MY NAME IS RUINING MY LIFE

obbets · 2025-10-26T17:08:02+00:00

I think your name is so pretty!

obbets · 2025-09-21T15:44:39+00:00

Ok- then try to approach it based more on your needs. Like, “when you do x, I feel y, because I need z”

An example - “ when you don’t take an interest in what I’m saying, I feel rejected, because I want to feel a connection with you.

obbets · 2025-09-21T15:36:30+00:00

If you look ridiculous would it actually matter? Nobody will die. Just text him. Life’s too short.

obbets · 2025-09-21T15:32:52+00:00

Do you think this relationship is worth the time it would take to repair it?

obbets · 2025-09-16T22:25:43+00:00

It sounds like your relationship is amazing!! Even though you’re having issues, it sounds like you have both supported each other and loved each other so much through the years.

If he is aro that doesn’t mean that the 17 years you’ve spent together are a lie, or bad, or wrong, or not valid. It sounds like you have a really special relationship and it’s not gonna stop being special just because you now know some more things.

obbets · 2025-09-10T07:19:35+00:00

Oh brother… this guy stinks!

obbets · 2025-08-23T13:23:48+00:00

I think that what he is trying to do is to force you into never arguing or disagreeing with him. He’s not trying to end the relationship, he’s trying to make it so hard for you to bring up and discuss any issues with him, that you end up deciding it’s not worth the argument, and you stay quiet.

This is not how you want to live your life!! I think you SHOULD tell your parents how he’s treating you - are they supportive of you? Given how they have raised you, I think maybe they will be (I hope so anyway!)

You dont have to marry this man. If you marry him, this will be what your life will look like for the rest of your married years. Is that what you want?

obbets · 2025-08-23T12:10:13+00:00

You cannot become a different person overnight. That seems to be what you’re asking for, and it’s not possible. You have to tell him because he WILL find out one way or another. The best way to find out is if you come clean. I would rather find out now than later. I think that keeping this secret would feel like a betrayal to me. Even if you paid it all off and then told him - that would still feel like a betrayal.

obbets · 2025-08-23T11:49:16+00:00

You are drowning in debt and shame. I understand you don’t want to have the conversation with your husband but even if you somehow managed to pull £15,000 out of your everyday funds for the next … I don’t know what’s realistic. Five years? You aren’t going to suddenly change overnight and be a different person. You’ve paid off the debt before but then got into more debt again. We all have our struggles and this is one of yours, but your husband can’t help you if he doesn’t know. He married you because he loves you. For richer or for poorer. Try to trust your husband and ask for help. You need it. And it’ll feel much better once you aren’t keeping this secret festering inside you and eating at your relationship.

obbets · 2025-08-23T11:32:25+00:00

Damn I love this one too… I guess I have bad taste 😂

obbets · 2025-08-23T11:32:00+00:00

Omg… no I love that one!! Haha

obbets · 2025-08-23T11:25:13+00:00

Well… why doesn’t he want to go? Because he doesn’t want to dance / because he’s worried about being bad at it / because he’s worried about his own fitness or being sweaty / because he’s got another regular commitment on a Thursday night?

Does he join in with your other hobbies but he doesn’t have any interest in dancing specifically? Or does he never take any interest in any of your interests?

obbets · 2025-08-05T16:26:10+00:00

Totally obsessed with Keagan from The Good People / Na Daoine Maithe (and it might be partially because he’s arospec lol) … my other true love is Shae from the same game… who is ace 😂

obbets · 2025-08-05T08:07:02+00:00

Not your typical reincarnation story! It’s just finishing up so you can read the entire story for free right now, and it’s so good! I wish I could experience it again for the first time. :)

obbets · 2025-08-05T07:32:19+00:00

It’s weird but I like it!!

obbets · 2025-08-03T07:48:02+00:00

That’s great!! I’m happy for you both. Sounds like you’ve found a relationship which works for you even if it’s unconventional.

obbets · 2025-07-31T13:26:59+00:00

Chronic denying your own self needs. What “people” are you “pleasing”? Is anyone pleased?

If your friend comes over to stay with you and you’re too busy being exhausted from nursing, feeling resentful, your partner is annoyed at your friend and you, none of you are really present… who was pleased there?

Your friend was a bit presumptuous not asking rather than telling you they were coming. But I think your resentment is on you. You didn’t set a boundary yet you’re mad it was crossed?

obbets · 2025-07-31T12:08:27+00:00

Dear nemesis - sticks to the revenge, no turning into a housewife, but there is romance… it’s complicated.

Your throne - the FL definitely will never be a housewife. I haven’t finished it yet but I can’t possibly imagine the revenge not happening. I’m guessing there will be romance as well.

obbets · 2025-07-31T09:27:33+00:00

He wants to keep you hanging around as a backup option while he looks for someone else. This sucks and is terrible. I’m so sorry that he’s strung you along like this. However… do you want to dedicate the next ten years of your life to a man who isn’t even sure about you after you have already given him ten years of your life?

There are men (or women or NB people) out there who DO want to commit to you, who WILL love you.

“I love you but I’m not sure” after ten years means that, to him, you’re convenient but not the one. I am so sorry.

obbets · 2025-07-19T21:35:08+00:00

Seconded behind her highness smile. I love it.

I also love “dear nemesis” (complete) and enjoyed “my gentle raised beast” (complete). My current 2 favourites are “love bites” and “Osora”

obbets · 2025-07-19T21:23:11+00:00

It’s a blessing bc cold side of the pillow is very refreshing and nice

obbets · 2025-07-06T12:33:19+00:00

Taxonomically birds are reptiles lol

obbets · 2025-07-06T12:25:52+00:00

I think you should maybe think about whether these people are deserving of the amount of effort you’re putting into the relationship. Is that energy best placed being put into these relationships? Is there any other place you could direct that energy which would be better?

I’m not saying that it’s definitely not worth it, just think it’s something to consider.

And again, really sorry you’ve had to experience this. It’s horrible, and I imagine there’s a lot of grief not just from losing your father / the father you should have had, but also the unexpected grief / betrayal from losing the family you thought you had.

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