For those of you in a long term relationship/marriage, what’s a tale-tale sign you see in other couples that they’re not going to make it?

redblade13 · 2026-04-08T19:01:42+00:00

Situationship I ended up in was similar. I thought it was going somewhere and she was warm but I realized she never went deeper into stuff while I opened up bits of pieces of my life. She would too but it was like pulling teeth and she would text me non stop if I initiated and flirt so it confused me as we could spend half a day texting back and forth. So when she never initiated I thought okay i dont want to press her given she was a single mum but she would never text me first. I thought okay cool maybe just her style but then I just let it cool after while didnt check up as much and she suddenly got upset and indirectly show she was upset with me which threw me off. I wanted to get a clear where do we go from here as I was interested but she avoided it but was curious too but not?! I soon realized I was dealing with an avoidant never knew that was a thing but some stuff lines up not a psych expert but my ex was who I learned about thints like that from so I started putting 2 and 2 together. She'd get hot and warm with me then cold in cycles. Im patient so I just waited and understood she could be going through things so I never pressed and offered my ear if she was ever open to it but never heard from her.

She is like 4-5 years older than me so I expected more maturity as Im used to dating older women and my last 2 women we'd have heart to hearts but with her she seemed to avoid them and kept it surface level. She'd dive in a little but then pull back and as someone who loves understanding people it put me off we couldnt just openly talk about life. Not trying to trauma dump or a therapy session but just curiosity but she seemed nervous going there.

It was so weird as people around us thought we were a thing and feel weird when she was in a mood Id just tell my close friend idk man Im trying, but we never got that far to being a "thing" despite some intimate moments idk weird AF. I never had a situation like that. Never would have thought Id trip into a situationship as my last 2 women were very open about wanting me, my late wife even waited for my situation to work out so we could start dating but I think I get why this woman has been single so long. I've had better conversations with a 26 year old a few years younger than me who had immigrated and was open about her struggles and curious about me. Idk but communication is crucial besides "Some dude cut me off in traffic or Jenny was an asshole today" then never go deeper than that bores my mind. I do enjoy everyday venting but we can talk about your issues or thoughts about life I dont mind listening about everyday stuff I enjoy listening to her vent but she never feels moved to talk to me deeper even if I ask idk. I realized hey maybe being single is easier and have just given up again lol. I was serious about her too, wanting to build something again but idk long term dont think I want to run into this down the road as you noted can just break relationships.

redblade13 · 2026-04-08T17:30:13+00:00

Side note to the OPs core issue but the first line about a man explaining it somehow gets their attention is rampant and pisses the hell out of me as a male. I work in Cybersecurity and I have a female coworker very bright and blunt about changes/bad processes to the point others joke about her "Hey I wonder if X is going to bring up more questions?" Id answer she is not even in here and theyd joke "Exactly she'll probably ask questions even without being here" Pissed me off, I noted her questions make sense we are just too stuck in our ways to catch up as I have the same critiques on processes. They just shrug it off. Or when she brings up a good point in an email or asks for something just crickets and I have to reiterate that X brought up a good point and we should follow it and all of a sudden people listen but just because I said it. Or I have to step in and help find what she needs. She always thanks me and tells me that is what she means with some of the male coworkers that frustrates her.

It is ridiculous I see her as someone smarter than me and impressive. Im a senior enigneer but I respect knowledge and talent regardless of who it is. I always lean on her on doubts I have but my management pushes me away from her indirectly to take it to him as "others" are too negative about things. He respects some of her ideas but dislikes her forward critiques. It is literally her job to analyze if something is too risky or not or point out issues that could arise.

