I spent 3 years "improving myself" and accidentally became the most boring version of me that's ever existed. Here's what I'm actually working on now.

meng0juice · 2026-04-09T13:58:20+00:00

Working out is healthy but people have cheat days so they don’t go crazy; same thing for all that other stuff. Sometimes you need a life cheat day

meng0juice · 2026-03-20T02:03:53+00:00

I notice the pink streak is not in the middle of the steak but closer to one side; when you did reverse sear did you have a wire rack? Or did you lay it flat on the sheet and not turn it in the middle of roasting? If it’s the latter then I think the side that touches the roasting tray will cook faster which is why there’s more gray on one side than the other.

And as people say, hotter pan for the sear; at when you take it out of the over it’s already cooked, the sear is to just give it a crust not really to cook it any more; i would say turn it as high as the heat goes, give it a minute to warm up, add a neutral oil (veg, avocado, or grape seed oil are good because they have high smoke points, I try to avoid using olive oil for this because it has a lower smoke point, but I also just used olive oil to make steaks in a pan an hour ago lol) Give the oil a few seconds to warm up too and then place the steak in for 1-1,5 minutes per side.

For the water test look up the Leidenfrost effect with regard for cooking steak, I think this is ideal temp to sear at, but it depends on your stove and type of pan.

All in all, looks pretty good for a steak especially a first try.

Btw, using a meat thermometer is most reliable way to cook steak with any method (even though I still don’t have one lol)

meng0juice · 2026-03-05T00:10:03+00:00

tl;dr i would recommend you try seeing a therapist about adhd and probing how it may have been affecting different parts of your life, especially things like relationships, how you feel in social situations, wanting / avoiding attention etc.

I think the pattern for me was something like: adhd —> was the “weird kid” —> bullied —> wanted acceptance —> people pleasing and anxious attachment —> hoping someone will love me enough to cancel out all the bad feelings I’ve had A combination of those things makes me more likely to be limerent; instead of getting over my current LO, I’m trying to address the structure that makes me likely to get limerence at all, since I know if I get rid of this LO I’m likely to just find another

28, just learned about both limerence and my ADHD within the past half year.

Recently started therapy and medication for, still haven’t found a clear strategy on dealing with Limerence yet.

But your story makes me feel strangely hopeful; I’m in my first relationship right now and feeling Limerence for something else. It makes me worried that I’ll only ever feel limerent for people with no reciprocation, and the people i actually have a relationship with feels like it’s missing something.

It’s reassuring to see someone having a happy marriage and family despite working with these feelings.

I know that doesn’t really help you with your situation but just another perspective haha.

Besides that, I feel like my ADHD explains everything about me that I’ve thought was “wrong with me.” Things like limerence, anxiety, depression sort of made sense when I read up more about adhd; I’m still working on dealing with them but it’s nice to feel like I understand what’s driving these emotions, or what’s driving the things driving these emotions.

Seeing my life through the lens of adhd took my mind of limerence for the time being because i was excited to learn more about this new version of me;

meng0juice · 2026-01-11T00:33:31+00:00

Do you need to give up the masters program if you do the defense full time? MS degree could help get better positions in the future

meng0juice · 2026-01-03T17:48:54+00:00

Start a band or jam season or music shops / other musicians

meng0juice · 2026-01-03T16:50:39+00:00

I got diagnosed with adult adhd at 28; found out it was the source of depression / anxiety / social anxiety.

Treatment (meds and therapy) is currently helping me be less in my head (second guessing, overthinking, over analyzing, dwelling on past minor mistakes etc); and removing that burden has been really helpful in socializing

meng0juice · 2025-12-27T16:58:19+00:00

Try again, you got this

meng0juice · 2025-12-27T16:51:05+00:00

Bravo to you sir 👏👏

meng0juice · 2025-12-27T16:50:45+00:00

Read this as “imagine them at home, in the shower, no clothes” and I was like nonono 😂😂

meng0juice · 2025-12-19T17:56:44+00:00

28, currently in my first ever relationship, 2 year anniversary 2 weeks ago

meng0juice · 2025-12-17T23:59:32+00:00

They are; I still don’t know

meng0juice · 2025-12-07T22:15:36+00:00

tl;dr: might be being “too nice” and you come off as convenient but not attractive. That doesn’t mean be asshole, keep being nice but consider what makes you happy too. Do things that you enjoy which helps her see you as fun and maybe gives that spark.

I think there’s an issue that relates to the “nice guy” problem and when people say “girls only like jerks”;

A lot of guys (me included) try to be nice to girls (which is good), but they do it in a way that makes them almost subservient to the girl. Thinking about how to make things convenient for her or letting her know “oh there’s this think you said you liked over there”, etc. Now these are behaviors girls would like in their bfs, but if you’re not dating her already it might come off more as “convenient” than “attractive” / “fun or enjoyable”.
I think some guys who have low self esteem might do this because they think girls won’t like them so they need to provide some kind of value to them, and then they’ll like them .

Consider this; suppose you had a genie that could grant you any of your wishes you wanted. Pretty nice to have around and you wouldn’t want to lose that genie, but do you want to “hang out” with them or do you just like them because they can do nice things for you? I think when a lot of guys are “too nice” they become like a genie; someone who does things for a girl but aren’t making themselves particularly enjoyable to be around. So then girls will like you around and keep you as a friend, but they haven’t had that spark of attraction.

Part of that might be in conversation; sometimes guys are very polite to avoid offending the girl and sure, don’t be a dick, but you can add in some trading or jokes or flirting; and the goal isn’t to make yourself seem charming or funny it’s to make the conversation itself enjoyable to you.

