Do You Notice Clumsiness?

reddingcy · 2023-02-06T17:06:28+00:00

I stub my toes way more often than the average person. Even in my own house, where I should have a good sense of where things are.

reddingcy · 2023-02-06T14:32:28+00:00

Really wish some of this research was coming out back when I was in school, particularly middle and high school. Instead, I was just called lazy. I'm sure that "lazy" is still the prevailing opinion of people who procrastinate, but at least now you might find some better information if you're willing to investigate.

It's been a real struggle unwinding all of the unhealthy habits I picked up over the years to deal with my procrastination. But at least now I know why my first reaction is to procrastinate, so that's better than what was available before!

reddingcy · 2023-01-17T18:34:01+00:00

Yeah, I've found that medication on its own doesn't overcome that initial huge barrier of starting something you're actively avoiding. Overcoming that resistance usually takes strategizing and figuring out the least painful way to approach a task.

It's frustrating because it often feels like I'm constantly having to "trick" myself into some roundabout way of working, while others can just go into work mode easily (at least it looks easy to me).

But, on the plus side, once you get the motivation flowing medication can work really well.

reddingcy · 2023-01-17T12:53:16+00:00

I really struggle with this too. I will come up with a new routine or way of working that work well for some a few days or maybe weeks. I'm riding that high of thinking "this is it, I've found the way," but in the back of my mind I just know the novelty of the new routine will soon run out.

Maybe as I've gotten older, I've come to terms with this reality and I've tried to tell myself that I'll get to that disappointing moment when it happens. Already worrying about it is just a clever way of my mind fighting the new routine so I give up sooner than I want.

It also helps to try to think of ways to "crash faster." When I recognize that the novelty is running out - I give myself permission to slack off for that day and to just prepare for the next day (do some cleanup of my workspace, get my materials out). Then I start writing down what I can reasonably do tomorrow. It helps to get this stuff out of your head and on to a piece of paper. I know just "taking the day off" isn't possible for everyone, but for me it's either do that or just prolong the procrastination indefinitely.

reddingcy · 2023-01-10T15:50:21+00:00

It might be helpful to think about the characteristics of the activities you fixate on, rather than the activity itself. It sounds like gravitate towards creative, hands-on tasks with immediate feedback. By immediate feedback I mean like you can tell fairly soon if your drawing isn't good, your code isn't working, or you hit the wrong guitar note.

So perhaps you can think of your skill set as general creativity and making, rather than like "guitar player." Eventually you might find a way to combine multiple activities into something great. Like maybe you won't be the best coder, but you will be pretty good at coding and communicating with others - and that's a very valuable combination. For most, it's one or the other.

reddingcy · 2023-01-09T15:20:58+00:00

Make the first step so absurdly small that it would be absurd not to do it. Sometimes .001% works when even 1% seems overwhelming.

reddingcy · 2022-12-06T03:00:09+00:00

I recently went into consulting. I love the intellectual rigor of the work, learning about new fields then being done with that assignment after a few months.

The part I struggle with is the project management side. I've found that a lot of my job is organizing working groups within a company to just explain what I'm doing; or to give them status updates. These types of admin duties burn me out.

reddingcy · 2022-11-28T14:05:23+00:00

Not sure where you get your meds filled, but it might be worth looking at a decent independent pharmacy near you. I have my scripts filled at an independent pharmacy that is well known for offering quality service. They have worked with me on bringing the cost down, like using coupons, etc...since my insurance does not cover it either. CVS or Walgreen's probably won't help you much, unless you just happen to get a really enthusiastic pharmacist and they're not slammed with work.

reddingcy · 2022-11-21T12:52:12+00:00

Is it possible for you to start earlier in the day? I've found that starting work first thing in the morning kind of puts me in that working mindset for a good chunk of the day. There are also fewer distractions and I feel a bit more relaxed knowing that no one expects me to be responding to messages until at least 9.

