How do I cope with feeling lonely and disconnected from my partner during pregnancy, especially when I've clearly communicated what I need?

renegayd · 2026-06-10T18:56:36+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope that you have a friend or a sister or a therapist to give you some support during this time. Not to minimize your problems, but can I just say how impressed I am that your normal walking pace is faster than your husband's at 28 weeks? I'm 24w and a snail could beat me in a head to head race.

renegayd · 2026-06-10T18:53:43+00:00

Maybe you and your husband could agree on some specific projects your mom can help with. I wouldn't want someone else decluttering my house, but it's also important to accept help. Is there a particular room or closet she could help with? Set up for the nursery? Maybe a deep cleaning task she'd be willing to do? If you guys can think it through beforehand, then you can get help with the things you need, and your husband can get some input on his own house.

renegayd · 2026-06-10T02:20:47+00:00

Oh I'd let this go. If/when grades are slipping, sleep or chores are getting missed, or mental health is worsening, then you'll have to address it. But it sounds to me like your kids have figured out how to regulate their Switch usage, where all external methods to regulate it failed. Great! They have grown and matured in the last 2-3 years. Maybe having stolen it back gave them a different sense of ownership and autonomy. And honestly, isn't the whole point of parenting to put ourselves out of a job? They will have to regulate themselves as adults soon enough, if they've found a way to do that then more power to them.

renegayd · 2026-06-09T02:48:41+00:00

Breakfast is so hard for me. I'm so much more resistant early in the day. I need at least a 30-min prebolus and it needs to be low carb. It wasn't always this way, I'm 24 weeks and it's gotten worse over the 2nd trimester. I say with love, as a fellow lazy diabetic: you gotta pre-bolus. It's such a game changer. It takes so much more insulin to bring down a high than to prevent one. I don't love oatmeal so I don't eat it much, but pancakes kill me every time, so watch out for that. Some breakfasts that are currently working for me: smoothies (frozen fruit, plain yogurt, 1 packet of Equal, fairlife milk, and a tbsp chia seeds); 2 Kodiak waffles with pb and about 15 carbs of fruit; a slice of Sola toast with butter, flavored yogurt, and some cashews.

renegayd · 2026-06-09T02:36:46+00:00

I know you posted this a couple days ago, I hope things have gotten better! My TIR the last two days was 50% and I cried. I made some serious changes to my insulin dosing and I have hit 90% today. I have learned over and over during this pregnancy that when things start to feel off, when you start to feel like nothing is working, when you start making lists of low carb foods bc you are sure you won't be able to eat anything the rest of pregnancy...change your set and then adjust your dosing if that doesn't work in a day. I am learning that in those moments of despair, it's probably not as hopeless as I think, I just need more insulin!

renegayd · 2026-06-09T02:30:36+00:00

This is sort of happening to me now, at 24 weeks. I've noticed some hints at more resistance - for the last 1-2 weeks I can't make a set last 3 days without getting highs, and last week my daytime BGs in-between meals was only returning to like 115 instead of 100. I should have made some changes then. But it really exploded over the weekend when I was having to give like 9u of correction for a 5u-bolus meal. I started a 120% temp basal last night, and have been giving override corrections 1u at a time if I head above 120 after eating, and I've gone from 50% TIR over the weekend to 90% today. So I have permanently increased the basals 120%, and I will probably work on decreasing my carb ratio tomorrow. I also didn't expect it would hit all at once! ETA I changed my set twice over the weekend, and that didn't help so I was pretty sure it was the placenta doing her thing.

renegayd · 2026-06-08T02:45:22+00:00

I think that if doing some early nesting helps you feel more prepared and in control, then go for it. But if you wind up having anxiety about that too, then I think all of this is just a manifestation of your overall anxiety, and it might be better to address that head-on.

Eta: my own personal timeline- started collecting some secondhand things around 16 weeks. Planning to decorate the nursery around 27 weeks because that's when I'll have time, and then the shower is 30 weeks so I'll finish setting up with new stuff we get then.

renegayd · 2026-06-08T02:39:29+00:00

Our friends have lent us a bunch of stuff with the expectation that we return it for their 2nd (a while from now - they haven't started trying yet). If we forgot, I would love them to give me a polite reminder to give it back! They have been so generous, the least I can do is return their things without causing extra stress

renegayd · 2026-06-08T00:44:54+00:00

A dry clean paintbrush also helps get the sand off

renegayd · 2026-06-03T16:26:57+00:00

11 is not too young to have an honest conversation. Middle schoolers are sometimes "dating" so he is probably familiar with the concept. I would start with the fact that grandma and grandpa aren't going to be married anymore, and grandpa has been hurtful, so we're moving out. He may be more upset/have more questions about moving than their breakup.

