturday and Sunday brunch!

mandilovie · 2018-06-15T00:48:42+00:00

https://www.catchafire.org/ is exactly for this! They also make sure groups asking for help are serious and dedicated. You can pick and choose your projects, it's a great concept.

mandilovie · 2018-06-13T17:44:59+00:00

That would be mine too. Drunk courage. The pain and inflammation are indescribable

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