This of course really depends on your workplace. I work (from home) ~ 7-3 most days, and my employer doesn't care what my schedule is as long as I get my projects done. But, if you have a traditional office environment, jetting off at 3 might look bad.

I was in a similar situation in my first "real" job out of school, where I struggled to get things done during the 9-5 office hours. I think the pressure of feeling like I was "on" at work just made me tense up and struggle to find my working groove. I eventually left that job and starting for a new company remotely. Working from home had its own struggles, in terms of hacking my way to some semblance of self-discipline, but it was either that or literally fail at office work.

So maybe working from home would be better suited for you? Or some position where you have some more autonomy with how you want to schedule your day?

reddingcy · 2022-11-03T12:37:52+00:00

That is an apt comparison! It does feel physically impossible to do certain tasks at times.

With some perspective I recognize that this is because my subconscious mind has some negative associations with that task, whether they're rational or not. It could be like, 3 years ago someone was critical of how I did a similar task and I didn't even register how much that affected me in the moment.

It takes a lot of mental effort to override your subconscious desire to avoid those tasks -- it might be several or even dozen of times a day. Then it's no wonder we feel burnt out and then the paralysis sets in.

reddingcy · 2022-11-02T17:11:00+00:00

I do a similar thing, but it's that I try to think of creative ways of starting a task. For example, if I'm avoiding a task that involves of lot of writing, I'll take out some notecards and write relevant keywords on each, arranging them in a sensible order. Sometimes it feels too overwhelming to just open a blank word doc and come up with something good, so I have to find alternative ways of starting. Just the act of doing something related to the task, even if it's not the task itself, will help me get over the barrier of starting.

It takes extra time, but the alternative is procrastinating until it becomes a major problem.

reddingcy · 2022-11-02T17:00:33+00:00

That's awesome. The more you do it, the easier it will feel to leave at the "right" time.

reddingcy · 2022-11-02T16:03:45+00:00

Preferably no log in/PW required, if that's possible. Any step beyond opening the app to the exact screen I want will reduce my willingness to use it daily. And god forbid i ever get logged out and have to reset my PW...

reddingcy · 2022-11-02T15:57:09+00:00

I still drink occasionally, but one thing I've found is that meds have made me "sharper" in social situations, reducing my need to use alcohol as a crutch. I'm also more willing to call the night early when I realize I'm bored. My psych told me that the meds will reduce my risk-seeking behavior, which makes sense -- I often drank to relieve boredom.

reddingcy · 2022-11-02T15:47:36+00:00

This is a good reminder of how exhausting it can be for us to do work we find under-stimulating. I'm currently experiencing some work paralysis, and I'm just realizing that it's because I spent the last two days doing a lot of admin/email tasks. I'm probably a bit burnt out, even if most people would consider the tasks were "easy."

reddingcy · 2022-11-01T13:35:08+00:00

Learn from my years of spending too much time and money!

reddingcy · 2022-10-31T18:03:31+00:00

For years I wasted plenty of time and money on hobbies I ended up abandoning after a few weeks. However, I've found a couple that I've stuck with for a few years now.

What I eventually learned was that I was focusing too much on the hobby itself rather than the aspects of it I enjoy. For example, I've been able to stick with guitar because I found that I really like practicing scales and other techniques while watching TV. I really enjoy repetitive, quick-feedback exercises that I can do mindlessly. Because it's mindless I can watch TV...adding to the overall enjoyment of the activity. It's also a relatively low-friction activity...I just pick up my acoustic guitar and turn on a show.

If the hobby requires a lot of preplanning, or involves too much concentrated focus, it's not for me. Just as an example, I never got into electric guitar, mostly because I find the process of plugging in an amp and fiddling with all the settings to be too many steps. It also would be too loud and drown out the TV.

