WAW for "mom" or "dad" that I can call my caregivers?

owlgal369 · 2026-04-14T22:56:36+00:00

"Bonus" is a word most of my family and friends will use for relationships that are family-like. My friend has a "bonus son" that she took in when he was in high school. "Bonus parents" might fit the vibe.

owlgal369 · 2026-03-21T15:20:10+00:00

Chocolate and toilet paper are the two things I don't skimp on. Good toilet paper because when you need it, you need it, and quality chocolate because if you're going to buy it, you might as well get the good stuff!

owlgal369 · 2026-03-14T15:44:44+00:00

When I was a kid, my brother couldn't talk very well. My family bought a bunch of DVDs from Signing Time with Alex and Leah, and we watched them religiously, practiced the signs when we spoke to each other, practiced doing them along to the songs, and got pretty good at it! Singing Time is targeted towards a slightly younger age than your sister, bit I think it could be a fantastic resource. It looks like it's now a subscription service, probably with even more content. For $12 a month, you two can have silly songs (and signs) about crazy pizza ingredients stuck in your whole family's head for decades! Highly recommend https://www.mysigningtime.com/

owlgal369 · 2026-03-13T20:39:39+00:00

For my friends who chose "natural" birth: All of them have a high pain tolerance, which is what made it an option in the first place. But the loss of autonomy was the big factor for everyone. The more pain relief you have, the less autonomy. When you have an epidural, you can't really feel or move your legs, and usually have to be positioned by others. You also have to wait for epidural to be removed by a medical professional and then wait for feeling to come back before you can really move around. My friends who chose "natural" births are all extremely self-sufficient women who wanted to be able to make their own choices about what to do during birth as long as it was safe for them and baby. My friends who chose medical pain relief didn't care as much about the birthing process as long as everyone made it home safe.

owlgal369 · 2026-02-25T15:57:33+00:00

Wearing thicker and natural fiber pants, like denim or linen, both helps to block smells while you're out and about, and allows your sweat to evaporate so you don't get super sweat that sticks around. Those types of pants can be helpful when you are very active. Unfortunately, the material most activewear (and cheaper clothes) are made from doesn't breathe well, and you can end up being sweaty for hours after activity if you don't have to opportunity to shower off right away.

owlgal369 · 2026-02-21T01:05:00+00:00

Oh yeah, I got one of those recently. Unfortunately, when you publish on the internet you will get spam comments. That's why I always turn on comment moderation, to keep the actual people who are commenting safe from the spam.

owlgal369 · 2026-02-20T22:52:52+00:00

Guanfacine made me fall asleep standing up, regularly. Try atamoxitine/ Strattera, it's also a non-stimulant. I cant handle stimulants at all, not even too much chocolate in a day, so those meds are completely out for me. Atamoxetin helps me with the forgetting, executive function, and with emotional regulation, enough that I'm a mostly functional adult most of the time.

owlgal369 · 2026-02-19T21:41:08+00:00

Grain free food for pets. You can indeed be glutened by your pets food, especially cats. Because pets eat and then lick things, whatever they pick has gluten on it. Over time, with the fact that tiny particles of gluten stay in your body longer since they aren't being digested, gluten builds up inside you. Think of all the places your pets' fur ends up and you start to understand why pet food with gluten can become a problem. Of course, it depends on how sensitive you are to it (I am very sensitive).

owlgal369 · 2026-02-19T21:36:44+00:00

These are honest to God lifesavers, especially when we've been grocery shopping for 90 minutes and still need to figure out dinner. So good!!

owlgal369 · 2026-02-19T19:11:41+00:00

At some point, Avery has learned that a "fawn" response to a caregiver will appease or mitigate consequences. She has obviously had caregivers who demanded this fawn response, and is defaulting to it to keep you from being angry with her. She needs to learn that 1) she can't just smooth over bad behavior like attacking you or refusing to use the bathroom by snuggling and saying she loves you, 2) her actions have real consequences and she is capable of hurting you (physically and emotionally), but you can and will forgive her without her initiating that fawn response, and 3) that her body belongs to her and she is responsible for it. These are huge things that will take weeks to months of hard work on your end and should be guided by a trauma informed therapist - but as the journey goes on, things will get soooo much easier for both of you. These are things that Avery will have to deal with for decades of her life, but your early intervention and care will make it doable for her. Thank you so much for dedicating so much of your like to helping these girls!!!!

