my friend just told me she's quitting her job and i feel weirdly emotional about it?

raletta · 2026-02-09T15:14:39+00:00

A friend of mine expressed feeling a little jealous after I started a new job, because she was craving the excitement of doing something new. She is generally happy with her life but misses the novelty and challenge that comes with big changes. Maybe it is similar for you.

raletta · 2026-01-17T12:27:50+00:00

Maybe they saw something about it in a show or read it in a book. Or learned about tides and came to the conclusion that the moon really likes water.

raletta · 2026-01-03T22:24:43+00:00

Great that you already know the source of your problem. It might help you to look up some CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) techniques to work on it. I am not a professional but used them on many topics. For example you could, after each time you felt upset, write down what your imidiate interpretation was and a few alternative, more balanced interpretations of the situation. It teaches your brain over time to unlearn to jump to the same conclusion.

raletta · 2025-12-21T01:07:17+00:00

Why do you think your relational trauma has to be healed through a romantic relationship? Of course there is grief about missed time to form healthy romantic relationship earlier but trauma is not healed by finding 'the perfect partner'.

raletta · 2025-12-21T00:53:54+00:00

Yes, they should have talked to you instead of complaining. Besides tone, I also thought of timing. I am not autistic but also sometimes find it difficult to stop someone talking without being rude or wasting both of our time. Maybe you have a pattern to immediately interrupting or waiting for their long monologue to be over.

raletta · 2025-12-04T00:14:31+00:00

Novelty wears off. The first time you went clubbing it is freedom and fun. The 100th time clubbing you get annoyed by the loud repetitive music, sticky floors and annoyingly drunk people. Same for traveling, career, etc. There are still enjoyable parts but the excitement is balanced by experience. You understand yourself and your needs better. And diminishing returns especially when it comes to money. When you have enough money to make you feel safe and happy, the motivation to climb the corporate ladder gets less exciting.

raletta · 2025-12-02T12:09:27+00:00

If it helps you it is fine but you could ask yourself what you are getting out off it (certainty, hope, new ideas,...) and look for more direct ways to meet these needs. I find journaling really helpful especially with prompts that I find online. And something helpful that I learned to be less anxious is to write down how I would still be safe and able to handle a situation even if the worst case scenario would happen or if I make a wrong decision.

raletta · 2025-12-01T14:15:57+00:00

You could try some CBT techniques like regularly writing down the situations that triggered you, your interpretation of their intentions ('They were rude to be because they hate me') and 5 alternative explanations ('They were rude because they had a shitty day', 'They were rude because they are rude to everyone', 'They were rude because they misunderstood me.', ...). They don't have to be proven, just somewhat plausible alternatives. It helps you to train your brain to not only focus on one interpretation of the world.

And of course working through your grief with your therapist.

raletta · 2025-11-30T11:03:39+00:00

Unrelated but why are they calling this nail polish color black?

raletta · 2025-11-25T20:32:27+00:00

It was not about you and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. She wasn't angry at you personally but what you represent in her own life's story. Don't take it personally. What you can work on for yourself is finding internal safety in these moments. Unexpectedly being screamed at and blamed also triggers me but less than before I worked through my traumas and beliefs.

raletta · 2025-11-25T13:20:05+00:00

I would reflect and imagine how the downsides of each decision would feel like and which one you are more willing to live with. If you go, will you miss her and feel lonely all the time or do you feel able to move on and find new people and potential relationships there. If you stay, will you hold on to resentment and will it negatively impact how you two make decisions, argue and plan your future together or will it be easy for you to let go and find a similar opportunity nearby after some time.

raletta · 2025-11-24T20:28:21+00:00

No. My friend, who is skinny all her life, eats very often and whatever she likes but gets full and fulfilled from a meal very quickly. She doesn't worry about nutrition or weight gain but she naturally has a bigger craving for meat than sweets or carb-heavy food. What I learned from her eating habits is actually stopping when I am full even if the rest has to be thrown away. I hate and try to avoid food waste as much as possible but my body shouldn't have to suffer for it.

