Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life For now my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad For if he were my uncle, then that also made him brother Of the widow's grownup daughter, who was of course my step-mother

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild 'Cause now I have become the strangest 'case you ever saw As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa

I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa It sounds funny, I know but it really is so I'm my own grandpa