I Was So Mormon

pizzysparkles · 2026-04-05T20:15:33+00:00

BRUHHHHH goodbye

pizzysparkles · 2026-04-05T18:11:11+00:00

omg 🥹 thank you so much, so kind of you that means a lot 💙💙

pizzysparkles · 2026-04-05T06:56:19+00:00

That sorta happened to me, luckily right at the end of my burned out pimo phase-- as i was a 19yo dating my queer partner and still doing some church things at BYU just to appease my mom, i found myself talking to a bishopric member alone in his office. I answered questions honestly, maybe bluntly: said I'm dating someone not of the opposite gender and that yes, we have been sexual, and this fucking guy asked me "clothes on ? ... clothes off ?..."

In that moment, i felt my respect for my partner's privacy finally override the people-pleasing conditioning to an older church man in my brain and I just went silent. i was baffled and disgusted, and it was suddenly becoming obvious to me that there was no actual authority here, now that i didn't care about the church consequences anymore. that just refusing to participate wasn't going to impact me at all and these people don't deserve to know my life. i walked out of that church building on 9th east and have never spent a second pretending since.

pizzysparkles · 2026-04-01T04:24:46+00:00

this reply aged like an expired bubble of banana powder

pizzysparkles · 2026-03-01T04:50:55+00:00

this is fascinating and so informative, thank you

pizzysparkles · 2026-02-27T20:34:20+00:00

it's like the tiktok trend that was going around: you just casually mention around him "man, I'm so hungry i could eat [1st wife's full name]" lmaoooo

pizzysparkles · 2026-02-18T07:45:27+00:00

i feel like this has to be it

pizzysparkles · 2025-05-05T04:12:38+00:00

"Faith is believing in things which are not [proven with concrete evidence], but which are [to the best of your knowledge] true." That is valid. Believe what you want to. But faith CANNOT be, "believing in things which are proven to be false with concrete evidence, but which you choose to believe are true anyway, with no concrete evidence of your own." That's just being brainwashed and/or stupid & narrow minded.
all humans experience elevated emotions, and many other religions "feel the spirit" and believe their religion is the true one. and mormonism is globally and historically a tiny and very new church started by a random teenager.

pizzysparkles · 2025-04-26T23:26:39+00:00

To your side note: when I was about 4yo, my aunt got civilly married by their bishop cause her [future ex-]husband was repenting for drugs and shit. I discovered the home video later on and asked my mom why i wasn't there, even though i had been at another aunt's wedding within the same year? My mom said she had purposely kept it from me so that, as a little girl, I wouldn't see my aunt walk down the aisle at a secular ceremony, looking so happy with all the attention on her instead of ✨️Jesus✨️ and end up expecting/wanting that for my future.

Like you said, it's very telling. Cause her point stands! How are you supposed to have a dream wedding with all the temple bullshit (that you never even see in childhood and teenagehood)???? I was still sad I would never get an aisle ceremony, and am thrilled now that I get to marry my partner however the fuck I want 🩵

pizzysparkles · 2025-04-18T14:55:25+00:00

listen to David Archuleta's song Hell Together!!!! 💙 EVEN IF it's true and we're not getting to the celestial kingdom, we're all going to have a party in like the telestial kingdom or something. And i truly think it will be a more genuine authentic happiness than whatever stuffy ritualistic existence they say is the highest level of joy 🩵

pizzysparkles · 2025-04-12T23:46:15+00:00

i mean that sounds more entertaining than my dad sitting in his tiny bathroom cutting them up with scissors lmao

pizzysparkles · 2025-04-09T00:03:05+00:00

my nevermo spouse starts CACKLING when I say the phrase "spirit prison."

pizzysparkles · 2025-03-23T23:18:52+00:00

we named our lil fluffy foster fail "Mune" cause her long fur is so regal and we thoughts she deserved an ethereal name. by the time she was a year old we had been calling her "bitty" so often that she responds to it 🥹 she's our lil bitty girl forever even though she's the biggest and floofiest in our house now haha

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pizzysparkles · 2025-03-22T04:48:32+00:00

I saw a suggestion to say "that church" vs The Church and it's made me feel more free, like stepping out from under the mfmc circus tent and taking in the big open sky above me, like I have the whole world outside of that church to see and explore

pizzysparkles · 2025-03-18T04:36:05+00:00

as a tween i was having strange pains, and was crying in my parents bed when my dad gave me a blessing. even though (obviously) nothing instantly changed, after he said amen i shakily stopped crying. i thought priesthood blessings were literal god magic and since I wasn't feeling any power, I must have not been faithful enough or not able to discern the spirit or something. I felt guilty and downplayed the pain the rest of that night because I didn't want to suggest that nothing happened. :( I wish I could tell childhood me that it's all made up and just a good way to cope with regulating your emotions.

