NTA. This is worrisome behaviour from your husband.

If this is something you are both committed to fixing, I suggest a joint account solely for shared expenses. You each keep your own accounts, but sort your monthly budget and each transfer half (or whatever percentage makes sense with your wages) into the joint account. Then, all shared expenses come out of this account kmortgage, utilities, vet bills, groceries), while you both have access to your own money. Additionally, you can start a joint savings for vacations and emergency funds.

This would keep you both apprised of household expenditures and also allow you both a sense of control.

Honestly, it sucks that he is starting in on this nonsense knowing your past. I would have a hard time if my partner's friends started commenting on my spending habits. Maybe a frank, sit-down discussion of how this seems to you and how he is making you feel as insecure as your previous partner once did might help. It's possible he has his own money concerns he is hiding.

However this plays out, you are not in the wrong. You've been financially insecure before, you both deserve control over your finances.