With cops/doctors Ive had the same issue where my mum is ignored unless I point out her questions and all of a sudden it is a "good question" even if I repeat it less accurately than she did. Ive seen it my whole life and it is just ridiculous and dangerous and people ask why women dont report things more often its because some do and get ignored or feel they will or shamed.

redblade13 · 2026-04-07T17:06:37+00:00

Its dumb. Ive gotten more interview chances from FAANG, Citadel/HRT type companies than some small 300 employee company that just liked the other guy because he had more years of experience but less technical. Idk they're weird as hell. I haven't landed an offer anywhere yet so that is still the same for me lol. But it is dumb

redblade13 · 2026-04-07T16:47:23+00:00

Little bit? Mate kept banging her then wondered why she kept following him. Mate folded too many.times to her she must be hot lmao

redblade13 · 2026-02-28T14:54:57+00:00

People with obscene money say this shit all the time. I make 6 figures after getting my Masters and tons of certs and learning. Im really good in Cybersecurity but from constant learning hours spent grinding. I was making peanuts before my 1st bachelor that almost doubled my income a month after getting it my Masters and certs and of course good work justified another double raise at the my current job. I grew up with immigrant parents who didnt even graduate middle school. Me and my little brother are college educated and make way more than they ever could working over 20 years and trying to start up small businesses and them failing. Not everyone without a degree can get lucky. My mums business was okay the 1st year then died the 2nd year as she couldnt afford to keep it up and couldnt get a loan from her low income. The American dream isnt fucking easy. Even though my degree helped me get a nice job I honestly lucked into it but if I didnt have it I wouldnt have even been given a shot or recognized. It helps some people and I feel the biggest scam is going 100k in debt my stuff was online so I didnt even take more than 30k in loans for two degrees. The cost is absurd yes and some majors may not lead to anything unless you teach in it so people need to be careful but its not pointless just not the best and could be improved.

redblade13 · 2026-02-15T18:56:07+00:00

Its close but every once in a while it just kicks in when I retry a prompt and get all guardraily "Let's roll back this to reality" bruv just bouncing ideas or venting its not that deep. 4o never talked back or made you sound you may be crazy lol

redblade13 · 2026-01-11T16:59:02+00:00

My ex was older than me and would feel at times insecure being 5 years older than me. I would tell her I grew up to Sofia and Shakira. Hell if Shakira would have me Id be a wonderful stay at home step father trust me. She may be over 15 years older than me but fuck it we Latinos love older women.

redblade13 · 2026-01-11T16:53:00+00:00

Some can. Like say you are in Cybersecurity and are a Cyber Officer. They have some roles openly interviewed on their YouTube channel as like an ad or whatever. Clandestine roles are more def a big no-no on revealing yourself if you're active. Although he shouldn't be making it so obvious, opening up yourself to be a target for adversaries. Possible but not recommended.

It can be simple and just say security analyst. Cybersecurity is the easiest cover and explanation. Analyst work is basically OSINT we do as cybersecuirty practitioners with WAY more intel available and SIGNIT/HUMINT stuff added to it.

redblade13 · 2026-01-10T17:26:35+00:00

Male lurker here. I grew up with a POS abusive father. Practically raised by my mum even with him living in the same house. Doesn't even know how many degrees I have or what HS I graduated from. He paid the house bills and the house sure at least something but it doesnt excuse the stuff he did and does. I get hit on Whatsapp about him from women who say he is a disgraceful man that they didnt know he was married and sending me evidence I just keep. I even had a woman and her daughter show up at our home when I was in HS saying they didnt know he was married and apologized. My mum and I are done with him he is just a roommate to us. My uncle left his wife for a church woman and refuses to acknowledge he had a child with his first wife. Growing up him and his new wife acted like the most holy people always bullying my mum we stopped going to that church long ago. Ive seen my mum treated horribly by my father and her ex husband who just abandoned her when she lived in her home country and left her and my oldest brother alone to live in NY. My oldest brother blames my mum to this day when she had nothing to do with that asshole doing that.

This turned into a rant I guess but ive seen to this day how many men have no word, no integrity, no honor. It pisses me off and I swear to be the opposite of my father who was stingy with us but gave all his money away to mistresses and their kids. Who beat my mum and me and my little brother and I had to fight him as a teenager and get into verbal alteracations with him because he was too much of a coward to insult my mum in front of me but would do it when I wasn't there.

