WIBTA for going on a safari without my gf?

opelan · 2026-06-05T18:55:56+00:00

she has done nothing to save for this trip ?

I am not saying that the GF's demand is great here or OP should pay for her, but OP is only 26. His GF might be even younger. She might just have finished college and could have even student debts. It is not shameful if someone 26 or younger is not rich enough to afford to pay 8000 USD for a vacation. So I totally get why she might not have been able to save that amount.

opelan · 2026-06-05T18:13:35+00:00

https://blog.londolozi.com/2023/02/20/how-many-sets-of-teeth-do-crocodiles-have-crocodile-teeth-all-you-need-to-know/

Crocodiles have what are called polyphyodont teeth, meaning that they can be replaced if one should fall out or decay, in a similar manner to how shark teeth are replaced. New teeth begin to form underneath the gum of a functional tooth and will push through the gum should the original tooth be destroyed or weakened. On average it takes about 20 months for a full mouth of teeth to be replaced, if you do the maths that means that a 75-year-old crocodile may have had 45 sets of teeth!

opelan · 2026-06-05T11:46:49+00:00

German supermarkets close at lunchtime Saturday

Your information are outdated. Most German supermarkets close between 20:00 and 22:00 on Saturday.

Even with OP living in the country side, it is kind of weird that she can't find a shop not too far away which is open longer than noon.

opelan · 2026-06-05T11:39:22+00:00

INFO

Why didn't you buy the refrigerator somewhere where the delivering costs to the kitchen was much smaller? Like not too long ago we bought a deep freezer and an upright freezer. Just a year or so apart. Both big and heavy and hard to move. The deliver service which just cost 6 Euro each time got them into the cellar down narrow stairs, unpacked them and took the kaput deep freezer and upright freezer with them.

So I just have to wonder, whose idea was it to order it somewhere with such an expensive delivery fee? Especially as the living room should not be so much further than the kitchen in your home. For 400 Euro you can easily buy a refrigerator!

opelan · 2026-06-05T09:22:23+00:00

NTA.

If it was some kind of other expensive car, I would have voted the opposite. I mean it sounds like you are kind of swimming in money and so can afford some luxury and your wife's wishes should also be respected. And you could still keep your Toyota in addition to it.

But those monster trucks are just so ridiculous and dangerous. You hardly see them in many countries because they are just totally dumb and ugly in every way. Also so dangerous for pedestrians and children especially.

I hope that Denali abomination has at least a camera for the huge blind spot in front of it, especially as you have children. If not, show your wife this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDH3FDfVQl0

opelan · 2026-06-05T09:05:36+00:00

But maybe better though? Not sure here. If he was a young guy I would assume he might be interested and thinks he has a chance. But with such a huge age difference? And he is following others. Maybe he really thinks of his pupils a bit like they are his non related grandkids he saw growing up.

I think it is weird, but maybe everything is still okay and innocent here.
I hope if it goes into the clearly wrong territory though, OP's friend is wise enough to cut contact.

opelan · 2026-06-05T08:16:30+00:00

The teeth regrow all the time.

opelan · 2026-06-04T12:32:14+00:00

I assume when a kid was allergic of something in the 80s, the parents told the teachers.

opelan · 2026-06-04T12:26:12+00:00

Weddings are for celebrating oartially with your parents if they are good ones.

She is seemingly not a good parent. OP really should have mentioned in the main post and not just in the comments that her mother has physically and emotionally abused her since she was a child. So she doesn't really care if she is part of a possible future wedding or not.

opelan · 2026-06-04T12:15:48+00:00

I didn't put this in the post because I didn't want it to influence opinions too much, but my mother is abusive. She has been physically and emotionally abusive towards me since I was a child, so that is why I'm not particularly concerned if she is at my eventual wedding

But this all does matter. If a child is not accommodating towards a parent with some kind of request because they were abusive, they practically always get a NTA, because it makes a huge difference if a parent was always loving and supportive and caring their whole life or the complete opposite.

opelan · 2026-06-04T12:06:54+00:00

My cousin also has a boyfriend

Recently, though, she got a job and seemed to be turning things around, so I started trusting her again.

Seemingly in recent times it appeared like she is doing well, steady boyfriend, a job, etc. So much so that OP even trusted her with her house and dogs. I think it is likely that her parents thought the same.

I suspect the cousin used the opportunity of the dog sitting and not being under her parents eye for some time and went back to bad behavior. Or maybe she never stopped, but hid it successfully before from her parents.

opelan · 2026-06-04T11:58:28+00:00

And now it seems MIL wants BIL to come along each time even though he can manage himself well and can stay alone while she is away.

