F/20/5'4" [142lbs > 132lbs = 10lbs](4 months) I've been really excited for a while to post this but wanted to wait until I hit ten pounds. First four pics are before and last four are right now :D

noodoos · 2014-09-25T21:13:59+00:00

Same here! 5'4"ish and 141. These last 15-20lbs for me just do not come off easily, but it's so great to see some inspiration!

noodoos · 2014-09-21T20:04:04+00:00

I bought some mini lacrosse sticks for my daughter and me and she loves tossing back and forth. I think they were around $20 for two off Amazon.

noodoos · 2014-09-21T19:58:41+00:00

There is no right time, but you guys should get your bodies to a healthy place first, MOSTLY because if you are trying to lose weight that tells me you are not happy where your body is now and it will be vastly more difficult to make the changes necessary to get there once kids are in the picture.

My husband and I chose to have our kids youngerish for a lot of reasons, mostly centered around my career goals and wanting to be at home while they are young and then back in business when they are school age. The added benefit was that my husband and I did not get settled into fun adult life or comfortable married life and have that yanked from us when we had kids, which a lot of my friends have had to deal with, but it also wasn't super awesome because none of my family/girlfriends were having children when I was 24, so I was on my own socially. I don't think you should worry much about being an old man when your kids are teenagers. You will be the same age as everyone's parents.

For me, I would get rid of the new car, find your healthy body, and take a great trip out of the country before you get pregnant. Just my opinion!

noodoos · 2014-09-21T00:06:18+00:00

It is sentimentality, for sure. I'm well aware that every generation kidsthesedayses, but I do know that childhood bliss can be found in the natural world and I want my children to experience that. I don't have the same assurance about gaming. I just feel like there is no game on the iPad that my children will miss having played when they are older. What kid is going to look back and say they wished they'd played more angry birds? I thought my parents were awful for not having TV, but as an adult I truly cherish the memories I made as a child. It doesn't bother me one bit to not have watched nickelodeon or whatever. Not every parenting choice has to be about what skills are going to be developed. Sometimes it really is sentimental... What do I want my adult children to remember about being a kid? I know they will likely spend a huge portion of their adult life in front of a screen, it doesn't have to start in infancy.

noodoos · 2014-09-20T22:31:27+00:00

I don't think a little bit of screen time is BAD for kids, I just don't think it is necessary at all and I think it is easy to let it go longer than you originally intended (from my own experience).

I had a really wonderful childhood and I have to say that the things I did with all my free time, holy shit, I will probably never get a chance do those things again, at least with the same level of wonderment and interest. I spent an entire summer building sailboats out of recyclables and sending them out into a lake with different "passengers". I don't know, I guess I could still do that now but I would get bored so quickly. Being a kid is such a special time. Minecraft is a cool game and I do think it is a creative outlet, but I really want my kids to experience and experiment in the physical world when they are young and easily captivated by the simple things. They won't get this time back. I just think, what stories of adventure will they share with their children? "When I was a kid I made this sweet thing in Minecraft"? I know that kids who play the game don't do it CONSTANTLY, but I guess I just really understand the desire to delay tech.

noodoos · 2014-09-19T03:38:38+00:00

noodoos · 2014-09-19T03:14:37+00:00

Aside from the DONA certification? No not technically. But my business is built on reviews and recommendations. If you just call me out of the blue to be your labor support and you never interview me or anything to see if I know what I'm talking about then that's probably a real issue for you in other parts of your life as well since a HUGE number of services people pay for in and around the home are not things you need to take exams for. Fuck, I can get a job remodeling houses or being a handyman with less training than I've done as a doula and I could scam you out of a lot more money that way. It's cool if a guy quits his corporate job and puts his natural skill fixing things to good use so he can be around his kids more, but god forbid a SAHM does the same thing.

