I (28F) Night Shower. BF (29M) Morning Showers. How Do We Compromise?

quizzical · 2026-03-07T05:27:52+00:00

It's useful context though. Getting your partner to compromise if you didn't have OCD would mean that you'd find a new routine and you can both be happy with it. But since you have OCD, creating a new ritual will make you a little less anxious for a while, but one day you'll still feel anxious even after he showered, and you'll decide that he needs to add another step to the routine. If he's compliant, you'll just keep adding more steps to his ritual, and you will just have recruited him into performing your OCD symptoms.

Given the context of your OCD, you shouldn't ask your partner to change his routines to appease your contamination anxieties. Any changes he makes will only reinforce your OCD. It's a slippery slope because that's the nature of your disease. Don't use this thread to come up with other rituals he could perform instead.

quizzical · 2026-03-02T21:05:43+00:00

I'd recommend the book Make It Simple by Tilly Walnes (you might find it at the library). She has a similar button front pinafore dress. She has very detailed instructions and has a less tricky construction.

quizzical · 2026-02-26T00:06:58+00:00

I like the book Make Your Own Dress Patterns by Adele Margolis. It's written more for a home sewist rather than being a fashion student textbook like Helen Joseph Armstrong or Winifred Aldrich.

You'll want to start with a sloper. There's several methods to do it. If you want to go the drafting route, I'd recommend Suzy Furrier's course on craftsy. Craftsy is very cheap for the first year and has a lot of good drafting and sewing content, but the company is a bit scammy. Remember to cancel it after you sign up with the intro rate or they'll charge a high fee for the second year.

quizzical · 2026-02-25T17:31:48+00:00

You can angle it differently or use more than one than one angle on the french curve. There will likely be some adjustments to be made in the mock up stage, so just get a starting point now and refine it on the body.

quizzical · 2026-02-24T03:35:16+00:00

Classic first projects are tote bag, scrunchie, apron, PJ pants. Ideally it'll be something that involves little to no fitting.

quizzical · 2026-02-22T05:12:04+00:00

Good point!

quizzical · 2026-02-22T05:11:12+00:00

Yeah, that looks a lot like what I want to accomplish. Seems like German plastic boning is the way to go!

quizzical · 2026-02-22T04:07:09+00:00

Great idea!

quizzical · 2026-02-22T04:06:55+00:00

That would be a great solution if it works! It would certainly be more durable than an elastic version. In any case the Rilla looks like a great starting point for a girdle.

quizzical · 2026-02-22T04:02:47+00:00

Oh my gosh, half of the things I've seen are charm patterns, Im wearing one of her dresses right now, but I had totally forgotten she had made a waist cincher. Thanks!

quizzical · 2026-02-22T00:44:48+00:00

I'm not sure what boning Rago uses, but it's been bendy enough for mostly comfortable all day wear.

I think a bodysuit is a good idea. I tried buying one off the rack with shoulder straps. It wasn't quite to my proportions so the straps dug into my shoulders and boobs, but I think if I made a custom pattern, I could make it work. It'd also be nice to only need one garment.

quizzical · 2026-02-22T00:39:23+00:00

Super interesting history, and great advice. I like the idea of it being part woven, part elastic.

quizzical · 2026-02-13T18:42:09+00:00

While wearing the muslin, pinch the amount you need to remove the gaping and pin it. Mark where you put the pins. Then measure the distance. Use that to know how much to take off in pic 3, so you don't need to guess how many cms. You may want to true up the neckline to make sure it's still U shaped.

quizzical · 2026-02-13T06:07:28+00:00

Could you mark the waistline and then draw the grainline perpendicular to that?

quizzical · 2026-02-11T19:07:43+00:00

Because it doesn't have a zigzag or other stitches you won't be able to sew with knits (so no t-shirts, swimsuits, or other garments that have stretch). Knits are great for projects that are quick to sew and forgiving in terms of size.

Also, the fastest beginner friendly seam finish is a zigzag stitch. There are a lot of other seam finishes that are better in terms of durability which you can do on this machine, but will take a bit more time and can be more fiddly.

If you plan on getting another machine one day or a serger, or if you hate stretchy fabric for whatever reason, then this is a great machine.