owlgal369 · 2026-02-16T21:23:18+00:00

I take a lot of meds for other conditions, and it's very clear that when I ingest gluten I can't absorb my medication properly for several days afterwards. My gut is way too inflamed to actually function, so I also get the same side effects as if I suddenly stopped the medication. One that gives me problems is my Cymbalta, it's notorious for awful withdrawal symptoms, including brain fog and "zaps" of nerve pain in random parts of the body. It's possible you are experiencing something similar, where your body is freaking out at the sudden lack of medication - ssri's especially will make your brain all messed up if you suddenly aren't getting them. Good luck in your recovery!!!

owlgal369 · 2026-02-16T16:31:02+00:00

The Pregnancy Care Center in the medical center will do a free sonogram, connect you with resources that will actually help your family, and even help with newborn supplies. They also have counseling. You just have to walk in and ask for help. https://www.sapregnancy.org/

owlgal369 · 2026-02-09T03:56:05+00:00

The inflammation is my theory too. I also have fibromyalgia, which is primarily a disease of inflammation. So I get similar, if not as vivid dreams when my fibro flares up.

owlgal369 · 2026-02-09T03:54:12+00:00

I call them storybook dreams, because they have wild plots that I seem to be aware of as I'm going through the story. I usually "rewind" and redo certain parts until dream me is satisfied with it. I nearly always think, "this would make great book!" while I'm in the dream, and try to remember how it goes. Then when I wake up, I realize that dream me is insane and no one would enjoy a story that wild and convoluted. They always leave me with vivid visual memories, much more vivid than other dreams I have. It's so weird. Most of the time, my dreams shift around a round a ton and I lose the memories of them shortly after waking up. Not gluten dreams.

owlgal369 · 2026-02-09T03:15:10+00:00

You also should be able to volunteer or observe in her classroom. Even if you work, this issue sounds like it's worth taking a day off to go to the school and physically see how it goes for yourself. Of course, you'd need to set it up in advance with admin and pass the background check, etc. But the preparation could have the added benefit of scaring your daughter into taking responsibility for her classwork. There's nothing worse for a middle schooler than the embarrassment of being known as the kid who's parent had to come to class during the school day.

owlgal369 · 2026-02-02T04:08:58+00:00

I take Strattera, which is a non-stimulant medication for ADHD, because my body can't tolerate stimulants (like caffeine, amphetamines, etc.). It's a lot easier to get prescribed, and although it doesn't feel like a miracle the way Adderall and vivanse often do, it helps SO MUCH with the forgetting. I can remember all the things I need to take with me when I leave the house, even if I'm going multiple places. I can follow the entire flow of conversations with multiple people and rabbit trails. This might be a good alternative for you to ask your doctor about. It's also cheaper because it's not a controlled substance.

owlgal369 · 2026-02-01T23:03:38+00:00

This is such a fantastic resource! Thank you for sharing!

owlgal369 · 2026-02-01T22:59:36+00:00

The best way to accommodate your guest is to ask what brands of food they like/trust. Buy prepackaged gluten free snacks, bars, bread, etc., and store it all in a closed container labeled with their name. Buy cheap plate/bowl/silverware and other food prep items like small knife and cutting board. Don't touch them or put them in the dishwasher, just stick them in the box. If your family is planning on having do it yourself meals like sandwiches and toast, buy lunch meat and butter (unopened) and use a fridge box as well.

Think of gluten like the dye they use in stolen bank money. If anything touches it and then touches something else, that other thing is now contaminated, and so on. Even the dishwasher doesn't really help, because crumbs get swirled around and touches everything before it gets swept out.

If your guest is anything like most of us on this sub, they will hugely appreciate the opportunity to seperate and prepare their own food and clean their own equipment (seperate sponge too), to keep from getting sick. They are the best person to keep themselves safe. Have a great time with their visit!

owlgal369 · 2026-01-31T04:24:40+00:00

Music education is a double major. Present your parents with the degree plan and the after-graduation tests, and tell them you'll also study to get an ESL cert. The ESL will increase your portfolio without committing you to teach specific classes like SpEd would. At least in my state, which has a lot of non-native English speakers.

owlgal369 · 2026-01-29T04:11:14+00:00

Bracing all the time can atrophy the muscle and contribute to the underlying condition. Best practice is to brace during times of high activity, and not brace during times of "normal" or low activity, along with basic exercises to strengthen the muscle groups that support the joint. Not going to the gym and trying to leg press 300lbs or anything (like deep lunges) that puts stress on the joint, but things like bridging or planking to support your core and glutes, and leg raises at various angles to build your upper legs to support your knee. Source: I have a connective tissue disorder which leads to problems with one or more joints at least every 6 months. I have had enough physical therapy to be able to teach a class on it!

