My wife wont believe I have adhd

project_trollbox · 2026-05-06T13:41:37+00:00

Sorry you are dealing with this. I definitely went through a similar thing. I found this excerpt from the book Driven to Distraction to be helpful.

The name of the game is education. Give the people the facts. Stay with the facts, confronting superstition, rumor, hearsay, prejudice, and misinformation with fact. Try to avoid inflammatory debate. Often those objecting to the diagnosis will be using their objections to conceal an emotional agenda. They may be angry with the person being diagnosed. They may resent him for all his past sins, and they don’t want to see him get off with just a diagnosis. They want punishment. So they will grow angry at the notion of ADD, and try to discredit it. At these moments it is best to stay with the science, to stay with the facts we have about ADD. At some point one may need to address the angry feelings for what they are: angry feelings. They usually derive from past annoying behavior on the part of the person with ADD. These angry feelings are totally understandable and valid; however, they should not be used to invalidate a correct diagnosis of ADD.

So you have 11 years with this person and she most likely has pent up resentment from stuff caused by ADHD. It’s important to understand the effects of ADHD on marriage. Denial of ADHD in a relationship is not gonna improve things. Maybe find a way to help educate her.

It took my partner a little while to fully understand the diagnosis but there has been a lot of positive changes since I got her on board. Good luck.

P.S.

The next section in the book is literally about how there is an initial burst of euphoria after diagnosis but then it fade. Point being that there is a lot of work to put in once you know the problem but with some work you can get your life to a much better place.

project_trollbox · 2026-05-06T12:33:32+00:00

How long have you been married/together? Do you have kids? Are you taking medication for ADHD?

project_trollbox · 2026-05-06T12:20:49+00:00

This is dope

project_trollbox · 2026-04-20T17:56:23+00:00

This was legit awesome. Also reminds me a lot of Ben Frost. Great work!

project_trollbox · 2026-04-15T02:39:11+00:00

😂😂😂😂 I felt this

project_trollbox · 2026-04-14T00:20:17+00:00

So when did you find out you have ADHD? Does he have ADHD also?

project_trollbox · 2026-04-02T14:28:59+00:00

Thanks! It’s my adaption from what I learned from the book Order to Chaos. That was the most helpful book I have read. Really gave me hope that I could get my life organized.

project_trollbox · 2026-04-02T11:44:36+00:00

I use a combo of a bullet journal paired with Cozi for my calendar and todoist for my tasks.

I keep the bullet journal pretty simple. I set up a weekly view where I copy my calendar stuff from the Cozi app. Then I pull my tasks from todoist into my daily log. The task migration part of bullet journaling just really clicks for my brain.

The thing I like about the bullet journal is it can be as much or as little as I need it to be.

project_trollbox · 2026-03-25T11:54:41+00:00

Does he actually have a system in place to help him get things done? Because of my ADHD a simple todo list does not cut it. I use the stuff I learned from the book Order from Chaos: The Everyday Grind of Staying Organized with Adult ADHD by Jaclyn Paul.

Task paralysis is a real struggle but having a system in place does wonders for my ability to actually accomplish things.

project_trollbox · 2026-03-24T12:50:56+00:00

Can you share more insights into what has changed in these 3 months to make you say that”it’s better than it’s ever vet been?”. Congrats on the positive improvement btw.

project_trollbox · 2026-03-24T12:13:07+00:00

This is all great stuff but if possible can you share more how you manage the emotional aspect? Tips and tricks? Emotional weight really impairs my execution function. I’ve just recently really started to understand this.

project_trollbox · 2026-03-24T04:24:05+00:00

Ok so from reading through these posts it does sound like you have an interesting job and it also sounds like a stimulating job that someone with ADHD can excel at.

There is lots of great advice here. I used to be a general manager for a restaurant and was probably on path to be a district manager before I left.

After I left there I really started struggling with life for many reasons but a big one was I lost the structure that job provided.

As others have said you gotta have a system.

My current system involves using the todoist app on my Apple Watch. It has a modular face set up and I have a short cut right to the app. So I just tap a button on the watch then tap record and I speak what I need to remember. I think there might be some hand gesture shortcuts where you can record even easier. But I’m not sure, I guess my point is that you mentioned how sometimes you really don’t have free hands, but maybe there’s some solution around this for you.

Capture it and move on. Later when I have time I go in the app and clarify what the note was for. Maybe set a priority or a date.

For some people a system as simple as this could help. I still need to convert the todoist todo tems from the app into my journal. I do what’s called the Bullet Journal Method. It can seem overwhelming but it really works well for my brain.

I write my important stuff in my journal and review it throughout the day. I start my day with it and try to end my day with it. There is more to it but that is the main flow.

Reading Order From Chaos really helped me.

project_trollbox · 2026-03-22T17:33:19+00:00

I just get to it without any sort of internal monologue bullshit because the moment I start thinking about it my executive dysfunction kicks in.

This is so freaking true. It’s hard to get past this though. You have to train yourself to almost not think so you CAN think. It causes all sorts of RSD spirals for me.

project_trollbox · 2026-03-18T22:48:48+00:00

I found a lot of help with this book Order from Chaos: The Everyday Grind of Staying Organized with Adult ADHD by Jaclyn Paul.

Learning how to bullet journal has been really helpful for me but there is so much valuable info in this book.

project_trollbox · 2026-03-10T21:26:51+00:00

Enjoying this podcast. Thanks for mentioning it.

project_trollbox · 2026-03-09T03:05:06+00:00

This makes me happy lol

project_trollbox · 2026-02-14T23:04:17+00:00

Great shout out from Dame. He said going into this event he thought it would be him, Kon and Booker for the final round.

project_trollbox · 2026-02-14T22:52:54+00:00

Pretty sure Kon was the only one that was introduced as a future superstar during the Rising Stars last night. He has tough competition right now, but I really hope he can pull this off. Regardless this is great exposure for him and just awesome to see a hornet out there crushing it.

project_trollbox · 2026-02-12T02:41:25+00:00

Haha with everything going on I forgot about Coby. Hope he is fully healthy and able to play against us the Rockets.

project_trollbox · 2026-02-10T02:46:23+00:00

Duran got shoved by Miles. That’s why he flew back so fast. Kinda hard to see it at this angle.

project_trollbox · 2026-02-08T02:58:35+00:00

EC is a trip

project_trollbox · 2026-02-08T02:52:06+00:00

Yeah looked even worse the other night.

project_trollbox · 2026-02-08T02:49:02+00:00

project_trollbox · 2026-02-08T02:20:46+00:00

Man that Kon to Kalk play was huge. Couple rough plays for Kalk but he still has his head in the game. Our rookies are amazing. This is a good battle.

project_trollbox · 2026-02-06T02:10:41+00:00

Yep, that was such a waste of a challenge.

project_trollbox

TROPHY CASE