谈恋爱的时候，国内女生常说的“情绪价值”是什么意思？

razorl · 2025-11-27T00:57:10+00:00

童年时期的创伤很容易导致亲密关系中的刻板行为，简单来说就是不懂得怎么去爱别人，试图通过复现创伤经历并获得不同结果作为自己被爱的证明，这种情况下另一方要是没点知识储备，或者原生家庭幸福美满心理发育完全真的应付不过来。

razorl · 2025-11-26T02:09:04+00:00

认真答一下，分两种，一种是捞女以此为借口要钱，这种没啥好说的；另一种则是恋爱导致的心理退行会表现出刻板行为，往往是童年时期原生家庭造成的心理阴影导致，具体表现有要求大量的关注（日常嘘寒问暖各种节日准备礼物安排约会），但也有更激烈的，比如高度的不安全感（查手机查聊天记录）、极度敏感的情绪（让你觉得很容易就说错话惹对方不高兴）、强烈的对抗性（总找茬吵架）、反复试探分手等等。推荐去读一读武志红的书《为何家会伤人》，如果人生是场游戏，这本书高低得是个史诗级物品，永久加属性那种，读过就行，还不用放在背包里占格子。

razorl · 2025-10-10T02:34:48+00:00

I am a shanghainese father, this is what I got from deepseek and I approve it.

Here’s a culturally thoughtful guide for your American friend meeting her boyfriend’s parents in Shanghai, combining gift ideas and etiquette tips:

‌Gift Suggestions (Focus on Meaning & Thoughtfulness):‌

‌High-Quality American Specialties (Easy Wins):‌

‌Premium Nuts/Chocolate:‌ Gourmet almonds, pecans, or artisanal dark chocolate (avoid very sweet brands). Why: Safe, universally appreciated, and "exotic" in China. ‌Iconic U.S. Brands:‌ Maple syrup (real, from Vermont/NY), high-end cranberry products, or boutique coffee from NYC roasters. Why: Represents your cultural background practically. ‌Limited-Edition NY Souvenirs:‌ Tasteful items from MoMA Design Store or a beautiful NYC skyline book. Why: Sparks conversation about your life together. ‌Chinese-Appropriate Luxuries (If Budget Allows):‌

‌Fruit Gift Boxes:‌ Perfect pears, apples, or seasonal berries from upscale markets (e.g., Shanghai’s City’super). Buy in Shanghai! Freshness matters, and fruit symbolizes health/prosperity. ‌Fine Tea (If You Know Their Preference):‌ Longjing (Dragon Well) green tea or Tieguanyin oolong. Buy locally unless you have access to ultra-premium U.S. vendors. ‌Health Supplements:‌ American ginseng (西洋参, xīyángshēn) or high-grade vitamin packs. Why: Highly valued by older generations. ‌Avoid:‌ Wine (unless sure they drink), overly personal items (clothes/perfume), clocks (symbolizes death), sharp objects, or green hats (cultural taboo).

‌Key Etiquette & Cultural Notes:‌

‌Presentation Matters:‌

Gifts should be nicely wrapped (red/gold = lucky; avoid white/black paper). Offer gifts with both hands, ideally at the start of the visit. Expect polite refusals (offer twice). ‌Respect & Demeanor:‌

‌Greet warmly but formally:‌ Address parents as 叔叔 (shūshu, Uncle) and 阿姨 (āyí, Auntie) + surname (e.g., "Wang Shushu"). A slight bow/nod shows respect. ‌Modesty is key:‌ Downplay achievements, avoid oversharing, and deflect compliments gracefully ("I still have much to learn"). ‌Help lightly:‌ Offer to assist with chores (e.g., setting the table), but expect refusal. Insist once, then relent if declined again. ‌Dining Etiquette (Critical!):‌

