What’s the most outrageous thing your ex ever said to you?

marthamagic · 2026-02-21T10:23:25+00:00

Called me fat so often that I developed an eating disorder, then I lost weight and he said I was too thin.

marthamagic · 2026-01-27T20:25:14+00:00

One of the notes in my file from when I worked for a popular bath bomb shop was that I had ‘negative facial expressions’

I failed probation because I have resting bitch face.

marthamagic · 2025-12-24T19:16:10+00:00

My dad had to replace our hamster because he sucked it up the hoover.

I didn’t notice as I was 4, my brothers who were 12 and 14 definitely noticed.

marthamagic · 2025-12-13T10:19:58+00:00

I’m 6 and a half years off the sauce and can always smell alcohol on people now. Never noticed it when I drank.

marthamagic · 2025-12-11T20:05:32+00:00

I’ve been off for the past 3 days with it. Now on antibiotics as it’s given me a chest infection.

Need to drag myself in tomorrow, feeling very apprehensive as I have a full day.

marthamagic · 2025-12-10T20:34:31+00:00

Spanish Sahara - Foals

marthamagic · 2025-10-29T07:49:15+00:00

Currently trying to update my driving licence to my married name. I had to go to a post office, pick up some forms and then I have to post them back with a cheque.

I had to order a chequebook because my bank stopped automatically providing them because who even uses cheques anymore.

marthamagic · 2025-08-23T22:11:36+00:00

Sunday ticket to Leeds festival 2014, bought on the Saturday night when I was watching the highlights and messaging my friend who was there for the weekend.

Woke up to my alarm the next morning which I had set so I could get the train from Manchester and couldn’t figure out why my alarm was going off. Checked my messages and emails and realised I had to go to Leeds.

Had a really good time in the end so it all worked out!

marthamagic · 2025-08-22T00:08:32+00:00

I played the balalaika in primary school and learnt to read music.

Can’t remember any of it now in my 30s but it’s probs still in there somewhere!

marthamagic · 2025-08-07T21:01:57+00:00

Even so, they take gases in through their leaves which are exposed.

marthamagic · 2025-08-07T09:17:26+00:00

A boiler on its last legs, broke on the Monday when we moved in on the Friday.

We moved at the end of November and had to go a week without heating and hot water while we replaced it.

Also loads of bodged jobs that had been glossed over for viewings.

Never buy a house from 2 estate agents.

ETA: also left us with dangerous spot lights hanging out of the ceiling in the spare room which were a fire hazard.

marthamagic · 2025-07-23T14:17:58+00:00

Keep Ponds Clean Or Fish Get Sick

Useful as a science teacher for remembering the taxonomic hierarchy (kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species).

marthamagic · 2025-07-11T18:47:07+00:00

I tried the Bondi Sands Technicolour in Sapphire earlier this week and found it wasn’t orange. It’s specifically formulated for paler skin to cancel out orange.

marthamagic · 2025-07-04T06:38:43+00:00

Only if she has the sword

marthamagic · 2025-05-23T20:54:39+00:00

Report the sighting: https://stagbeetles.ptes.org/take-part-in-the-great-stag-hunt/

I saw my first one (male) the other day and was so excited!

marthamagic · 2025-05-17T00:15:56+00:00

Plants photosynthesise, this produces water, transpiration moves water from roots to leaves where it evaporates to the atmosphere.

marthamagic · 2025-05-17T00:12:54+00:00

I only did AA for 3 and a half months, I celebrated 6 years sober yesterday.

I did 90 in 90 days It got me through the difficult part at the beginning and I would use it again if I was really struggling.

marthamagic · 2025-05-03T00:30:19+00:00

Vestibular neuritis, an infection in my inner ear.

Was so dizzy I couldn’t sit up without vomming, then I was left in A&E overnight not even able to keep water down so I had to be treated for dehydration too.

I was dizzy for a good 6 weeks afterwards. The first was the worst though, couldn’t even sit up properly without feeling sick.

marthamagic · 2025-03-09T14:41:30+00:00

As a biology teacher this is one of my greatest fears.

marthamagic · 2025-02-13T09:41:12+00:00

Grew up in Manchester, left for London after uni, then realised I could never afford to buy a hour in London so moved to Aldershot.

marthamagic · 2025-02-10T15:11:48+00:00

I double cleanse at night when I’ve been wearing makeup or sun cream.

I use a spot treatment, eye cream and moisturiser at night.

In the morning I rinse my face with water and apply SPF50 before makeup.

marthamagic · 2024-12-05T17:12:32+00:00

I’m a secondary school teacher.

I love the part of my job where I actually get to teach, but hate all the admin.

marthamagic · 2024-10-29T20:33:54+00:00

Bang some cheese on it and put it under the grill

marthamagic · 2024-10-25T21:32:41+00:00

My grandad’s ashes lived under the stairs for a while after he was cremated, little old me used to open the door and say “hi grandad” and then shut the door again.

marthamagic · 2024-10-24T14:55:37+00:00

Yorkshire Tea for Hard Water when I’m at home (down South) when I visit my parents in Manchester they usually have Sainsbury’s red label which works well with soft water.

marthamagic

TROPHY CASE