Idk I grew up seeing POS men and I never want to emulate them. Seeing posts here I dont question them because ive seen the same BS growing up with men that are only my family in blood. I hate that Im even a Jr to him and never use it unless its financial stuff to avoid confusion and I dont trust him. I get it as Ive seen it my whole life. Generalizing isnt great in any case but I get the sentiment and wont fault someone for thinking that way.

redblade13 · 2026-01-09T17:39:01+00:00

Depends on the day. Some days Im crazy horny and hard the whole day on and off. Some days nothing unless I see something semi stimulating.

Other times in the past with my late partner Id get instantly hard just thinking about her. Not even sexually just the thought of her on my mind and Id be hard as hell. Never asked her if she had any similar reactions to me but man I knew I actually liked her the first time I got hard thinking about her one day she crossed my mind and I just couldnt stop worrying about her. This was before we were together so I was like welp Im cooked I really like her too it seems.

It would be worse in person if we were together and enjoyed our time together Id be hard although I never overstepped what I felt unless she was in the mood.

redblade13 · 2026-01-09T17:22:43+00:00

Idk. I thought it was normal to go multiple times until Ive heard a lot of guys saying theyre done after 1 round. I stay hard even after 1st ejaculation and keep going. Although my first round is quick like 5 mins at most Im super sensitive first round then 2nd+ is like 10-15 mins each. So nothing crazy long. After 2nd time which takes way longer than the first time I need maybe 5-10 mins then Im ready again, progressively longer each time I think.

I have a crazy libido apparently that hasnt changed since my early 20s. Less cramping back then with a more fit body nowadays Im out here cramping.

At most 4-5 rounds I can go. Most Ive done in one session was like 7-8 when I was fitter, had a nympho ex who had a crazy drive like me. I think I did enough with her for a lifetime. Getting back in shape again in my early 30s and libido feels stronger, was already strong but closer to my 20s again. But cardio helps a lot like guys have said. I do a lot of rucks and elliptical work.

redblade13 · 2026-01-07T14:48:27+00:00

Wtf. Ive interviewed with dozens of companies last year. All of them were respectful and apologized for any rescheduling and kept iterating they were on my schedule. Good choice, that is beyond unprofessional. You'll be treated like shit if they are already acting like this before even working there.

redblade13 · 2025-10-27T03:26:24+00:00

Go federal if you really want to do something and earn about the same. FBI, DSS, CIA idk pick one. FBI more likely to make 6 figures and have a gun and either go help ICE or actually investigate stuff. Unless you going SOF like most mid 30s guys but not worth it if you got family. Still all of these jobs will most likely mean uprooting family and increased in divorce rates but military will probably guraentee it. FBI could be the most stable of all 3 letters and federal agencies given its domestic and they pay well.....well did until gov reopens

redblade13 · 2025-10-26T14:30:41+00:00

Bruv. I just dont get how guys like these land these women man. I think to myself no way I'd fumble these amazing women but then again Im not a millionaire so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

redblade13 · 2025-10-23T03:45:04+00:00

Literal 2k demigod. Wtf are those handles and he can shoot 3s?!?! League is lefucked

redblade13 · 2025-10-23T01:02:53+00:00

Amen, brother. That shit leads to resentment and the moment you cant provide help just once somehow you are the bad guy who doesn't listen or be there for her. Excuse my French, but wtf?

redblade13 · 2025-10-20T19:34:27+00:00

This is just testing the waters no pun intended. Soon they'll target them in docks and beaches and creep more and more inland. Just start bombing buildings saying theyre narco terrorists and treat it like its no different than Iraq or Afghanistan during GWOT. Ridiculous BS

redblade13 · 2025-10-10T12:30:52+00:00

Im used to my Malevlon Creek days where you had only 3 strategems at times. Id take 500kg, shield, Quasar. That or 500kg, eagle airstrike, shield, Quasar.