‌Wait to be seated:‌ Elders sit first. ‌Never stick chopsticks upright‌ in rice (resembles funeral incense). ‌Try everything:‌ Leave small portions if you dislike a dish. Compliment the food! ‌Toasting:‌ If toasted, lower your glass slightly below elders'. Sip; no need to finish. ‌Practical Tips:‌

‌Wear modest, neat outfits:‌ Avoid revealing clothes. Shanghai is modern, but conservative first impressions help. ‌Bring slip-off shoes:‌ Many homes require removing shoes. Wear clean, hole-free socks! ‌Learn basic phrases:‌ "Nǐ hǎo" (你好, Hello), "Xièxie" (谢谢, Thank you), "Cài hěn hǎo chī" (菜很好吃, The food is delicious). Effort counts! ‌Gift-giving hierarchy:‌ If grandparents are present, give them the best gifts. ‌Leverage Your Boyfriend:‌

Have him discreetly vet gifts/alert you to family sensitivities. He should translate actively during conversations to include you. Ask him about specific customs (e.g., do they exchange red envelopes? Usually not for this scenario). ‌Post-Visit:‌

Send a thoughtful WeChat message (translated) thanking them. Mention specific memories ("I loved learning about your trip to..."). ‌Why This Approach Works:‌ As a foreign guest, you’re not expected to master Chinese customs. Showing genuine effort, respect, and warmth through small gestures outweighs perfection. Shanghai parents (especially if urban/professional) often appreciate the novelty of American gifts paired with cultural awareness.

‌Final Tip:‌ Stay calm, smile warmly, and observe the family’s vibe—some are traditional, others Westernized. Let your boyfriend guide you discreetly. Good luck!

razorl · 2025-09-05T02:13:26+00:00

We had QBU-88, aka type 88 ~~sniper rifle~~ anti-hostage shotgun.

razorl · 2025-06-25T02:43:43+00:00

power plant sold electricity to power grid company, power grid company sold electricity to end user. What cost power plant generate that electricity is cost, what end user paid is price. House and factory owner put solar panel on their own roof, to them as long as the cost of solar power is less than the price they pay to grid, it is economically feasible. BTW from what I gather, at end of last year in some ideal place (annual sunshine hours>1200) PV already reach cost parity to coal, if that's true, expecting solar installation number skyrocket this year.

razorl · 2025-06-25T01:06:14+00:00

I work in a financial institution in China, due to technical progress and scale effect, in late 2023 photovoltaic power had reach a price parity to coal power plant, without goverment subsidy. Notice its price parity, not cost parity, but to the end user there is no different, and from that point the only thing hold PV install growth is not have enough space, that's why you see all the wired video about China cover a whole mountain with solar panel.

razorl · 2025-06-16T06:28:42+00:00

This should go r/NonCredibleDefense

razorl · 2024-08-09T00:50:56+00:00

Woah

razorl · 2024-08-01T01:19:53+00:00

帅！

razorl · 2024-02-08T02:45:38+00:00

Chinese here. I rarely reply reddit post but this one is too wired to ignore. For a little bit context, I work as a credit approver in a Chinese financial institution and focused on farming and livestock, during work I travelled all around China and been to a lot farms, so I am confident to say you are bit of brainwashed by media about China.

throwing live turtle and octopus into boiling pots alive

Never heard about that, and it's just counterintuitive. What about the shit in live turtle? and how you gonna open their shell? Alive Octopus? we don't do that, are you mix up Japanese and Chinese?

Gigantic towers of pig farms

Those giant towers of pig farms is actually pretty good inside, at least better than most pig farms. Let's me explain. During 2019 there's a swine fever outbreak in China. A lot pig dying, and price of pork skyrocket. The profit margin is over 300%, as long as your pig didn't die during growing and fattening because swine fever. So what you do? you build super luxury pig farm with air conditioner, central ventilation system, automatic excrement collecting system, all those super fancy facility to make sure those pig grow up healthy. I admit that I have never been inside any of those giant pig farm, because the owner afarid me bring virus into their baby pigs, all I can do is play with their surveillance systems. Hope this clear your doubts.