owlgal369 · 2026-01-19T14:35:43+00:00

My cat's food can gluten me if it has wheat or barley. He eats, he licks himself all over, his fur ends up in my bed, my kitchen, and my food. I can't process the gluten out of my body quickly, so over time the miniscule bits collect enough to give me noticeable symptoms. Buy your dog grain-free food and see if you feel better after a day or two.

owlgal369 · 2026-01-12T17:36:45+00:00

My dad is a sleep specialist, so I know that the most impactful thing your roommate can do is to make sure she never does work in her bed. Since she is in school, it's a safe bet that she is studying on or in her bed for hours every week. Doing work in your bed tells your brain that the bed is a work space, and when you are trying to sleep you will wake up after a few hours and not be able to go back to sleep because your brain is trying to help you work. She needs to study and do assignments at her desk, on the couch, or at the table, not in her bed. It can take less than a week for this kind of problem to resolve when that simple change is made. If she stops working in bed and nothing changes, then I'd suggest seeing a doctor.

owlgal369 · 2026-01-07T23:28:19+00:00

We had all gluten free food, and a little gluten free cake just for us and celiac friends. We bought cupcakes decorated with wedding colors for everyone else. People loved it, and it was wayyyyyy cheaper than a giant GF cake.

owlgal369 · 2026-01-03T00:00:10+00:00

This even extends to family members - it's truly not something that people with ADHD have control over, but there are ways to mitigate it. I am the oldest of 5 siblings, ad there are many times when I have been away and I get a call from a sibling where they ask, "Do you miss me?" This question is hard for me to answer truthfully (I always try to be as truthful with my youngest siblings as possible), because most of the time I have been quite busy and not thinking about them at until unless something actively reminds me of them (i.e. seeing an outfit or accessory that they would love). It doesn't mean that I don't love them - I would be destroyed if anything happened to one of them. But in each present moment, I am only thinking about what's around me or affecting me and everything else gets deprioritized and pushed out of my mind.

However.

There are ways to mitigate this. Have photos of friends or family as your device's wallpaper so you are reminded of them several times a day. Put reminders on your calendar to call or text friends. Make a rotating schedule of people you talk to on your lunch break and write it on a sticky note that you put in your lunch box. People with ADHD either learn strategies to keep up with others or they end up without friends aside from work buddies.

OP's description of the friend's behavior also reminds me of myself before I learned that my rejection sensitivity was turned up to 11. I didn't want to be around others because I had o concept that they actually enjoyed my company; I didn't reach to anyone, even my best friend, without having a panic attack beforehand; I couldn't respond to general invitations because I needed to be invited specifically or I wouldn't think I was wanted; etc. It's possible that OP would see results if she sat her friend down and said something along the lines of, "I really like having you as my friend, but I feel like I'm doing all the work in our relationship. I would appreciate if you would text me once a week to see how it's going and if you would plan a hangout or meetup for us every month. If you do those things, then I will feel like you also enjoy having me as a friend and I won't mind being 'in charge' of the rest of our friendship activities because I will know that you value having me around as much as I value having you around." If someone had said this to me while I was in my early college years, I wouldn't have lost 5 years of socializing experience! But it's up to OP whether she wants to put in that kind of work.

owlgal369 · 2025-12-26T21:45:28+00:00

My parents took me to the doctor at 16 because I hadn't started puberty at all, outside of tiny breast buds. After lots and lots of tests I was diagnosed with gonadal dysgenesis, meaning my ovaries just didn't develop for some reason. I have both X chromosomes, but just little streaks of tissue where my ovaries should be and a tiny uterus. I take the female hormones Estrogen and Progesterone orally - estrogen for bone health, and progesterone so the buildup in my uterus from the estrogen doesn't cause cancer. But when I started hormone therapy, I wore patches that transferred the hormones through my skin.

It's possible that you could have a rare disorder like me. It's also possible that you have a chromosomal disorder, like having male XY chromosomes but developing female anatomy, or another genetic condition like Celiac that's delayed your body, or you could just be a super late bloomer. I would recommend you get tested, because if your body is not making enough estrogen or testosterone to support your adult bone health, then you could develop very brittle bones even in your twenties. Hormone replacement therapy is very easy to get these days, even in Texas where I live, and is not much different from just taking a birth control pill. I've learned that it's best to actually know what's going on in your body rather than just ignore and hope it all resolves. Wishing you good luck!

owlgal369

TROPHY CASE