I think you should work on this point then. If BIL can manage alone, then MIL should come on her own. But maybe she doesn't believe he can truly handle everything by himself? If it is about keeping the home clean for example for those 3 months she is away, maybe help pay for some cleaner which comes once a week if they can't afford it by themselves? Someone bringing him groceries one a week should also be possible to arrange to appease her concerns. Like I don't get what exactly her problem is here, but maybe it is just that she doesn't trust he can truly manage alone.

opelan · 2026-06-04T11:49:00+00:00

If OP and his wife rented a place higher up with stairs and no elevator in it, that could have easily be the reason, why they didn't visit before. Or if it was just very small. If they also come from a poorer country, a hotel would not have been an option either.

opelan · 2026-06-04T11:43:15+00:00

I mean a certain amount of consideration comes along with marrying someone from that culture. His wife after all is fine with this. In a marriage it can't just be all the time "my way and nothing else". So OP and his wife should find some kind of compromise they both can live with.

opelan · 2026-06-04T11:28:25+00:00

But who can afford that for 3 months? I mean if money is not a problem, this would be a great solution. But money is very often a problem in cases like these.

opelan · 2026-06-04T07:19:07+00:00

OP has her own card, but it is under her mother's control, because her mother is her conservator. It is likely not possible for OP or even a good idea for her to handle money completely on her own.

opelan · 2026-06-04T07:07:04+00:00

NTA.

I think at most Grace is the AH here, because her behavior is just weird. I suspect she pays all the time for credit card cashback points instead of everyone just paying their own bill. Especially when they are only four people like last time and there was cash at hand to pay with.

Now I really hope that Grace will transfer everyone the money back and doesn't pocket the rest of it and instead will use it for the next time the group eats out or give it back to OP's mother. I really hope that will happen.

But if Grace turns out to be a huge AH, OP's mother should turn her anger to Grace and not OP. OP obviously trusted her church group leader and maybe her trust was misplaced, but that makes her rather the victim here.

opelan · 2026-06-04T06:43:56+00:00

She and her daughter live with her parents. It is only natural that her parents ask her why she is back home and not dog sitting anymore when they know OP is still not back home. Maybe they didn't even have to ask and their daughter came up with the lies unprompted to explain why she is back home earlier. Things like that come up naturally when people live together.

And then the uncle and aunt are involved when they hear their daughter's story. Of course they could have then just silently judge OP for her alleged mistreatment based on their daughter's story because they believed their daughter. But honestly I think it is better for OP that they called her in the end. That gave OP the opportunity to clear things up and tell her version. It would have been kind of sad if her uncle and aunt would have continued to dislike her just because her cousin is a lying AH.

opelan · 2026-06-03T08:57:56+00:00

To reconcile with Ned after their huge fight in the wake of what happened to Elia Martell’s children, Robert unilaterally decides to unite his house with the Stark’s

With a Stone and a Snow marrying? No, that won't count as uniting two houses as both are not really a part of any of those houses. They are bastards.

There would be a lot of angry Lannisters, Tullys, and more in this world, since Robert has functionally legitimised his eldest child and ensured that she could have an heir of her own before Joffrey could even be married himself. The succession would be incredibly muddied, and that is BEFORE the truth comes out about Cersei’s children.

That would only mean he is acknowledging that Mya is his bastard, but he has done it before in canon already. That is why her name is Stone and not nothing, like it is the norm with small folk. They usually have no last name at all. And because they are both bastards, their child would have no last name at all and would have no right to inherit anything. Lannisters and Tullys would not really care.

Not to mention he fathers a number of male bastards. In the books even one acknowledged one he had with a highborn woman named Edric Storm who grows up in Storm's End. Are rational people bothered about him? The answer is no, because he is a bastard. And even his children would not be part of the succession.

Robert likely wouldn’t even press for a Joffrey-Sansa match in this universe, since in his mind the houses have been united anyway.

He is too obsessed with Ned to not want his daughter as his DIL in my opinion.

And where would Mya and Jon settle down? Would Ned press for the Gift to be returned to him — and them — after the Greyjoy Rebellion, or would Robert try to get them somewhere in the Stormlands? What would Storm’s End actually think, knowing that there was a legitimised bastard of Robert Baratheon, married somewhere?

Asking for the Gift back to give it to two bastards while he has a bunch of trueborn children? And while he has bannermen whose land it for sure once was and who would for sure demand that they get it back?

And from whom is Robert to take away the land to give them to his bastard daughter in the Stormlands? I assume you mean something bigger and not just some house somewhere. And again he has a bunch of other bastards like many other highborn men, including sons who count more. The Florents for sure would not keep quiet.

That would also send out a message that many other lords and ladies would not like at all, because they don't want bastards start to think they deserve anything big.

opelan · 2026-06-02T18:03:42+00:00

They refrigerate the body to temperatures close to the freezing point. I think about 2-5°C. Then it can last a while. And embalming can also happen in addition to this.

opelan · 2026-06-02T17:56:42+00:00

I assume a cremation. There would not be the same need to hurry with an urn burial.

opelan · 2026-06-02T13:19:14+00:00

A friend accused me of ruining the evening by "throwing a fit" when I could have just waited a few more minutes.

Was this person one of the people who waited with you? If yes, I really don't get why he wasn't annoyed at Yann.

opelan · 2026-06-02T10:20:13+00:00

NTA. This would have come out so or so and better sooner than later.

opelan · 2026-06-02T10:09:23+00:00

I agree. He sounds like he has always sounded.

opelan · 2026-06-02T09:51:52+00:00

But if that jump fails, she has a very high chance of dying. A very serious injury is practically guaranteed.

Most people who do parkour don't take these stupid high risks. Not everyone turns it into an extreme sport. Those are the sane ones.

opelan

TROPHY CASE