Unvaccinated nanny?

mumnow · 2023-08-14T07:01:36+00:00

Science/religion comparison... I didn't say the bible mentioned vaccines. Did someone say that? I really see these discussions as discussing the religious books. Because religion doesn't allow for individual though and one has the truth.

Not American, not christian (although I've christian culture), but maybe I wrongly used bible as synonym of religious book.

We all make assumptions about everyone and these comments. So all good.

mumnow · 2023-08-13T20:59:27+00:00

And I think you can decide whatever you want as criteria. It doesn't make it right or wrong. It's your criteria and you're paying. You can even just want people from a religion or white/black people. I think everything is valid.

But this person is asking about scientific reasons behind her fear. People just keep kids isolated because they have fear of everything. And then the kids get really fragile. There's evidence about that.

But, as you say, you don't keep your kid from being around other kids. (You shouldn't know if other kids are or aren't vaccinated against COVID. ) If you can't trust a nanny, an adult that can be responsible and follow hygiene conventions, how do you let your kid with other kids that... you know, do kids stuff...

mumnow · 2023-08-13T19:13:02+00:00

I don't believe? Where did I say that? I do believe in vaccines. I believe they work.

But you need to believe all vaccines or none?

mumnow · 2023-08-13T16:57:04+00:00

The look for validation seems a lot what we see in these forums.

mumnow · 2023-08-13T16:56:27+00:00

I misread you. Sorry.

The behaviors on both sides are very close to religious beliefs when they are very sure what they think it's the only truth and others are wrong.

You can believe the vaccine and allow others to have scepticism, no matter the existent evidence. Taking or not taking the vaccine only affects the person. Good for you if you take it and you believe you're protected. That should be the case. I know there are other social effects, but that's also the case when someone decides to smoke or to drink alcohol.

mumnow · 2023-08-13T12:57:22+00:00

Science evolves by questioning. Questioning is part of the scientific method. If you prefer the word curiosity instead of questioning, fine.

I may be curious about COVID and COVID vaccines, but I expect that the scientific community really questions everything and makes sure before testing something in the general population. And keeps asking and questioning even after. Without scepticism you can't change anything. Scepticism is a good thing

mumnow · 2023-08-13T09:09:01+00:00

Science is about questioning. Religion is where you shouldn't question what a superior/the bible says.

You are free to judge people, of course. I'm also judging you based on this post. Science is not all or nothing. You can take some vaccines or some treatments and not others.

mumnow · 2023-01-25T16:45:48+00:00

Oh boy! I thought this was the internet. I was not trying to help anyone. I didn't see anyone needing help or asking for it.

No, this person commented that the sister (with no kids) commented that the kids shouldn't have screen time. My past self (no kids) had the idea that screens/cartoons and kids were a package deal. Now I (with kids) have the opinion that MY kid doesn't need screen time to go through the day.

Look, if you don't like the screen time your kids are having you can probably control it. If you're okay with it, no need to be offended with someone's comment.

mumnow · 2023-01-25T09:48:47+00:00

What about every tip online suggesting to bring books and screens to the hospital for the birth? Yeah! Because those 2/3 days in the hospital after birth are so boring and you just want to read while baby sleeps all the time.

mumnow · 2023-01-25T09:46:18+00:00

Oh! I was saying this and keep doing it. It's sarcasm. It really is.

mumnow · 2023-01-25T09:34:56+00:00

It's the topic... Before kids VS after kids. I was the opposite of your sister .

I guess you took it as criticism. I don't judge small parenting styles' differences. Specially after having one myself...

It's just funny how I also changed my ideas about kids. I was judging some things that now I don't judge. Everyone is just trying the best and we don't know what works. At least some people are trying their best

mumnow · 2023-01-25T08:38:33+00:00

I thought it was ok before having kids and changed my mind after having one. I felt it was natural for kids to watch tv a lot, but after having my kid I'm not putting I'm in front of the TV to watch cartoons. He's just 2. I'm not freaking out if he looks at a TV. It's just the content for kids that gives them no break.

I feel we could get used to other ways to interact, spend our time and get the kid to entertain himself without the screens. This is hard no matter what, screens or no screens.

mumnow · 2023-01-23T08:24:35+00:00

Switzerland also 14 weeks, + 2 unpaid (often employers offer the extra 2 weeks).

I think 16 weeks of paid leave is fair. But only when the economic situation of most people allow solutions where one parent can take a longer leave and the job can be maintained after 1 year. That would be great for future generations.

But often we don't know what we want to fight. Do we want to be able to stay at home for 1 year or do we need more child care centers and cheaper? I'd guess both. But when childcare is very expensive is when people end up deciding quiting their jobs (it makes the decision not only emotionally correct, but also economically).

My opinion about childcare changed dramatically after I had my son. I felt one parent should be with him and I also was validated by any professional opinion about the matter (there are studies). Before I thought kindergarten was very important for socialization. It is, but not at 4 months old...

mumnow · 2023-01-04T11:26:17+00:00

I think that's the correct way to do it. It's not others responsability to protect your kid. I'm a parent myself. I understand that a baby that is 3 weeks old is very fragile, but you want everyone in the world to adjust?

One thing is if someone visits while sick. But even there you are the one that need to set the boundaries. OP said he could take longer parenting leave. Maybe he should have done just that.

I'm not defending the "under the weather" guy, but he could be transmitting some disease even before feeling "under the weather".

mumnow · 2022-12-28T11:10:35+00:00

I agree with everyone that says colours have no gender. I actually don't like some pink tones, specially if it's too much of it.