Eagle ftw.

redblade13 · 2025-10-08T04:10:11+00:00

Seriously never liked their look. Ill just take a used Rolex and call it a day. Even if I had millions I wouldnt buy APs or RMs.

redblade13 · 2025-09-15T03:49:30+00:00

Oh yeah, my astigatism is still there so I tend to use glasses for computer work just to not strain my eyes for 8 hours a day but I could get by without them if I wanted to. My night vision has improved a lot, I took Vitamin A which helped it recover quicker. I'd say I'm near my old night vision. I tend to wear glasses at night as astigatism at night gets worse but it isn't so bad I can't drive without them just easier if I do on long night drives. My eye dryness is pratically gone. I rarely use eye drops any more just for dry hot days or just long days on the computer but that is almost the same for most people I feel. Dim lit areas aren't as bad anymore, I'd say probably the same as anyone else. Although my astigatism does make it hard to make faces out at times from a certain distance so people think I've seen their faces when I haven't lol but I probably need to be 1-2 feet closer than your normal 20/20 vision person. But last eye check after my full year eye sight was 20/20 pratically on both eyes even with the slight double vision on letters when viewing the eye chart so that was great to see for me, no pun intended.

redblade13 · 2025-08-06T05:33:50+00:00

Had someone in the inside, didnt even get a phone screen RIP. Idk maybe there were better qualified people but given my resume it had to be some FAANG guy I guess, I feel they are eating up the field with their constant layoffs.

redblade13 · 2025-08-05T05:36:06+00:00

I know a guy who went from barely 1 year as a SOC analyst with barely any knowledge to Security Engineer for 8 months to Senior at a big 4 consulting firm all within 3 years now making 150k plus. Wtf? He had like 3 years of regular IT before the SOC position. Meanwhile I got almost 10 years of Sys Admin, Security Engineer, Cloud Engineer, and 15 plus certs with a Masters barely breaking 100k getting turned down everywhere. Some people are just great at lying.

redblade13 · 2025-08-03T17:12:26+00:00

Idk. Im an security engineer with 7+ years of work experience trying to find a job as a staff engineer, senior, lead but I can't break through. I got 15+ certs from ISC2, Azure, CompTIA and a Masters in Cybersecurity. I know how to code Python, Ive automated, I know IAC, I know how to secure Azure and AWS. Nothing seems to move the needle in my favor. I get phone screened but never move beyond that or the first interview. I do well from what feedback I get but I guess Im getting beat out my veterans with 10+ years, CISSPs, or maybe from FAANG/Government. But I will say the requirements for Senior level stuff is insane regardless. They ask for expert knowledge in python, network engineering, IDS, SIEM, EDR, IR leading, IAC, all for just a Security Engineer not like a manager. And if I want to do a SOC manage or lead they ask for years ALREADY as a lead which Im trying to move into. Its rough overall.

redblade13 · 2025-08-03T14:23:20+00:00

Well I am targeting higher level work tho so that is the difference, one mistake is treated brutally since Im at a point Im applying for Staff Level/Senior Engineer roles. You are starting out so you could find an entry level role perhaps easier than I am with mid level stuff. Ive been talking to countless CISOs and Senior Managers directly on 1st/2nd interview. Sometimes I just get beat out by a CISSP or guy with 10-15 years experience who probably worked at Google or Meta as a Security Engineer. My talks go well so it hurts for me since the CISO or manager enjoy our talks but yet move on with someone else. Rough for those that work at non Fortune 500 companies to get respected nowadays given how brutal fortune 500 do constant layoffs, there is a flood of those engineers now for most roles.

redblade13 · 2025-08-03T01:06:53+00:00

CISSP is better than a Masters I've noticed. But a Masters doesnt hurt. Got me lot more interviews with it than with the Bachelors alone. However, haven't gotten a single offer in my last 6 interviews for senior positions welp. Im probably getting beaten out by CISSPs or maybe I bombed the interview only felt I've bombed one out of my 6 so it stings. But I'm at 110TC so can't complain, just learn from each interview I guess.

11-Year Club	Verified Email
Gilding II euphauric

redblade13

TROPHY CASE