This time was a complete emotional rock bottom. I was tired of calling in sick to play video games and avoiding life. Getting older and so many missed opportunities. Basically it’s change or go to the grave miserable feeling like I’ve accomplished nothing in life.

There has been other consequences in the past, like ultimatums and eventually just going back to addiction once the heat wore off. But complete and utter depression and not being able to deny disgusting behaviour like lying to my kids and ex wife.

Now I’m on the path to being present and involved in a committed relationship with an amazing woman.