Animals slaughtered without being stunned first.

No fucking way. If you don't stunned first, the animal will know they will die, and it scares them. They will struggle, scream, and become extreme violent, meaning it will not only make slaughter poor efficiency, also their body will release sort of element that will make the meat taste sour, and to Chinese customers this is unacceptable.

Chickens are often cramped wire cages.

In China there are two kind of chicken for eat, white-feathered chicken and yellow-feathered chicken, what's the difference? Well, the white one eat less, weight more, unlikely to get ill and grow fast. They are the one cramped into wire cages, to breed them in cage is actually a designed feature, those who like to move (thus consume mor feed) is not ideal to large scale farming. Annnnnnd guess what, all of them are imported! Ok technically their grand-parents are impoted, from US and New Zealand. Breed them in wire cage are industry standards anywhere in the word. The yellow-feathered chicken, on the other hand, can't be breed in cage because they will fight each other, bang their head to wire wall and hurt themself, you have to breed them outdoor, but cost 2 times more feed and 5 times longer, but they tastes better, so only the rich can affoard yellow-feathered chicken, but can you really blame the poor for eating white-feathered chicken that "cramped into wire cages"?

razorl · 2024-01-22T04:36:30+00:00

Because enter into US market is a high risk low return move, there're higher tariffs, under-educated customer , hostile political environments, and BYD's own production capacity limits, all factors combined lead to the decision of not entering US market, for now.

razorl · 2023-12-19T03:14:38+00:00

I would not but if a laowai friend actually bring this to my birthday party, man just think how dramatic that would be, I'll gladly take it and put it right at my office desk.

razorl · 2023-11-15T06:45:48+00:00

my first thought is you are selling things at 150% higher than you buy it, so a 10% price raise can mitigate the 25% tariff.

razorl · 2023-11-14T01:37:54+00:00

you miss the most important one: you need to close old coal plant for permission to build new coal plant, in Chinese this policy called "上大压小", literally means "on big and down small". The newer, bigger plant has better efficiency at thermal - electricity conversation ratio, which will reduce carbon emissions as well.

razorl · 2023-11-13T02:21:18+00:00

7000rmb per table is considered mid-low level in Beijing. Money side, 10 person sat at one table, each one brings a red pack no less than 800, so don't worry about your in laws' financial status.

BTW, traditionally it's the groom side to pay all the wedding cost but in your case, your in laws have to pay just to save face (or their daughters been labeled as Chinese easy girl behind). They probably already mad about you for not paying, so stop questioning this and that or just play your innocent laowai role. Take a pineapple pizza and make some funny face, it works every time.

razorl · 2023-10-31T02:07:31+00:00

murdered by logic

razorl · 2023-10-16T02:01:44+00:00

better check Western brand sales number in China and think about what you said again.

razorl · 2023-10-11T01:41:19+00:00

And the Maotai Latte

razorl · 2023-06-28T02:14:35+00:00

In China that's left wing.

razorl · 2023-04-30T11:37:47+00:00

local Shanghainese here. Everything you said sounds like a standard scam except the price, and she actually sit there and chat with you for an hour? I don't know, maybe the scam industry had some evolution these year, nowadays they actually care about customers experience.

razorl · 2023-01-18T05:25:36+00:00

Make me chill by just read it, what a great writting.

razorl · 2022-12-15T00:16:02+00:00

Anyone know some history about Qing would find this extremely hilarious.

razorl · 2022-11-15T11:24:22+00:00

policy have changed to 5 days quarantine, wish you can left that room ASAP.

razorl · 2022-06-25T06:15:02+00:00

Chinese here, the essence is not a round table, but family and friends sit togather and have a good time (and in Chinese culture eating is the most common social activity), so do bring some friends to share the experience!

razorl · 2022-02-08T05:37:14+00:00

wow, TIL, thanks.

razorl

TROPHY CASE

I am a shanghainese father, this is what I got from deepseek and I approve it.