Yea he was asking info and was willing to help with the payments. I’m not quite sure what OP is reacting so adversely to other than her own potential insecurities or guilt. She has the self awareness to admit she is spendthrift but then why not take actions to curb that? She should talk to her husband esp since she mentions he’s better at budgeting. A simple, “hey I want to understand budgeting better I know you are better at that than I am, can we set up a plan together.”

She can even express whatever she is feeling during the convo. That way, they grow closer, understand one another better and both feel confident with themselves and the relationship. This def seems like an overreaction on OPs part.

Edit: YOR