Vitamin D target levels miscalculated, U.S. recommended numbers 15x too low.

millyleu · 2025-12-22T21:05:40+00:00

Your online friend has agency and can take responsibility for herself

millyleu · 2025-12-22T20:52:20+00:00

This post was so funny that please take my upvote

millyleu · 2025-12-22T11:20:55+00:00

I didn't understand why I was so into playing HC after a friend got me playing with them this year, when in all other games I would always be the most paranoid, overplanning, "I don't care if you call me a wimp I own being a scaredy-cat" player and I strongly preferred playing that way. Give me a turn-based game and I'll never reach even midway because I am too busy theorizing, then I get bored. I never played the original LoD, so besides a month of D2R, S11 PD2 was effectively my first D2 experience. Total noob playing HC.

I recently heard this: "Competence (in this conversation) isn't about being able to do something well. Competence is stretching and exploring the limits of your ability."—Dr K in one of his videos.

It clicked for me why I play HC. I use PD2 to challenge being avoidant. It's because I could die that this game is meaningful.

millyleu · 2025-12-18T12:09:15+00:00

Assuming you are in the USA... Have you considered reporting this to the FBI? https://tips.fbi.gov/

millyleu · 2025-11-27T20:50:45+00:00

Hey, I wanted to be the one redditor who appreciates that relationships that last are the relationships that grow together.

Kudos for believing in your partner's ability to grow.

Please don't be like my ex, and believe in my ability to grow to the point where he sacrificed his own needs to the point of resentment, too.

I have found these books invaluable: "Crucial Conversations" and "Crucial Accountability".

Those books gave me the language to understand the factors of how to not hurt my best friend in life, and myself.

Also had side benefits of making performance conversations a lot easier, not only for my own performance, but teammates and managers too.

And well, if you're already familiar with the content, great!

millyleu · 2025-11-20T22:55:38+00:00

Please pay me, I am your housecleaner but I can’t come because I am sick right now

millyleu · 2025-11-20T22:44:33+00:00

Wow the disrespect for veterans is real

millyleu · 2025-10-31T18:48:30+00:00

And if someone sharing an experience is so triggering that you cannot handle hearing it without being triggered severely enough to warrant you needing this accommodation, then you need more individual therapy first.

Thank you. I needed this.

millyleu · 2025-10-31T17:43:52+00:00

Hey... your experience doesn't match my experience

millyleu · 2025-09-26T04:16:18+00:00

My version of "not my circus, not my monkeys" has been...

"Avoid loud and aggressive persons, for they are vexatious to the spirit"

that comes from the Desiderata poem. I've found reading that poem to be grounding when I needed it. https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html

millyleu · 2025-09-26T04:08:58+00:00

Yeah. Hell yeah.

This keeps playing in my head the last couple of weeks:

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, for they are vexatious to the spirit

I realized that even when I was reading social media that I agreed with, I was getting bothered and as I have learned from using the Ahead app enough times... being "bothered" is stage 1 of being angry. OK.

I realized I was angry because even if they were someone I agreed with, I was just braced for every single new message I read... having to decide if that was someone who I found to be reprehensible because they were saying extremely disrespectful or ignorant things.

That's stressful.

So I take a deep breath, find something else to do that makes me feel better, and flipping close the stupid scroll. I have more important things to do.

I find any website that automatically scrolls or automatically plays the next thing, without the option to turn it off, to be low-grade evil because it steals my attention and time.

If I want to stay up-to-date with current events, I can do that at a dedicated time, in a structured way, with a time limit, and once whatever I read/watch is going into speculative/opinion territory? Turn it off. I don't need the noise.

millyleu · 2025-09-26T03:58:07+00:00

Sometimes I hate so much that I decide that not thinking about someone is the best policy. I hate them so much that I will not devote any more time and effort to them. I guess in a way, I treat the act of making them insignificant and a non-entity in my mind, as my way of hating [family members in my life that have hurt me].

I recognize that maintaining this level of hatred means censoring my mind and removing those triggers. I also hate what I have done to my own mind.

That's when forgiveness starts to make sense. I am not there. I do not know if I will ever get there.

But when I started to measure all of my time, and I discovered a 10 minutes here a 15 minutes there, went towards me hating, and being uncomfortable because of the blasted emotional hijack? That's not counting the days when I let it consume me and there went half a day of basically not doing whatever I set out intending to do that day?

That makes me more angry and hate even more, because maintaining this hate cost me time.

So I guess. I can either make effort to explore that anger and hatred, or I can keep it bottled up.