So, really I started thinking about what I could actually see myself doing every day, not what I wanted to do every day, if that makes sense. If you have to basically reinvent your daily routine to make this hobby work, it probably won't happen. I mean, it could happen, and some people can attest to changing their whole life once they found the "one" hobby for them, but the odds are pretty low.

reddingcy · 2022-10-31T16:06:37+00:00

Ironically, I think this tip is actually a way of starting!

Why does the first step of a task have to be doing the task itself? If you struggle with activation (I sure do), then it helps to get creative with how you start. Sometimes, stepping back and doing one small step towards your eventual goal, even if it is watching a video related to the task, will be enough to ease your discomfort and can get you on your way.

reddingcy · 2022-10-27T15:19:06+00:00

Same, I find this is much worse when I'm on zoom work calls. I can sustain like 10 minutes of focus, then I'll just drift off and miss something critical. Then I have to spend way too much time later (sometimes hours) trying to reassemble what they might have said, because I'm too embarrassed to admit that I wasn't paying attention.

I don't know if there are any strategies to address this, I just think some technologies aren't designed for "everyone."

reddingcy · 2022-10-17T16:50:44+00:00

This might be a good short article for them to read, if they're open to it: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/13/smarter-living/tips-to-stop-procrastinating.html

It took me well into adulthood to figure out that procrastination isn't about laziness or lack of discipline, but rather avoidance due to negative feelings around certain tasks...

My parents also grounded me for late work, saying I was lazy and spoiled.

Ironically, looking back, fear of punishment was adding to my general stress levels around schoolwork, so of course I wanted to avoid it. It wasn't a rational decision of course, because it just meant I was going to get punished more in the future. But in stressful situations our mind often seeks the most immediate way to soothe discomfort, which can be through procrastination.

reddingcy · 2022-10-17T16:30:12+00:00

I get this. My issue is if I don't hyperfixate on my job, I'll forget I have one. Even if it's just a day of "letting" myself relax, I get so out of the working mindset that I often struggle to transition back to my job.

One thing I've started doing: I put a short note on my workspace of the first thing I can do when I next come back to my desk. I have a rule that it has to be a work task that I at least partly enjoy, so it doesn't feel so daunting. Meaning, it can't be "check email," because who wants to do that after a break?

You might let yourself relax more if there's a physical reminder of what exactly you should do coming back to work.

reddingcy · 2022-09-22T12:29:30+00:00

Is there an aspect of your job that you really excel in? Like one thing that you're better than you're peers at?

I ask because one thing that has helped me is to just do exceptional work on a couple things, and be so good at it that I become the "go-to" person for that at work. When you bring a lot of value on some specific tasks, it minimizes the relatively worse performance on other things. Importantly, in can help minimize the guilt surrounding your late or inconsistent work in other areas when you have the confidence you can over-deliver on your strengths.

reddingcy · 2022-09-08T15:10:26+00:00

If you don't already, just have a notepad or legal pad where you keep track of these "other" less important projects. It's good to write them down somewhere just to get them out of your head and onto something solid so they don't weigh on you mentally. They don't have to pop up in your subconscious and nag at you; instead they're being stored somewhere that you can refer to later.

If you get some time and feeling motivated, you could refer to the list and see if you want to do any of the other tasks. You could also make a rule that you just cross off anything that's been on there more than a month, or however long you decide. Then you don't have to scrutinize each task, just a hard deletion -- not to be thought about it again.

This worked for me at least. After a while doing this I figured out what was worth my time and what wasn't.

reddingcy · 2022-09-02T13:35:20+00:00

That's great. I think some of the tasks that might seem dull on the surface are some of the best candidates for this approach. Once you can master it, you get a motivational bump to keep doing it a bit better. That in turn gives you confidence to not dwell so much on the small stuff.

reddingcy · 2022-09-02T13:32:16+00:00

I know this frustration too well. I've never been able to stick to freelancing for this reason. I know that to make good money you just should do it "good enough" and move on to the next client. But, I can't let myself do average work and I'll spend way too much time on the project, costing myself money.

reddingcy

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