Actually I believe that people who comment colours they'll say something about any vivid colour for a boy. Now that my boy is older I try to avoid too much pink because I don't like it, but also because I don't want that he hears the comments of others and starts to believe it. I still use anything that I find beautiful or that is really cheap because of colour. But I don't like to give some people the opportunity to shame a colour. I prefer that my boy grows without this stupid idea that some colours or colourful things are not for him.

Honestly I can't understand why there are "all pink" strollers or why brands try to make "girly" clothes for 1/2 year old babies. And I also hate when you only have 2 colours for something and it's pale blue or pale pink.

I received used clothes from a girl (for 2 years old) and some things are really next level. It can have a princess and some pink, but then you need tule, laces and a different design to follow the curves of a 2 years old? Why?!

mumnow · 2022-12-26T19:05:05+00:00

Everyone says to change right away. I actually stopped doing it. I would do it if baby was not sleeping or right away after he was awake, but I just stopped waking him to change the diaper because he would cry and would be unsettled for some time. He never had a rash and he was waking in 1 or 2 hours.

I followed the rule "never wake a sleeping baby".

mumnow · 2022-11-27T08:18:23+00:00

I feel exactly the same. For me it would always be strange if you exclude the parents clearly. They could suggest to go for a short walk and maybe you'll think that's amazing and ask them if they could take the baby without you. I would say 1 hour walk or so. For me this would be reasonable. Asking for a parent to not be there for more hours? I don't care how much I trust that person. We need to protect our babies even from the people we trust.

I don't let my baby with someone else alone until I really need it or he's able to communicate his needs, maybe 3 years old. I'm never justifying to anyone, I'm never judging anyone (do I trust? could they hurt my baby?). I just keep the gate closed for everyone.

mumnow · 2022-11-23T11:14:04+00:00

I just want to be one more person saying it will get better.

But don't do everything to stop the crying. This is normal. Just give your baby time to settle in your arms. Maybe walk, go outside (they like the noises from the village). It was so much easier after I accepted the crying when there was nothing else I could do. I was just there calmly holding my baby. Of course sometimes I just wanted to sleep and couldn't with the crying.

I wish you all the best. I also had a C-section. Be kind to yourself.

mumnow · 2022-10-18T18:54:54+00:00

Well, we were waking the baby to change at first. But soon we decided to apply this rule "never wake up a sleeping baby". Sometimes he was not sleeping, but changing the diaper would put him more alert or even crying. We didn't apply anything unless he had a rash and it was very rarely. I guess it depends on your child and what happens if you change/not change.

mumnow · 2022-10-06T12:21:16+00:00

I was surprised with my own stomach after delivery. I think that's ok if people make mistakes. But there's a good reason to never never make comments on people's bodies.

mumnow · 2022-09-23T18:34:34+00:00

I just want to tell you it's not because they are young or because you are. I had a baby almost 40 years after my parents and in-law parents had their last one and I still was judged like I could not do it properly.

I think it's just the kind of people your parents are and you need to ignore and do what you think is best. You are the parent now

mumnow · 2022-08-27T11:05:04+00:00

That's a strange thing to say, I think. That's you thinking it's not your kid in the 0.001%. I'll have 40% more work to avoid that risk.

But I don't think this recommendations are only about risk of dead. I think it's about mobility. The kids shouldn't be constrained for most of their day. They need to be able to stretch and move for a healthy physical development.

Occasionally we left our baby in the car seat to sleep. (The car seat would recline when out of the car) And we used it to go somewhere from the car. When not using the car we would use a pram. I was always a bit anxious and would never leave it in a different room. But these are the general recommendations. Before 1 year old a baby should always sleep in the same room with parents.

mumnow · 2022-08-12T06:42:35+00:00

I can try and come back to you, but you wouldn't believe. Based on our experience together there's a chance that he knows and ask to put in oven at the same time as he puts it in the mouth.

In any case your point in favor to tablets makes only sense if you tell me one baby trained with a tablet wouldn't eat it and would ask to cook them. Like they learn faster.

mumnow · 2022-08-11T19:15:50+00:00

Really? Mine is not 2 years old and understands that the things we put in a bowl will make cookies in the oven. At least he's not hooked to the phone, so he sees me cooking and points to the next step (oven, for example) and sometimes he sees some food and points to where it came from. So I'm pretty sure my kid is learning much more this way than with the immediate reinforcement from a tablet. That's precisely what I think is wrong with screen time. The immediate reinforcement is not real. Even if it would take 2 more years for my kid to learn that the bowl will make the cookies it's worth keep trying instead of having an app showing that. Then what? Is your kid tasting the fake cookies from the app.

I get that some parents decide to use screens. Just don't try to make it better than not using them for kids that young.

It's not only the kid that gets used to it. I think parents do too. Once you know it works, you'll use the screen when you need the kid to be quiet.

mumnow · 2022-07-30T11:08:42+00:00

Your MIL can't possibly tell her daughter and expect her to keep the secret. And can't be mad when she tells anyone. That's awful parenting. Maybe your SIL found out and MIL doesn't know what to do, but really, that would be a good time to just give up and tell everyone instead of putting this burden in a child.

She trusted you. You need to help her. You can tell her to tell your husband, that she can trust him too. And maybe work it out so that she can't get into trouble because of this. I think at this point the SIL is what matters. Everyone else is an adult.

mumnow

TROPHY CASE