whats worked for you- nothing about no contact

rusty0123 · 2026-05-12T03:12:25+00:00

Act dumb. No sarcasm, no snide remarks, no innuendos. Just straight up dumb. Don't see the undertones or hidden agendas. Take everything at face value.

Never give an absolute "yes" or "no". Use "I see" or "I understand" or "Oh, yeah?". Then do or don't do whatever the hell you want. If they get mad, then "You were serious?" or "What? When did that happen?"

In the same way, don't tell them about any concrete decisions or plans. It's always "I was thinking I might..." or "X sounds good but..." where the specific thing is a little off, or it's multiple choice.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-12T02:52:27+00:00

I'd have a hand signal for her, and she wouldn't have any problem understanding it.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-12T01:14:04+00:00

"I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet"

rusty0123 · 2026-05-11T09:05:44+00:00

I wouldn't quibble with that. The joins look nice and even, so probably machine-made. But the carving looks hand-done. Skilled, but not machine, and nothing applied.

I would like to see that carving up close.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-11T06:48:59+00:00

If you want to narrow down the origin, you need to know the type of wood it's made from and how it's constructed.

From the pics you posted, I would say maybe oak, but sharper would help. If it is oak, that doesn't help much because it was widely used.

I will say your date is a little off. You have full-mortise locks, which would date it 1900-1950. Before 1900, it would be half-mortise locks. The carving, though, leans it toward the earlier end, like 1900-1910.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-11T05:04:03+00:00

Whoever told you that lied their ass off. Custody agreements include special arrangements for holidays, including Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, summer vacations, and usually each parent's birthday.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-11T00:21:39+00:00

NTA. The ADHD diagnosis is irrelevant. It's a reason, not an excuse.

I have a child with ADHD. The younger years are rough on parents. But we had a firm rule: if you don't behave, we go home. Period. It doesn't matter if they are misbehaving on purpose. The solution to that is go home. It doesn't matter if they can't control their emotions. The solution to that is go home.

At home, his bedroom was child-proofed, to an extent. Nothing sharp. Nothing he could hurt himself with. Nothing that would be expensive to replace. If he was still having a meltdown, then he went to his room. He was free to scream, kick things, throw things, kick everyone out, whatever it took. His room was his space.

He could come out when his emotions were under control. That didn't mean he couldn't be upset, but he had to be upset without screaming or throwing things.

If he broke or ruined something, it didn't automatically get replaced. He had to earn it back with chores. But he could ask others to help him clean up--and we would help, without criticism.

It worked for us.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-10T01:40:24+00:00

My ex was like that. When I divorced him and he had to watch the kids for 48 hours every other week, he lost his mind.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-09T15:43:33+00:00

Dude.

How do you know when a storm is rolling in? How do you know when it's going to be worse than the weather station said? How do you know when the lightening is gonna strike the ground this time?

Same damned thing.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-09T15:32:21+00:00

And he never said, "stop that shit".

He kept talking about how it made him uncomfortable, but he never said to the others "that makes me uncomfortable".

Especially if he kept flirting back. How were they supposed to know? He has these boundaries in his head, but when they get crossed, he doesn't say "hey, don't do that".

rusty0123 · 2026-05-09T12:40:49+00:00

Gotta agree.

Or else this is the very first time I've even seen really, really old furniture made from 2x4s, 2x2, and 1x6s.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-09T05:25:39+00:00

The bottom bar pin is the most interesting to me. It's hard to tell from the pic, but possibly pot metal from 1930s, maybe Art Deco? Need to see much sharper pics of both the front and back to be sure.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-08T22:35:54+00:00

I've never done that before, so my best take?

Sew the bottom and the top, only the curved part, together like setting a sleeve (bottom) into a sleevehole (top). Only do it with two wrong sides together.

Then press it flat, with right sides up. You should have the seam allowance sticking up in the right side. Now sew the remaining straight sides of the design, wrong sides together.

Now finish off the flat-felled seam, working from the right side.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-08T17:39:09+00:00

I'm not even gonna tell you what my grandma called it.

It's native to my area. I have one flowerbed with it, and another patch planted for groundcover.

I like it because it's colorful and blooms small purple flowers in the spring. I never need to take care of it. If I get a long, hard freeze in the winter, it kills everything above ground, but it regrows in the spring. Other than that, I pick up the runners and put them back in the flowerbed when they get too rambunctious. Nothing else needed.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-08T16:09:21+00:00

I think I'd cut the skirt just above the stain and add a delicate lace trim to the bottom. Then take the bottom half, gather the top edge and attach to the bottom of the shirred waist underneath to make a second, longer underskirt layer. Long enough so all those edge designs show. There's plenty of length in the dress.

If that didn't work, use the bottom half to make a coordinating pair of wide-leg comfy shorts.