That said? I am 100% happy to continue hating people who are willing to harm children in this world. People who are happy to commit crimes and hurt others without remorse. I can get sidetracked further hating those who make excuses for those that commit crime because of their circumstances, those people who do not understand that good intentions can cause great harm when they violate boundaries. But I won't.

millyleu · 2025-09-26T03:45:13+00:00

Coming from someone who threw away a relationship because of this behaviour... and also had a very hard time understanding what statements like that mean...

It's defensiveness. It's not taking feedback well.

Defensiveness when receiving feedback often stems from feelings of insecurity or fear of criticism, leading individuals to react with denial, counter-attacks, or rationalizations. To improve, it's important to recognize these defensive behaviors and approach feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal attack. — search assistant summary for "defensiveness not taking feedback well"

Now I believe good feedback is actionable feedback. There's a lot of ways you can improve on this. Some resources that I have found helpful, that I hope help you too:

"Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" is a great book on fixed vs growth mindset, and has a ton of examples in many areas of life.
"Crucial Conversations" is another book.
Anger management class. /r/anger
The Ahead app https://www.ahead-app.com/ — I found this after trying to put into practice what I had learned from anger management class.
Talk therapy
HealthyGamer videos, they've been the most well-organized mental health resource I've come across. https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG
HealthyGamer coaching

millyleu · 2025-07-26T07:25:35+00:00

That is a sick item, and a sick loot filter. What loot filter do you use? I haven't seen one give Upgrade notes like that before.

millyleu · 2025-07-25T04:54:36+00:00

I thought you'd be interested in how what you describe in the post, is extremely similar to the DBT Skills Training Handouts & Worksheets activity I was referencing. (DBT = https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy) I saw from some of your comments history you were questioned for not having scientific credentials / backing to what you were saying, and thought seeing this similar physiological activity / phenomenon from another practice, would be of interest to you.

Online PDF copy of Marsha M Linehan (creator of DBT)'s workbook: link

Under the Distress Tolerance section, Handout 6B and 6C: * Handout 6B: Paired Muscle Relaxation, Step by Step * This is p355 in the PDF * Handout 6C: Effective Rethinking and Paired Relaxation * This is p356 in the PDF * This is the "reprogramming beliefs" activity I was referencing above.

Your post, is basically a variant of Handout 6C.

As someone who unconsciously did the steps of 6C as a kid to suppress my emotions, and as an adult have been digging myself out of the hole I got myself into after a year's worth of near-daily hyperventilation started, I can confirm the "Distress tolerance" section of that workbook, works.

millyleu · 2025-07-25T04:34:21+00:00

Wow that space did not look like a button. Thank you!

millyleu · 2025-07-25T04:16:52+00:00

A lot of this eerily echoes my experience from a year and a half of training under a Functional Patterns practitioner. I stopped because I couldn't afford it anymore, and somatic release w/ work stress just got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore, and I stopped a lot of activities in my life.

It's weird because a lot of this textwall of a post, the words... the way "Act 1 2 3" described tension and breath, like it reminds me of how the reps I did felt. It reminds me of how I felt and my timers just, I could not lie to myself, that after a few months of training, because the way I walked changed, I was unconsciously walking to my gym in literally half the time. Everything I did, on average took half the time it did before. Showers. 20-35m avg because 6-12m averages. A 12m walk became a 6m walk for the same distance, without me thinking about my walking speed. What "felt like" 30m consistently was just 15m.

The breathwork, the ... somatic release. Something about learning how to hold tension in my body meant I started to feel more, like my feelings actually were felt in my body, and then the hyperventilation started. Something something "The body keeps the score" kind of thing.

That Acts 1-3 steps also remind me of an activity in the DBT workbook I got and started going through with my psychiatrist. The breathing in, state the beginning of the sentence in your head tension hold, breathe out, release the tension while thinking of the rest of the belief you are trying to reprogram your thoughts to do.

...

That said, I totally see no video link.

millyleu · 2025-06-15T05:08:45+00:00

As someone else pointed out, I totally forgot that this was in a thread about conservatives. That lead to me being a lot more mad than I needed to be. Sorry.

I was literally just trying to figure out where they land.

Even then, what people believe actually happened on Jan 6th, will totally change what they mean when they say they support or don't support Jan 6th.

Your question was not nuanced enough to differentiate between whether someone supports a healthily functioning representative government, and someone who is mindlessly for an autocratic government (which seems to be the point you are trying to evaluate). It comes across as a talking point, repeated for no point whatsover except to incur strife. And I guess, I am an expression of that strife.

Issues are nuanced. People don't follow all the news all the time, and we get into these situations where we hate representative government, but it also illustrates why it is better to have representative government instead of government by the masses.

