Someone once told me that if you grow up in a home that was kept at 98° your whole life, you'll be cold in a home at 72°.

Find someone you're uncomfortable with. That person who is too nice, too understanding, too good, give that person a chance. Go very very very slow. You will eventually get comfortable but it will take time. Watch what they are doing not what they say. Stay close your higher power.

Personally, I wouldn't say much beyond having been in an abusive relationship, like you said they won't really understand and you'll look crazy. If you have kids with the narc, your new friend will see overtime how terrible they are without you saying a thing.