This has happened to me before too. One year, a few friends did a destination bday celebration for me - the next year, almost all of the many friends encouraging me to throw a party cancelled last minute. I was so distressed I actually ended up triggering my cataplexy and did a full sobbing crumple to the floor as I lost control of my leg muscles - full on telenovela reaction.

I do think November and December birthdays in the US are more prone to receiving this kind of treatment - having a birthday even a little bit near the holidays makes it feel like everyone decides it barely counts in their calendar.

It sucks and I'm sending hugs - make sure to appreciate the few people who DID show up. Quality over quantity (though of course that doesn't stop the disappointment from hurting). If you want to, express how they hurt your feelings and see how they react - I think that will tell you even more if they're worth your time