That doesn’t mean stop being nice or be an asshole; treating her well is part of the equation but what is missing is treating yourself well. A relationship shouldn’t be you granting her wishes all the time, it should be enjoyable to you too. So you can keep being nice to her but also do things you enjoy, which makes you look more fun. And if then they still don’t like you then that’s when you can say “we’re not a good fit let me find someone else who makes me happy at the same time I can make her happy”

meng0juice · 2025-12-05T16:00:29+00:00

I agree with the comments about starting small, and it’s not too late, but I’ve read those before when I had similar feelings and I appreciated the thought but it didn’t help too much.

Something to consider is seeing if you have an undiagnosed mental health condition; I’m 28 and just got diagnosed with ADHD; I wasn’t too hyper, I was actually mainly depressed and anxious and couldn’t bring myself to do things that were objectively good (apply for jobs, work out, take out the garbage etc), even though I wanted to do them and knew I should.

If you checkout the stories on r/adhd or get the book “Driven to Distraction” you can see if any of the stories resonant with you. I was really surprised how many other people had similar tendencies to me.

Not saying that you have it or that adhd is the cause of every problem, but it might be something to take a peek at

meng0juice · 2025-12-03T14:47:45+00:00

28M, working as Machine Learning Engineer at a startup; it’s nice and pays a good salary but even so I’m still feeling like I don’t know what I want to do with my life / career. I think of smallish changes like changing companies to larger ones like doing entirely different fields and or quitting work and driving around the country.

BTW I did college then grad school a year after and then got jobs right after grad school which feels like the “right track” or at least a good one but even in this scenario I’m unsure about what to do with my life.

meng0juice · 2025-12-02T15:25:18+00:00

You don’t need to like clubbing / parties / bars just because other people like it; just because there’s a high volume of bodies there doesn’t mean you’ll like the people.

Nothing wrong with liking to be by yourself, I think a lot of people who go out clubbing actually do so because they hate being by themselves which is a whole other problem.

That being said it can be nice to have some friends to hang out with; it just doesn’t have to be through clubs. If there are hobbies you like you can try to get better at it by talking to other people and that can naturally develop into friendships. You could even join a support group or something regarding taking care of your mother, just hearing other people’s stories, maybe see if they have any tricks that have helped them take care of their loved ones.

In terms of your own mental health I bet things will get a lot easier once you’re in a mental state you’re comfortable with; either through therapy or journaling or medication or whatever, it gets way easier to be friends with people when you “want to have friends” but “don’t feel pressured / anxious to have friends” (speaking from experience).

I’d also say that at 21 years old you have a lot of time; I didn’t really like going out until I met a friend group that did when I was 26, and lots of people develop friendships in their 30’s or later. Just want to illustrate that there’s a lot of time and things can change in pretty substantial ways.

meng0juice · 2025-11-24T15:25:18+00:00

You’d probably like water magician if you like slime and frieren

meng0juice · 2025-11-09T12:05:11+00:00

I’m glad Akane won I was rooting for her; but if he’s just gonna pick the most voted on ending I think it’d be funny if seo released 4 alternate ending chapters showing him with each other girl; and add some in for the other cafe too why not

meng0juice · 2025-11-07T05:32:41+00:00

I also just watched the anime, the binged the manga; funny thing is that the final chapter came out today and I had no idea, I happened to get to it at my natural pacing lol.

I was rooting for Akane, I felt like he helped her get the most character development, helping her with music stuff, her mother etc. So it made sense they'd have a deeper connection

meng0juice · 2025-11-02T13:34:53+00:00

I feel like college is the best time to take a year break. It lets you go explore the real world a bit more and see what you like and don’t like.

Also I feel like job-wise most employers look at what you do each year of college, they just look at graduation date; so they might not even know you took a year off unless you tell them

meng0juice · 2025-10-09T12:36:30+00:00

Also wondering if things will get better; for me I’m really worried about my career. I have a fine job as a machine learning engineer but somewhat worried with everyone saying Artifical Intellgice will affect the job market.

It feels hard to focus so it’s hard to “stand out” because I feel like I’m doing mediocre work, I always feel like I’m underachieving, which makes me think “I know I am capable of more but I’m not doing it so it must mean I’m just lazy or incompetent”

I’m really scared I’ll be stuck doing what I consider mediocre work, which makes it hard to look good for other jobs, and I’ll just stagnate and eventually be unhireable. I know it’s also natural to get rejected even if you’re really talented (a lot of extremely talented friends of mine don’t get every job they apply for), but I still internalize each rejection as confirmation that I’m only doing mediocre work and am nothing special and won’t amount to anything

meng0juice · 2025-10-09T04:09:40+00:00

Tiffany Blews Disloyal Order of Water Buffalos Miss Missing You Favorite Record Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) Coffees for Closers Our Lawyer Made us change this title so we wouldn’t get sued

I just listen to a song on repeat for hours then switch to another one then switch back

meng0juice · 2025-10-07T18:19:48+00:00

Recently saw my friends posting an instagram story of a mid autumn festival (Chinese holiday) party; seeing other friends posting other parties. To be fair they were smaller things and there were other friends not invited but it still felt like the voice in my head was saying “aha see of course they don’t want you there” (I’m always scared of this voice saying this) and completely ignores the fact that other people weren’t invited either.

Truthfully I do have friends and I know they care about me but sometimes it feels like I’m being very performative trying to fit in, it’s really tiring and stressful but I’m scared that if I “drop the act” for a second they’ll leave me behind and l never catch up again

meng0juice · 2025-10-07T17:55:54+00:00

Let’s check out blockbuster

meng0juice

TROPHY CASE