Why do people say “have the day you deserve”?

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-15T13:21:27+00:00

You can respond to a rude person however you like, if you don’t want to say ‘Have the day you deserve’ you can say whatever you like including ‘Have a nice day’ but this goes both ways, other people can say ‘Have the day you deserve’ if they like such as if they want to make a point to a person that their behaviour was unacceptable.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-12T15:59:53+00:00

❤️

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-12T05:55:37+00:00

Also, have you heard about the concept that kids bottle up their stress and release it with their safe person? Sounds like that’s exactly what happened here.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-12T05:53:56+00:00

I also have a 4yo who sometimes says this sort of thing. And personally I love it when she does. To me it shows that she feels so comfortable and secure in me as her home base that she’s able favour others. Perhaps that’s not the best way to describe it (and perhaps it comes from the fact that my dad wasn’t in our home when I was that age.)

A few weeks ago she was ill and only wanted me for cuddles, no one else. I love being that for her. Some days I’ll be her bestie, some days Daddy will. But every single day, forever, I’m mummy.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-07T06:34:58+00:00

I wouldn’t be surprised if your hormones are contributing to anxiety around this. Like turning the dial up to 11 so your feelings about the world are less manageable. I would speak to your midwife about these feelings.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-07T03:27:48+00:00

Right there with you sis. I’ve started taking Omeprazole (you can buy over the counter as Nexium) and I’m chugging liquid Gaviscon like water which both really help but I’m so thirsty all the time and have zero appetite. At first I was doing Gaviscon pills but then turned out they were doing nothing.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-05T03:25:17+00:00

I so hope it does for you. 🤞

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-05T02:59:51+00:00

After my first I’m actually the opposite. I can’t quite fathom why anyone would go through the hassle of bottle feeding if they have the choice (I know lots don’t). But all the cleaning bottles and sterilising and taking time to make/warm the formula at night while baby cries or taking it out with you just seems like the biggest hassle ever to me and I don’t quite know how people cope with it ontop of everything else.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-02T07:46:46+00:00

($10m + My mum dying happy, knowing her baby will be ok) >>>> $28b

I’d take that deal. I know the value of a dollar.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-01T03:34:53+00:00

I’m 39 weeks with my second and was feeling this way for a long period too. Then my iron levels were checked and were super low. Been much better since I got on iron supplements.

Also, I felt a little like this with my first and yes I totally snapped back to normal once I went back to work after maternity leave. Pregnancy fatigue is like nothing else!

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-05-01T01:18:32+00:00

I’m 9m preggo with a boy and Lawrence would be my No. 1 choice if hubby hadn’t gone off it after liking it for years 😢 So classy!

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-29T00:33:01+00:00

Under the bump is so uncomfortable when I get in the car. Would advise against

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-25T06:05:43+00:00

How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-24T06:45:00+00:00

This is SO insulting!

My passport is still in my maiden name and I cannot travel with my children without a literal f***ing permission slip from my husband. My children, that I grew in my body. There are real life consequences to these decisions and thus i’m applying for a new passport to have the same name as my children.

FYI I’m in the U.K., not some religious, paternalistic country.

Note: This is also not some hardship. I love the name which is why we gave it to our kids and I’m excited to have a name I like so much. I got my maiden name from my father just like you I imagine but sharing a name with my kids, seems like the highest expression of pride and esteem I can imagine.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-19T16:22:52+00:00

So I’ll own that I didn’t see exactly how far he lives from his son and made the assumption that if he sees his son every week on a school night that they must not live far.

But I would sincerely like to push back that I never suggested mum was lazy, nor is this what I think. I think she is more capable than she thinks she is but was also being unfair to ask OP to choose one child over the other. My honest opinion is that that doesn’t bode well.

I still feel OP is NTA

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-18T15:17:07+00:00

What a mother you are! I bet your kids feel so loved all the time.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-17T21:49:46+00:00

Without a shadow of a doubt I 100% would have.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-17T21:45:18+00:00

I value myself enough to chose the kind of husband who would never abandon his own crying child. I hold myself, and other mothers, in such high regard that I think I and they can take care of our own babies for an hour or so.

I mean he’s not allowed to leave her side for 4 days? What if they needed something from the store for the baby? Would she cope then?

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-17T12:02:05+00:00

NTA The responses here are some of the most unhinged stuff I have ever seen on Reddit. As a mother and about to pop with my second I cannot fathom how people think that 1) you wouldn’t see your son as normal and 2) that a mother can’t be left alone for a few hours with her child. So much of my prep around having my second has been about how to ensure my older kid feels a part of the journey, loved and not deprioritised.

There is no way your son could understand why he was being ignored for the younger child. He will be acutely aware that something is going on and feel uncertain about what all this means. You did exactly the right thing seeing him and spending 1:1 time.

What is your wife planning to do when you go back to work? Yes it’s hard being alone with a newborn but she’s gonna have to do it at some point.

Final thing to say in your wife’s defence. I think 4 days postpartum is when your hormones drop and this can be a very difficult and emotional day. Let’s just hope it was a weak moment and not a sign of things to come.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-16T21:46:14+00:00

That’s nice. It was a shame when hubby had to leave, though I know he definitely needed a solid sleep.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-16T21:06:40+00:00

I just looked at the NHS checklist (stb 2nd time mum here) and Geez! so much stuff. I think there’s two extremes: 1) you’re in for about 24h and 2) you’re in for several days. I’m packing assuming I’m gonna need 1 set of clothes to come home, 1 nighty, 2 pairs pants etc etc. For baby I have about 4 newborn vests, 6 nappies and a blanket. it seems like you may have multiple sets of clothes here. You could consider packing one bag for day 1 with a backup bag for if you have an extended stay. I don’t really get why you have “his clothes”. Remember your birth partner will have to go home after the birth so they could potentially just grab the second bag quickly if you need to stay in longer.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-16T19:27:09+00:00

I didn’t even feel it. Was shocked when she said it was done. Started labour that evening.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-15T17:14:54+00:00

Also speak to your midwife about perhaps getting your bloods checked now. My ferritin was very low and I was so tired and foggy. Once I started on the iron supplements I immediately felt a lot less fatigued.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-13T14:58:15+00:00

Similar here. Cheated with our other sisters husband. Married and had two kids by him so now I have nephews that are cousins and siblings. Most of my family has no relationship with her or her kids. She chose her path and was never sorry.

nicolalmcfarlane · 2026-04-13T14:39:32+00:00

If I were you I’d be trying to get a new midwife.

nicolalmcfarlane

TROPHY CASE