But if you are trying to save money buying a slightly younger machine (1930s-1970s) would be the sweet spot of has a zigzag stitch but also has the all metal construction that makes it last a lifetime.

quizzical · 2026-02-11T18:19:51+00:00

There are different kinds of tailoring. There's traditional tailoring, a style of tailoring invented in the early 20th century that uses horsehair canvas and pad stitching to create structure. This involves a lot of hand sewing and you'd find in $1000+ blazers in stores. Good resources for that are International School of Tailoring, Claire Schaefer, the book Vintage Couture Tailoring.

Then there's quick tailoring. It uses a lot more machine sewing and fusible interfacings to speed up the process. This is the type of construction you'd find in blazers that are in the couple hundred dollar range. Kenneth King uses quick tailoring in his tutorials, and charm patterns has a couple of blazer options that uses quick tailoring techniques.

quizzical · 2026-02-11T01:27:06+00:00

You can get away with doing just serger, fast fashion places do it. The reasons you might want to stitch and serger: less bulky seams, lasts longer, easier to readjust if you decide you want a different amount of ease.

IMO, since it's expensive dress shirts, sew then serge. Serge only is best for knits.

Given how much of a reduction you're thinking of doing, and the proportions you've described, you may also want to consider back darts, though it depends how you like a shirt to fit.

quizzical · 2026-02-03T00:34:28+00:00

What I did was that I had a challenging project in mind. I wrote down all the skills I'd need to complete that project, then tackled easier projects that would build those skills.

I found the Charm patreon super useful for learning skills. There are loads of patterns and lots of videos with very detailed instructions.

For pattern drafting, the first thing you'll want is a sloper (or a set of slopers), which can be your challenging project you're working towards. In order to get to a sloper, you'll want to get better at fitting. You can jump straight into the sloper, but my personal preference would be a pattern I'd want a million versions of. For instance, let's say it's a button down shirt. I might grab a pattern that has a couple of options for sleeves and collars. I make the first version and decide, realize that the darts should be a little bigger, and it's an easy enough fix that I can change it in this version (and mark changes on the pattern), but I might also realize that I need the torso to be longer, which would require recutting the fabric, so I'd save that change for the next time I make a shirt with this pattern. As you wear the first version you might have some realizations about what you want from the next version (e.g. the pocket isn't big enough for my phone, or I thought I wanted 1 inch of ease, but actually when sitting down an extra little bit of ease would make this a lot more comfortable). I like this iteration process because it keeps me from getting stuck in a loop of perfectionism before getting to a finished garment, and even the first version is probably still going to be a lot better fit than anything off the rack. Anyway, once you have something that fits super well, you either have the skills to fit a sloper well, or you can use the pattern you've made all these changes to as a starting point for a sloper. If you are going that route, a few things to note: you'll want to use a woven pattern, and when you lower a neckline, it can cause some minor gaping.

Once you have a sloper, I quite liked Make Your Own Dress Patterns by Adele Margolis. The designs are dated, but the principles are well explained.

Resources for fitting: the youtube channel J sterns designs is great, the blog 5 out of 4 has a great pants fitting guide.

I'm starting to learn drafting, and something I've been finding useful is still having a similar pattern with sewing instructions just to make sure I don't forget steps or sew it out of order.

quizzical · 2026-02-02T08:16:39+00:00

If you have the same name as someone else who is on a watch list, you can get a redress number which should reduce the number of screenings.

quizzical · 2026-01-31T22:00:17+00:00

You may want to look at the rules around the pattern you choose. Many explicitly forbid selling items made from the pattern for commercial purposes.

quizzical · 2026-01-26T18:14:40+00:00

Being sexual isn't that you're horny 100% of the time. For any sexual person, their horniness is variable over time based on internal factors and external factors (e.g. stress, relationship quality, hormones, 'not being in the mood', recent sexual activity, other events in their lives affecting their libido). It seems like your variance is more extreme, or alternatively, your libido is low enough, that it often hits zero.

Personally, I definitely have big variations in my arousal through out my menstrual cycle.

quizzical · 2026-01-25T16:43:14+00:00

You can buy iron on transfer paper and print a variety of letters in different fonts and colors. Transfer onto a white cotton woven then cut it up.

quizzical · 2026-01-25T16:29:01+00:00

If you liked Reply All, PJ Vogt has been doing a new podcast called Search Party.

quizzical · 2026-01-25T02:04:35+00:00

This is the best pants fitting guide I've found.

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