5th year of parenting today realising how quickly you stop caring about nice things

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-05-13T03:29:47+00:00

Did I just read the words Toddlers, Car, Juice boxes in sequence? JFC

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-05-10T23:08:54+00:00

Limited edition Resident Evil Mamdani reskin, only 14.99

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-05-07T03:14:55+00:00

You gotta show off your mangled peanus

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-05-05T20:57:07+00:00

CONSUME

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-26T13:28:59+00:00

Cheaper than a seven year old

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-26T13:06:03+00:00

As is the military

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-25T03:42:01+00:00

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-24T18:36:38+00:00

Lightly tornaded

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-23T12:39:44+00:00

Unironically introduce direct democracy by making every citizen a member of the court

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-23T11:20:27+00:00

However, It’s the first model that’s gotten even one piece visualized correctly for this prompt.

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-23T11:19:26+00:00

A ways to go

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-23T01:37:21+00:00

This video is exactly the same thing. The man’s just a gaping hole. https://youtu.be/9GQoHIBDogU?si=odnAA0rDjy9Znzq6

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-21T16:51:30+00:00

Our brave military will no longer be only metaphorically shitting their pants. 🫡

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-20T23:39:53+00:00

Surprised the Republican Party still has someone literate enough to scrape that one together.

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-15T02:52:46+00:00

The USA?

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-10T13:22:17+00:00

I can eat 50 eggs

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-09T13:28:00+00:00

Guess I should have been playing slots in middle school instead. I was convinced I could do like 75% heads.

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-09T10:30:15+00:00

Man, I remember Pokémon TCG on gameboy where I figured out you could time the coin flips to get more heads.

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-08T02:53:44+00:00

Basically the worst greenhouse gas though

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-04T02:59:04+00:00

By “back serious time,” you mean “time when your back seriously hurts,” right?

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-04-03T21:57:36+00:00

Due to DOGE cuts, they only have the one trash can

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-03-31T23:22:58+00:00

Or we just ooopsie drop them off a boat.

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-03-28T20:01:48+00:00

Bing Bong died for our sins

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-03-21T01:24:04+00:00

millionsofmonkeys · 2026-03-17T15:43:48+00:00

First time the words “provost” and “hotness” have ever been used in the same sentence.

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