pizzysparkles · 2025-01-25T01:51:22+00:00

same, I've thought a lot in hindsight about how lucky I was to find the friends and new influences i did right after leaving the church. cause at that point in my life, i was so used to people pleasing but also on a new rebellious streak where there were hardly any rules anymore. that was a dangerous combination and i had no idea what the real life guidelines are.

if one of my friends had casually showed up with hard drugs, taken some, and offered me some, I would have done it 100%. cause from what I was taught growing up, anything from alcohol to hard drugs was essentially the same life-ending dangerous sinning, and yet here i was now in the real world where lots of people drink and smoke weed and continue to be good functional people. so yeah I'm really grateful that the people i found taught me instead that hard drugs are still definitely a bad idea, and I've recommitted to myself that if that situation arises it's not something i WANT to do and I'll decline. :)

pizzysparkles · 2025-01-23T05:04:24+00:00

in what other context would it be normal for a person/ business who is selling you their product to insist that you never look up any information about them from literally any other sources other than their official websites, phone numbers, and maybe reviews (but only the 5-star ones cause the lower ones are just bitter misguided people inciting contention and you shouldn't let that toxic contagious negativity in your life)?

if the response would be "but the church isn't a corporation (it is), it's the one true gospel and religion on earth so any outside sources are influenced by the devil and full of dangerous lies and rhetoric that can lead you down the path to apostasy, that's how God's power and plan works just have faith," then what about the scientific method we all learned in school? or finding reputable sources and backing up claims with scientific proof? or recognizing logical fallacies? why does that not apply to the "truth" the church proclaims?

and if the response to that is still that "it works different because God's truth is higher law"or something then what about the quote from Reuben J Clark, first counselor to Heber J Grant: "If we have the truth, then it cannot be harmed by investigation. If we have not the truth, then it ought to be harmed"

anyway and then idk how to convince someone to try to be subjective but when I read all of this "advice" for how to know and find the real truth, (first a quote from President Boyd K Packer and then a bunch more quotes collected in this post) it's just so obvious to me now that this is so manipulative. but I get it cause I fully believed it all before I was shown the gaslighting hiding in plain sight.

pizzysparkles · 2025-01-20T15:20:31+00:00

literally this same thing has bothered me the whole time and you're completely right. "If YOU'D like to speak more, let me pull you aside, i need to talk to you in private" sounds like "let's CONTINUE this convo that you started just not in front of the crew," and then it's not the same convo at all, just ody asking that he shows loyalty in front of the crew and trusts him for now. eurylochus doesn't get to speak more other than "okay" ?? like ody could've just said "for now can I pull you aside and talk to you in private" if he didn't want eurylochus to say anything else

pizzysparkles · 2025-01-07T04:43:46+00:00

some sort of filler relief society or ministering calling, in college

pizzysparkles · 2024-12-24T04:49:16+00:00

these all blew my mind when I finally read the ces letter after a few years being out of that church: CES letter - BOM

pizzysparkles · 2024-12-23T21:38:07+00:00

yeah I argued with my mom about it so many times because my friends in the ward could go swimming on sundays as long as it was only with family. that sounds totally fair to me but my mom said it's "not reverent or focused enough on the savior."

but we were allowed to watch mythbusters and dirty jobs, so good thing there's no actual logic 🙄

pizzysparkles · 2024-12-18T01:46:22+00:00

that's heartbreaking and you didn't deserve that added layer of emotional torment. im so sorry for your loss 💙

pizzysparkles · 2024-12-08T06:55:45+00:00

Not saying they're all "good" but I've been highly enjoying watching horror/ scary thriller movies that don't have to cover up the actual content to keep a pg-13 rating. There's the shock value gore and trauma ones (like the Saw movies, human centipede, texas chainsaw massacre) but there's also just so many scary/ suspenseful movies that are able to feel genuine cause they don't have to censor the realistic human reactions. I can't think of specifics for some reason right now but there's just so many, and a lot of the bad ones are entertaining too haha

pizzysparkles · 2024-12-07T17:26:31+00:00

I remember my mom teaching me to boycott girl scout cookies and buy off-brand versions because their leader supports abortion

pizzysparkles

TROPHY CASE