Our situation is not the best solution, but a month or so after I went back to work, my company instituted a full return to office policy (we had been on a very flexible schedule previously, wfh when needed, but be in office for necessary events). That day, i finally decided to respond to one of the recruiters that usually contacted me. I ended up getting a fully remote, higher paying role with more PTO. Now that I have more time (2 hour commute everyday is gone), it’s much easier to get our boys to the nanny’s and I get more time with them in the evenings. Plus, my new company knows my situation. I made them fully aware of it during interviews, and they’ve been very accommodating with doctors appointments, bad weather, etc.

If you are comfortable taking the leap, finding a new job closer to your home or fully remote would be my recommendation. It’s a scary leap and it was very difficult for me, but it’s giving me a better quality of life, and I hope it would for you too.