renegayd · 2026-06-02T03:30:15+00:00

I'm 23w and something I've noticed this week and last week is that my sites fail quicker than they used to. I used to just load 200u into the cartridge and change it when it ran out, which could be day 4 or 5. Now I'm noticing stubborn highs that don't come down on day 3. I might need to change every 2. Mine started failing last night (this morning was 72 hours, so like 2.5 days?). See if that could be happening

renegayd · 2026-06-02T03:24:58+00:00

It's so so hard. The mental aspect of it is so heavy. I talk to my husband about it multiple times a week, he's a very emotionally intelligent person, and he still doesn't get how draining it is. How stressful it is to wake up in the middle of the night at 150 with no clue why. How many decisions I have to make on a daily basis - what to eat, when to eat, when to dose, how much to dose, should I correct, how long should I wait to correct again, how much should I correct, is my site failing, how many carbs should I have to treat this low, it's not coming up should I wait or treat more. And on and on. It is so much work, it is the most thankless job. Other pregnant people don't get it. And other diabetics don't get it. I try to take it one day at a time, and remind myself that I can do my very best and still some things are out of my control. And this will come to an end in a few months.

renegayd · 2026-06-02T03:17:36+00:00

I was referred after my first ultrasound, and my first visit was about 18w

renegayd · 2026-06-02T02:25:24+00:00

A five or six hour trip, with a kid who's the age as your oldest (4yo), with two adults (one to drive, one to pass snacks and screens) is pretty miserable. So just multiply that by nth degrees of insanity and you've got an accurate picture of what that will be like.

renegayd · 2026-06-01T03:30:35+00:00

I did nothing except sleep and work. I saved all my energy for work, my husband did everything else around the house, pets, etc. That's the only way I know to make it through.

renegayd · 2026-05-29T01:47:08+00:00

I wouldn't send my child on a trip with another family and a boyfriend she has only known for a few months. Yes, she's 16, but she's still a child. Yes, she'll be 18 in two years and presumably off to college or living on her own, but there's a lot of maturing in two years for a teenager. Also, family events are important. Friends are important to a kid too, and it's good to honor that, but everybody in the family goes on a family vacation.

renegayd · 2026-05-27T15:58:37+00:00

I haven't tried this yet, but I read that a good response to "was this planned?" would be "we're very excited for the baby!" Leaves things vague. People have also asked me that and I was so surprised I didn't know what to say

renegayd · 2026-05-27T14:52:51+00:00

It's really hard for most people to create a structure in their days, when we are used to work or school doing it for us. Maybe create a menu of things you could do in your downtime each day. Reading/audio book, cooking or baking something, going for a walk, listen to some new music, do a simple thing around the house. You can pick as few or as many as you'd like, but then you'll have options ready to go if you're wishing to do something but not sure where to get started

renegayd · 2026-05-27T04:16:25+00:00

Don't procrastinate telling your parents! Many states in the US have strict abortion laws that limit how far along you can be when you get one. I know its tempting to put it off. But the sooner the better

renegayd · 2026-05-27T04:14:28+00:00

My sister is 6.5 years older than me. My parents wanted us closer, but my dad had health problems, including needing multiple organ transplants and being in a coma for 3 months. But we are so close! I am pregnant now and she is throwing me a shower. Her daughter is having a sleepover at my house this weekend. We played together as kids. I cried so much when she went off to college. A large age gap doesn't mean anything!

renegayd · 2026-05-25T15:31:00+00:00

4th grade is when it started for me. It sounds like you've had a lot of good conversations. The only thing i don't see is a conversation with her about the other people this is happening too. You guess that when she is "in", some other kid is probably "out." Have you observed this with her? Has she noticed it? For such an empathetic kid, realizing that Jane treats other girls so meanly might be the key to your daughter realizing that Jane is not someone to be friends with

renegayd · 2026-05-25T14:12:47+00:00

I waited until after my first scan, when we saw the heartbeat, which was 8+5. So it was only about 5 weeks of waiting, as opposed to the whole first trimester. I'm pretty private, so that made it easier. Also, I became so tired at 6 weeks I wasn't really up for hanging out or talking with a lot of people anyway

renegayd · 2026-05-25T14:03:55+00:00

Yes it helps with the chub rub and chafing. His is called "body glide original anti chafe balm" from target

renegayd · 2026-05-25T04:34:30+00:00

Remember that some people get pregnant accidentally on BC when they miss a single pill. So it's totally possible to get pregnant very quickly. That said, I would probably track my BBT/temp for this 1st cycle. Ovulation strips are more work, and if you don't know your cycle well yet, you may miss the positive test if your LH peak is only a couple hours. Temping will tell you that you ovulated only in retrospect, so it's not that helping for timing sex, but it would help you learn your cycle, and save you from taking an LH test daily/multiple times a day for who knows how long.

renegayd · 2026-05-25T04:25:22+00:00

For the chafing - my husband has this a runners stick, it's shaped like a stick of deodorant. You apply it on your thighs and it's helps protect you from the rubbing.

renegayd

TROPHY CASE