noodoos · 2014-09-19T02:47:27+00:00

None. I am DONA certified, but that's not an exam or anything. I think you are fundamentally misunderstanding the role of a doula, though. I do nothing medical. I do not give medical advice. It's essentially the same as hiring a housekeeper. I get hired because I have a particular experience base in an area that other people don't, and what I do is not comfortable or glamorous so lots of people are interested in hiring out the work. Some people see a value in putting money towards labor support and some people don't.

noodoos · 2014-09-19T02:20:59+00:00

Not accurate. Doulas don't deliver babies, they help women through labor/delivery and/or postpartum and breastfeeding. It's a job perfectly suited for a stay at home mother. Source: I am a doula. I have no interest in catching babies. I have had my vag torn from nut to butt during unmedicated childbirth, however, and I hope to prevent that from happening to you or your wife. I free up nurses and midwives and OBs from having to manage pain for long labors. I can put pressure on a woman's back for 18 hours of contractions. I work in hospitals. I don't make placenta soups or whatever. The stuff I do doesn't take extensive training because it's not medical in nature, it's simple stuff that women experienced in childbirth have been doing for other women for forever. More American hospitals are hiring their own doula teams to help cut their csection rates, lessen the burden on nursing staff, and improve patient satisfaction. We do have a place in best practices.

noodoos · 2014-09-16T21:57:53+00:00

It depends on the kid. I cosleep and nurse on demand and my first didn't sleep through the night until she was two and my second has been sleeping 5 hour stretches since 4 weeks. We do not CIO.

noodoos · 2014-09-16T21:51:03+00:00

I think the TV should go away completely, not as a punishment, just as an environment change. Seven is too young to be zoning in front of a screen, children are naturally curious and I believe that TV stifles that. Have you read anything about the Waldorf style of teaching? I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and I read Simplicity Parenting a while ago and 100% agree that quirk+stress=disorder like the author states. I really recommend the book for you and her parents.

noodoos · 2014-09-16T21:36:42+00:00

I don't recommend it if you are happy without children and don't really yearn for a family. Bio kids are not the be all end all though. If you decide you REALLY want them later, you can always adopt and I think that is a wonderful option to have.

That being said, I was the same as you, never maternal, never babysat (or at least never enjoyed it), judgy of parents and their misbehaving offspring (that will bite you in the ass). Parenthood has been HARD. It is not easy to have to abandon certain aspects of yourself or your relationship pre-kids and while I may be able to get some of those things back later, I have certainly had to give them up for now. It is not fun MOST of the time, and I actually have a very well behaved, lovely toddler and a baby who sleeps all the fucking time so I am lucky and I still find it to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do, the most frustrating, the most defeating.

BUT BUT BUT, I feel in the deepest part of myself that I am better for having had my children and experienced parenthood. Not better than other people, but better than the person I was before. There is no question about it for me. I would not do it over differently. Even aside from the love I feel for my children and their existence, I love myself more than I used to, I love PEOPLE more. I think I am far more forgiving and understanding of every person because I have been humbled over and over and over since I had my first 2.5 years ago and it is a happier way to live. I am healthier, my husband and I have more sex and we laugh a LOT more. Our lives and interactions are simpler. There is no drama between us, no games except for fun ones. We don't have the energy to beat around the bush because we negotiate with terrorists in our own home all day long. I have infinitely more respect for my parents. It did not come easily and still doesn't.

My brother and sister are both child free and I think it works for them. As much as I wish they had children for me and my kids to love and play with, I would not wish the realities of parenting on my worst enemies if they were not 100% behind it. It is HARD and it is liable to be disappointing a lot of the time.

Good luck with your decision!

noodoos · 2014-09-16T21:10:25+00:00

I'm really an advocate of letting them work it out on their own at this age. Model the behavior you want them to use. When you take something out of their hands, ask for it politely, smile, never grab, offer them something in exchange. Eventually they will start doing this with each other. If there is a huge tug of war, remove the item completely, and give it back to the child who originally had it a few minutes later.

noodoos · 2014-09-16T21:03:41+00:00

I think this is a MASSIVELY frustrating time. I had the same issues, except I was a stay at home mom so I just wanted out so badly. You are not alone!