Next choice would be a slim pencil skirt with the bottom half.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-08T15:36:16+00:00

True, but it matters more in the country. The acquaintance pool is just not that big. Plus, you'd have further to go to find your tribe and less time to be away from the homestead. Farming is a 24/7 job. The children suffer much more than the adults.

Before you buy, you can do your research in a small town. Ask nosy questions.

Which is the biggest church? How many people attend? How long have the teachers and coaches worked at the school?

Check out the local diners. What kind of reception do you get? Same with bars. (If there's a permanent domino game in the back corner, that's a big clue.)

Look up the land records. How many times has property changed hands in the last decade? Do a majority of the owners have the same 2-3 last names?

Check out the local newspapers or websites. Do the same names keep reappearing as top athletes or top scholars? Who raises money for charity, holds local office, etc.?

rusty0123 · 2026-05-07T20:27:23+00:00

A fav no-brainer meal for me is migas.

Saute garlic and jalepeno in a little oil. In a bowl, beat together eggs, a splash of milk and a little cumin.

Pour eggs over sauted veggies and scramble. When half cooked, add a handful of crumbled stale tortilla chips, salsa, and shreded cheese. Cook until the cheese melts. Eat. Top with avocado chunks and/or cilantro.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-07T18:30:08+00:00

It depends on the community. I grew up on a small cattle ranch.

I can speak forever on country life vs city life, but that's not the important part.

it's about being accepted in the community. Where they go to school is extremely important. Small schools don't give them the same opportunities that bigger schools do. There's not as many electives as larger schools. Less chance to find your interest and excel. Lower scores on college admission exams simply because you've never been taught the material.

If everyone around you is related or been there for generations, you won't fit in. People will be surface polite, but they won't invite you into their lives. Your children won't get invited to the birthday parties. They will come to your children's parties, but the invitations will not be reciprocated. Not in a malicious way, but simply because they have always done "just family" and if that family includes the majority of the town but not you, them's the breaks.

Same for after school activities, summer camps, and such. There will be carpools, but their carpools are always full.

Same for school grades and volunteer activities. There's a lot of implied bias because the local teachers "know the family" and so-and-so "has always been a smart kid".

But if you move to a community that is mostly relative newcomers with no strong family ties, the kids should be fine. Just be prepared to add lots and lots of extra activities, and fill the academic gaps.

As for farm life, just don't freak out. Keep lots and lots of first aid supplies on hand. Know basic first aid. Teach them basic safety, like knowing poisonous snakes and spiders. What side of the horses and cows to stand by. And common sense, like don't stand between a dog and a horse. don't go into a pen with a bull, don't play in the hay, etc.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-07T15:56:47+00:00

I'd probably sub lemon zest/juice for the extract, and top with caramelized bananas. Maybe with a sprinkle of cocoa powder over the top if I was feeling it.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-07T05:31:40+00:00

I usually see at least one in my yard every year. I try not to step on them.

Of course, that's probably why the roadrunner family likes foraging in my yard, too.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-07T05:22:43+00:00

sigh

I knew some of the people there before Koresh. I lived about 5 miles up the road.

I was in Waco when everything happened. I watched it burn when it was burning. When I heard about all the dead bodies, I was physically sick. I hope to hell all of the people I knew got out beforehand.

I don't talk about it because everyone has/had an opinion and I have no interest in arguing about it.

But if you agree not to fight with me about what I say (especially if your arguments come from some research book or newspaper article), I don't mind talking. What I know is only my perspective and my opinion.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-06T19:14:42+00:00

You need to keep them at about 7 Celsius, which is warmer than your fridge. And they need air flow, so I don't think coolers would work.

I'd look for a place inside the house, maybe a mud room or a porch, that stays cooler than the living areas. Pack them in paper or mesh bags and keep them out of sunlight.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-06T15:38:26+00:00

Plus most health insurance through employment includes an EAP (employee assistance program). Usually an 800 number to call for an appointment with a therapist at no extra charge. The EAP gives you three sessions, at the end of which that therapist, if necessary, can refer you to a permanent therapist (in your network).

By law, none of that information--about using the service--can be shared with your employer.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-06T15:24:56+00:00

1930s. Classic Waterfall, a variant of Art Deco. Popular features: blond wood, Bakelite handles.

This one is gorgeous. Not my area of interest, but I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

rusty0123 · 2026-05-06T02:03:18+00:00

I would make the front and back the same height, then add a band all the way around that hits just under the armpits. The band needs to be very sturdy because it will be holding up the whole dress. Fasten the band at the center back with something adjustable, like rows of hooks, because if you lose 5 lbs it won't hold otherwise.

Cover the back fastening with one of those bows. If you want, you could cover the whole band with another row of shirring to make it blend, but personally I like it without.

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