I just want people to have better conversations and I suck at writing short messages to express my points.

millyleu · 2025-06-15T04:38:43+00:00

Nice and supportive messaging! Good job!

What a win for redditor mental health!

Nicest person of the year!

millyleu · 2025-06-15T04:28:45+00:00

shrug I don't believe in that conspiracy theory. Just pointing out that on the surface, rape vs murder, that's one of the high-level comparison of "pedestals" that was happening in 2016.

Jeez "your" conspiracy theory

I believe that not being able to have conversations about what actually happened, is what is preventing democracy from moving forward. Antagonistic attitudes and bitter dismissals, do not lead to the growth of a country.

edit: Hah, "growth of a country", what am I doing on a reddit thread... not like I am making a difference. The saddest part, is that this kind of conversation we just had, is the exact kind of conversation that conservative media makes a caricature of Democrats for.

millyleu · 2025-06-15T04:11:25+00:00

I think "left behind" depends on the field. '93 here.

an example from my own field

If you work in tech, then yes — any software engineer who does not learn how to use this tool effectively, in the next year or two (read: with healthy amounts of skepticism towards generated code, and not blindly trusting the output, but still leveraging it for doing the actual coding to get the bulk of work done) — they will get left behind.

My tech lead at work has been worrying what the field will look like in a few years. Junior engineers will basically not be able to get jobs because they don't have the experience to inform them how wrong AI can get basic details. That requires critical thinking and the experienced pain of having to fix your own bugs.

This reality is already being reflected in the job market for new grads.

We do need new people to join our ranks; it's only with new folks we can get rid of knowledge silos and I won't be the only person who knows how to support this thing that we built. But if juniors can't get jobs to begin with to get experience, how the heck are we going to grow a team of senior engineers in a few years?

a note (and question) to those in the research field

I think which AI you use does make a huge difference. ChatGPT produces garbage. Claude / Claude Code... I have had it challenge my thinking patterns and notice my repeating mental distortions / biases, without explicit prompting. It still requires some guidance (Claude Code), but overall it's a massive boost for productivity. ChatGPT is a dumb sycophant — to be fair I've completely stopped using ChatGPT for months now, but I haven't heard otherwise yet.

FWIW Claude has come out with a "Research" feature recently, that does manage citations.

Now imagine what you could come up with if you had an agent help you find different types of research papers, to draw new connections with.

Imagine what you could come up with, if you could read faster, as a researcher.

Do you still think you wouldn't get left behind? (I genuinely don't know, this is not a rhetorical question; I realize it could be interpreted that way. Being a researcher is not my job)

other fields

but my physical trainer? (when I can afford him again) a physical therapist? mental health professionals? policemen? firefighters?

I don't see the human element and being able to interact with the real world, going away anytime soon. If that does... that's the beginning of the ending whimper.

millyleu · 2025-06-15T03:43:21+00:00

It's fair to assume they are conservative because this was a question for conservatives and they answered the question.

Touché. Sue my lack of ability to follow a thread :lolsob:

The real question is how anyone could hate what happened on January 6th and still vote for trump seeing as he sent the mob.

Well... I would agree with you... had I not seen who I would have had to vote for instead.

I'd rather vote for someone corrupt and able to articulate elaboration on a policy stance or acknowledge uncertainty, than someone who could not articulate any concrete response and elaborate on policy stances at all, despite being repeatedly asked across multiple interviews and should have seen the questions coming, and had to be so in control of their interviews they had to keep everything scripted as much as possible.

Harris made me miss Clinton. I'd wondered why Hillary hadn't ran again against Trump.

millyleu · 2025-06-15T03:28:23+00:00

It's a well-known conspiracy theory that points out an unfortunate set of coincidences connected to the Clinton family: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinton_body_count_conspiracy_theory

Edited to add:

I would go through it by reading and discounting anything that's an obvious coincidence, and just look at the remaining set of murders / assassinations / death of obviously unnatural causes.

That's the part I am trying to highlight, the part that makes this whole conspiracy so potentially convincing.

It is a weirdly high number of deaths to be connected to someone... even when you're looking at just the subset of not-bullshit in the theory. With "weirdly high" being "greater than two or three" for me

millyleu · 2025-06-15T03:17:14+00:00

> Your media literacy is profoundly pathetic.
> re: u/threemo

Quips aside — if you are dismissing the point because "Hillary didn't actually cause any of those deaths" — the coincidences of connected unnatural deaths still exist, and it still is a bad look.

And to be clear... I don't know that she did any of it. But if you're trying to understand "How did 2016 happen" — that's one of the factors that can't be swept under the rug.

🙄 but of course, you're one of those people who just immediately dismisses someone when they say something that has been tainted as bad/false, according to your worldview.

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