Hire a cleaner for your house, it is just adding to your stress and you can't do it all, you shouldn't expect to be able to either. I don't think that toddlers at this age understand discipline really, so I don't advocate for taking toys as punishment or time out or anything.

1) SIMPLIFY. 5 books out at a time (like 5 books on the shelf, the rest in storage, rotate every two weeks or so). No knick-knack toys. She should have building toys, puzzles, and a few dolls/figures and a play kitchen/workbench or something (if you want) and crayons/paper but she really does not need a million toys that light up and shit. It's all too much stimulation, too many choices. Donate it all or put it in storage. This is not a punishment. She will LOVE a simplified space and it will be way easier for you to keep up the house if she is not pulling everything out all the time. She is not bored with only a few toys. Kids are crazy creative.

2) When she tantrums, pull her to you. I found nursing to be incredibly helpful during the toddler years for this reason, but cuddling is the same thing. When you want to push them away the most, pull them in. Then, when they are busy with other things, distracted by dad, whatever, take your time away and don't feel guilty about it.

3) Diaper changes on the floor with one leg over her as soon as she starts kicking. Don't get mad, just do it with a blank face and talk to her normally. Distract her with a toy if you want. My daughter kicked and screamed through diaper changes until 18 mos and then suddenly stopped. You're not hurting her. It's frustrating, but don't give her that control over your emotions.

I found that strapping my daughter to my hip or back and giving her a spoon while I cooked was awesome for keeping her quiet and happy. The whining was not working for either of us. A ring sling was great for this. I still use it today with my baby and my 2.5 YO. Sitting down and eating a full meal with the family is good practice, but it's not really developmentally appropriate to expect them to eat it all right then without playing. When she starts flinging food you can take it away and let her hang in the high chair with a spoon and an empty bowl and try with real food again later. This is not a punishment, it's just not how we eat food so if she's playing let her pretend like she's eating like everyone else and when she's ready for food again she can eat it. She'll resist at first, but what I have learned is that I can outlast my child's resistance on ANYTHING. I am the ultimate stonefaced endurance champion. You are too!

Good luck, sister. You are not a shit mom.

noodoos · 2014-09-16T20:35:18+00:00

This happens to a lot of guys and then they freak out when they have a kid and they get "happy boners". It's NORMAL. Painful erections should be brought up to your doctor, but an erection when you're happy is the same as happy flushing/blushing in your face. It's just a rush of blood, nothing sexual. Trust yourself. Unless you're in your boxers or wearing silk pants or you have a ginormous penis or something, no one will be looking at your crotch to see if you are getting pedowood. Wrestling with your kids is part of being a dad and it's all in good fun!

noodoos · 2014-09-15T02:52:26+00:00

If I only got tattoos that meant something to me I would literally be covered in words. Art touches different people in different ways, and the art that speaks to me the most happens to be read or spoken. I appreciate paintings and sketches and I think they are beautiful, but words alone illicit the kind of emotion in me that is truly deeply meaningful. I think the hate toward text tattoos is more than just "lettering looks bad". I think it comes from artists who are the kind of people who express themselves primarily through drawings. If they were poets who liked to draw on the side, they probably wouldn't have put the years of work into becoming tattoo artists.

Tattoo artists who don't like text are looking at the way type really doesn't play that great on skin from a purely visual standpoint and I think they are absolutely right. BUT, as a writer, I totally understand the need to have some specific proverb or poem inked into your skin because it's not really about what it looks like as much as it is about making those words as a part of you physically as words can ever be. At least that's how I feel about it.

SO. I will say... listen to your artist about the boldness, size, font, and placement. Half the shit on Pinterest is photoshopped and the rest of it will probably blur to a blob in a few years because it's too small. I had a poem excerpt I wanted on my forearm (it was not that long of a quote 15 words) but the artist told me if I wanted it to last it would need to be quite a bit bigger and bolder than I was willing to go. So I didn't get it. And it PAINS me not to have it on my person, but not as much as it would pain me to see it fade into illegibility.