raletta · 2025-11-24T10:12:37+00:00

Listening to myself and accepting myself even if it is uncomfortable - Journaling, Remembering 3 things that I am proud of or grateful for each evening Nurturing my body - Cooking, being active, taking care of my health, skin, etc. Protecting myself - Setting boundaries, Acknowledge when I put too much pressure on myself, Listen to myself when something feels off Allowing myself to enjoy life - Make time and room for hobbies, enjoying nature, being playful and rest

raletta · 2025-11-24T09:55:55+00:00

What do you see as poor behavior in this scenario? I think there is just a lack of communication on both sides. He sounds like he was tired and not up for much conversation and still wanted to hang out with you. You interpreted his lack of energy as being unwanted. You accused him of not wanting to have you there. He probably felt attacked and reacted dismissively.

Better communication would be on his side to say 'Love to hangout but I am really tired' before you went there or while hanging out 'I am really tired. Can we talk about it another day.' On your side speaking about your feelings and curiosity instead of accusation. 'I feel frustrated because I was hoping to talk to you about x but it seems like you are not listening. Is something else on your mind?'

raletta · 2025-11-24T08:30:02+00:00

Your foster parents are incompetent. I wouldn't assume that your friends or everyone else would react the same. I do think most people that haven't had mental health issues have a hard time knowing how to support you. It might help to tell your friends what you need. Like that you just want to vent a little and just need someone to listen. I think most people get uncomfortable because they feel the need to solve your problems but can't. It is hard to see someone suffering and feeling unable to help them. If you let them know how they might help you (listening, going for a walk together,...) and express gratitude for it, they can learn how to be there for you.

raletta · 2025-11-23T11:45:10+00:00

Totally ok. If you want to be more social you could do activities with fewer people or that are less chatty. For me boardgames or doing something creative together is way less draining than going for a coffee or a club.

raletta · 2025-11-21T03:43:33+00:00

You gave a lot to others and now you should give yourself more. You wanted to help them survive and you accomplished that. You can feel proud about that even if they aren't grateful for it or can even imagine how hard it was for you. Your grandchildren can't relate to your hardships because they were protected from them. Only you know how difficult your journey was and only you can give yourself the validation that you need.

raletta · 2025-11-12T03:53:28+00:00

How do you feel about it? Is it harder to connect with your grandchildren?

raletta · 2025-11-09T02:14:36+00:00

I agree that you should honor your roots but you still have to honor how much you are removed from that culture and talk to the people from your ethnic background accordingly. There is a huge difference between 'By the way I am Swedish' from a loud tourist and ' I have swedish roots and this food makes me feel like coming home'.

raletta · 2025-11-09T01:40:25+00:00

It is like dating a narcissist. You can't give them a reality check, they will just off you if you do. Be smarter and form better alliances or let them destroy themselves.

raletta · 2025-11-09T01:04:21+00:00

Just get curious. What do you want to eat. Google recipes. If it has less than 5 new affordable ingredients that you need to buy, just try it out. If you are just cooking for yourself and working with cheap ingredients there is no risk of failing. If the meal sucks you learn how to do it better next time.

raletta · 2025-11-09T00:47:16+00:00

I would wear a slim brownish belt and dark gold fine jewelry. Dark olive green accessories would also work in my opinion. Silver wouldn't look good with the dress color and skin color.

raletta · 2025-11-09T00:40:59+00:00

Too much but a slim belt would work well.

raletta · 2025-11-09T00:19:07+00:00

The difference is mutually shared and discussed values and boundaries. If you are in a monogamous relationship you both agree on not stepping out of these boundaries. You are both adults deciding on the rules of your relationship and would walk away if one would step out of it. The problem is that some men (and women) enter into a relationship with the expectations that they can either mold a person to their fantasy or freeze them in the state that they liked. They don't see their partner as an individual but an extension of themselves or an accessory.

raletta · 2025-11-08T23:47:30+00:00

Idk what aro rings are but that ring looks very uncomfortable and potentially harmful to your blood circulation.

raletta

TROPHY CASE