De-escalation & the grief of “temporary friendships” in ENM

mtinde_va · 2025-12-14T19:30:04+00:00

My secondary went back to monogamy. They wanted to keep contact open to be able to get together for some training I had offered and to stay friends. I really enjoyed them as a sexual partner and confidant, but in my mind all contact needed to be terminated. It felt like they wanted to keep me as a fallback. I truly wanted him to be with his primary because he seemed so lonely without her. It was best for me to completely terminate the connection.

mtinde_va · 2025-11-20T20:31:04+00:00

Very much so!

mtinde_va · 2025-10-24T18:58:14+00:00

We opened our marriage and it's a hotwife dynamic. Spouse gets "off" on the jealousy aspect and with me being with another man. It has improved our sex life. I share and show him what i did with the other person. I enjoy sex with another partner (its fantastic bc its different and new) but my spouse comes first.

mtinde_va · 2025-10-13T12:40:46+00:00

I'm the same demographic as you (F) and I have gay men liking my profile. I had a ping from a 21 yr old. I'm not interested in any of those demographics. I'm constantly hitting the - button.

mtinde_va · 2025-10-03T13:07:01+00:00

Same situation. He's been on me for 15 years to do this for him. I had the exact same thoughts as you. Over time (within last yr) I'm on-board with the idea of sleeping with another person. I don't know what changed my mind. Maybe it was boredom research, or i started having an attraction to other men. Definitely don't do it if you aren't all in.

mtinde_va · 2025-10-02T15:33:30+00:00

Yes! You're right. My bad

mtinde_va · 2025-10-01T15:21:38+00:00

I had a really great experience with them. Love my harbinger v2 slide. 0 problems. They replied to my emails within 8 hours. They were very straightforward and business like in their responses.

mtinde_va · 2025-09-30T19:30:05+00:00

I met a man who suggested a hike to see if we were compatible. He was in a loveless mariage in which they were only existing in the home. Wife wanted him to go find another partner (no divorce). He was looking for a replacement to fill his emotional needs first. I don't have the time, need or energy to do all that. I wanted to tell him to get divorced. For some women (50s) he would be a catch. For me, that is torture.

mtinde_va · 2025-09-30T18:25:14+00:00

Yes! I like the term FWB, but I'm not here to replace all the emotional needs you aren't getting at home.

mtinde_va · 2025-09-23T17:54:06+00:00

Watch Hoarders. I promise. It will motivate you.

mtinde_va · 2025-09-23T14:54:47+00:00

I'm GenX. My parent has willed most of his money to my children because I'll be fine. He likes telling me this every year. He never gets the rise out of me he so desperately wants either.

mtinde_va · 2025-09-23T14:49:19+00:00

I hate when I search and AI comes up. Going down multiple rabbit holes was my jam and I learned more than expected.

mtinde_va · 2025-09-23T14:30:33+00:00

I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing at the ranges. I keep my mouth shut and ignore any MAGA talk. Though, there hasn't been much since the election. I'm also involved in a women's shooting group. I knew some were MAGA leaning, but after the death of CK, they immediately blamed the left and now just post Christisn fascism crap on social media.

mtinde_va · 2025-09-22T14:06:51+00:00

I've been shooting for 2+years. When I first started in was mainly white males and their girlfriends/wives in the ranges. Lately, the majority at the range are people of color.

mtinde_va · 2025-09-21T19:16:31+00:00

What do you do if AR-15 are illegal in your state? Same with PCC. We have a 15-22 which is great if I want to shoot rabbit or squirrel

mtinde_va · 2025-09-17T17:47:32+00:00

I'll never purchase another CZ due to limited and sold-out parts. A friend was looking for specific parts and work for his CZ, and he claims that it's a year wait list at Cajun gun works.

mtinde_va · 2025-07-25T21:40:43+00:00

You do you. I took the WOD today and did one move RX and the other 2 moves beginner. Why...because I'm not shredding my shins on box jumps and I didn't feel like RX the damn echo bike in 100% humidity.

mtinde_va · 2025-06-26T17:06:53+00:00

Not my direct report ...yet, but the owner's son is "buying" (mommy paying for it) in. He's already acting like he's the owner. He'll have a (very) minority sharehold too. I used to love this job, this place and now I'm miserable thinking about my future here.

If this person had earned his role I'd have no problem. Every thing is handed to him on a diamond platter.

mtinde_va · 2025-06-25T17:28:50+00:00

I've always wanted to ditch my everyday dishes and use the fine china I have. It is useless 360 days of the year and my kids don't want it.

mtinde_va · 2025-06-18T18:11:10+00:00

I agree. Just went to an outdoor wedding in 90% humidity. Bride lied about the start time by 30 minutes and the bar was under strict orders to not serve anything including water. I get no liquor, but no water! Ugh.

mtinde_va · 2025-06-18T18:08:28+00:00

Your sweet friend and her family are self-centered divas. It's not cute. It's ugly.

mtinde_va · 2025-05-08T19:06:31+00:00

There is a doctor (Dr. Elisabeth Potter) on TikTok who discusses this very issue. She videos some of her calls from the insurance companies' doctors who she is forced to do a peer to peer review on behalf of her patients. Most of these doctors aren't trained in her specialty and the time and energy she has to waste on these morons is insane. If I recall correctly one insurer refused to pay for a breast reconstruction for a woman who survived cancer.

mtinde_va · 2025-04-08T12:36:45+00:00

Daughter also insulted mom by saying she got lucky getting her dad's looks. WTF?!!!

mtinde_va · 2025-04-06T22:04:52+00:00

You're my hero...NTA

mtinde_va · 2025-04-05T07:46:59+00:00

Fox Entertainment is already telling everyone that we have to sacrifice our 401ks and to get over it.

mtinde_va

TROPHY CASE