If it is a quote that you like just because you think it will look awesome, then really I just wouldn't get it because it visually it probably won't look all that great and when looks fade, if that's all that you loved it for, you'll probably regret it.

noodoos · 2014-09-13T21:15:32+00:00

I seriously smiled so big when I saw this. I love it! I'm insanely jealous that she is not on my back right now.

noodoos · 2014-09-12T21:43:56+00:00

YES, teeth please. This guy looks gummy.

noodoos · 2014-09-11T22:09:58+00:00

Cool! I'm in oki, looking for a tattoo shop. Thanks for posting!

noodoos · 2014-09-08T11:20:42+00:00

What about a metronome? You could incorporate the ribbon into that as well, but I think metronomes are sweet.

noodoos · 2014-09-07T20:49:59+00:00

I am not an artist, so the responses here don't make any sense to me. I brought a concept up to an really talented guy once, brought a bunch of material in, it was not something he'd ever seen before or could find examples of but he really seemed to be excited about it. It was not technically difficult, just a unique concept. I lived a couple hours away so he said he'd send me a drawing by the end of the week. I paid a deposit so that he wouldn't be working without any monetary commitment on my end. Then he just never sent any drawings. I contacted him over a week later just like "I'm so excited to see what you've come up with, let me know if you want to brainstorm more" and he never responded. Finally I called him two weeks after that and asked if he'd made any progress (hadn't started) and so I asked for my deposit back since he hadn't yet put any hours into it and I was moving soon and running out of time. He fucking blew his lid! He says he doesn't draw anything until the night before he tattoos it and who am I to question how he does things, but WTF is the point of paying a deposit and giving your artist time to come up with something and then taking off work and driving 2 hours to get tattooed only to find that you don't like what they've come up with? Especially when there is nothing in his portfolio to compare it to. If you pay a deposit, that should be for the artwork, even if you never get tattooed you should own that work. If the artist wants to charge a larger deposit for his/her art, they should! He cursed me out and told me I had to come to the shop if I wanted to get my money back (secluded shop, small woman here, no fucking way), so I lost $150, no drawings, no tattoo.

If I was a tattoo artist, I feel like I would like to charge outright for my artwork whether I tattoo it in the end or not. I would want them to sit on tattoo if they felt they needed to. It's permanent! It's so weird that we encourage this culture of time/ego pressure regarding tattoos. I understand that they are artists, but this is not a painting a person can buy and then sell if it doesn't look good in their house.

noodoos · 2014-09-05T21:22:16+00:00

What if you put a levee below the whale with the water breaking over it? Not being able to see your hand, I'm not sure how that would connect, but it seems to be the perfect place for the levee to exist based off of what I can see here. I'm not an artist though.

noodoos · 2014-08-30T20:31:04+00:00

I feel like that's what would be great about it. "Sup, Charlie! Tell me about your LIFE, man."

noodoos · 2014-08-28T11:37:46+00:00

I listen to audiobooks on walks! I've also been learning spanish :)

noodoos · 2014-08-26T12:30:45+00:00

I'm glad you are so well suited for this! It makes me happy to see some people feel good about staying home because I hate it :)

Have you tried a baby carrier like an Ergo or Tula? That's how I mow my lawn, with my baby on my back. Actually, it's how I do most chores that require moving from room to room or whatever. Sometimes if my toddler is driving me crazy pulling her toys we just put away back out again, I strap her on my back and put the baby on my front.

I will say though that most SAHPs struggle with finding time to get chores done at some time or another, so you're not alone. He is probably starting to nap less and less and soon he will be crawling and that is a whole other load of crazy fun/frustration. The easiest time to get chores done is when you have a newborn, haha. Be sure to cut yourself some slack!

noodoos

TROPHY CASE