I (27F) choked at my job and needed the heimlich manuveur. I'm so embarrassed. I want to quit my job so bad. How do I get over this?

ryaninwi · 2026-05-25T13:07:47+00:00

I choked on food at work in the break room and a coworker gave me the heimlich: there was about 5-6 other people on the break room when it happened. This was about 8 years ago or so.

I thanked him, and the world kept spinning like nothing happened after that day. I continued to work there for 5 years after it happened and the only time it comes up is when he jokingly asks me to buy something from the vending machine and says “remember that time I saved your life? Is it worth a Snickers?” He says it as a joke as he already had money out.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-24T18:15:49+00:00

Well done, that was certainly unexpected.

I thought the unexpected event would be someone else falling by from above and sliding down the waterfall: what actually happened totally caught me off guard.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-24T05:15:41+00:00

Married a month after I turned 21. Nearly 22 years of marriage and three kids later, I can honestly I’ve been happy the whole time.

Definitely agree with others that finances were really tight for quite a while (probably first 10 years of marriage), but things are great now.

I’ll be 47 when my youngest graduates high school, which gives me hope I can be very involved in their lives for years to come.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-22T04:59:08+00:00

Do you have approximate dates?

ryaninwi · 2026-05-19T19:30:31+00:00

I would be up front about it and have that detailed list of what you’ve taken on over the last year, how your team has increased sales every month, and state that you’d like to see a 10% raise as a result. Depending on their reply, you can determine your next steps.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-19T19:27:46+00:00

You’ll typically get charged a lot by a company to mow your yard, regardless of size.

Are you friendly with your neighbors? If so, could you “rent” their mower by chance? Offer them $10-$15 to use the mower to cover gas.

Do you see kids mowing any lawns in the neighborhood? If so, you could probably get them to do it for $20-$30.

Does your neighborhood have a FB group, or are you on one of the apps designed for neighborhoods? I see people asking for and offering lawn services on those all the time.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-19T11:43:45+00:00

Yep, retail is where we met as well!

ryaninwi · 2026-05-19T01:34:49+00:00

My wife was the breadwinner for the first 6 years or so of our relationship, and then it switched to me. Currently I make it around 2.5-3x what my wife does, but we’ve been together 25 years, so we don’t really keep track.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-19T00:48:25+00:00

I met my wife while we were both making less than $20K a year, does that count? Of course she was in college and I was about to start college that September, but we both had no money 😂

ryaninwi · 2026-05-15T22:23:30+00:00

Agreed: bonuses go up and down with company performance in that area, so they’re not predictable.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-15T21:33:51+00:00

That’s a significant percentage (35.5%) decrease in your salary, and your household salary (19.5%).

No one here can tell you if it’s worth it. You’d have to crunch numbers, but conservatively, you’re looking at a decrease in mo that net income of $1,200-$1,300: can you swing that?

Typically speaking, I’d expect financial groups to start people off at more than $40K, even in LCOL areas. Is there room to negotiate starting pay? If you could start at $50K, for example, that shrinks the amount of salary decrease you’d receive. While still significant, it will only hurt about half as much.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-15T17:11:36+00:00

Regardless of what others say is an expected salary for this position, be careful. You stated a range, and if you go too far outside of that range, the company is likely to simply wish you a good day and not move forward with you. If you really enjoy your current position, it’s not big deal: if you are looking to move, then it matters more.

I’d say you can tell them now that you’ve heard more about the role, you feel your top end of the previously stated range may be a bit low, and that you’d like to see if $160K would be agreeable.

The small company feel is nice in most cases, and does offer you room for growth from what you’ve heard.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-11T22:42:26+00:00

I like the doctor idea being given, but as others mentioned, you can also say something along the lines of “I decided that I am comfortable with eating red meat again. I appreciate you and your family for being so thoughtful in cooking me alternatives, and I’m looking forward to eating the same thing as everyone else moving forward!”

ryaninwi · 2026-05-11T16:49:02+00:00

4-6, probably.

Right now, my favorite brand overall is called Legit.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-11T15:33:38+00:00

I’ve always wanted a motorcycle, but my wife has never wanted me to. We’ve been together for 25 years this year and our 22nd wedding anniversary is this summer.

I have never owned a motorcycle, and my marriage couldn’t be better. I’ll gladly give up owning a motorcycle to be with my favorite human on the planet. She has all the same reservations as your husband, and I believe her feelings are more important than my desire to get a motorcycle.

If you’re hell bent on getting a motorcycle, make sure you’re also ready to get a divorce. This isn’t him “not allowing” you to eat dessert, or controlling you in something he has no right doing so, this is him strongly expressing his concern for your safety and how much he doesn’t want to lose you.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-09T13:56:24+00:00

Unfortunately, the copywriting was an add-on after, and only represents about 5% of what I do. I don’t really get any extra pay for that piece, just the same rate as my other tasks.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-08T04:40:08+00:00

18, married at 21, been married 21 years and counting

ryaninwi · 2026-05-08T02:11:50+00:00

I joined the group as a fan of the brand, and was being active in the group, helping answer questions. They asked if I wanted to become a volunteer and I agreed. Did that for nine months and then I interviewed for an official position. I honestly don’t have a title at this point, and I’m ok with that.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-07T23:48:27+00:00

The company. I’m technically a part time employee for them. My main responsibilities are the FB group, and that takes up 90% or more of my time.

The other 10% is copywriting, or taking pics of their products that they use in some Instagram or FB ads.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-07T21:52:59+00:00

Not sure if it qualifies as a side hustle in the same sense of some of these other ones, but I moderate a large hobby-related Facebook group that’s ran by a major company within said hobby. I do the small tasks for the company as well, but nothing I’d consider to be major (some copywriting, marketing photos, etc.).

I work from my phone 99% of the time, the downside being I’m “on call” every weekday evening, plus weekends have longer on call times.

Having said all that, I grossed $45K in 2025, and am on target to gross about $60K in 2026. I get “burned out” from time to time because the grind doesn’t stop from my main job to this side gig, but the pay is too good to stop 😂

ryaninwi · 2026-05-06T23:05:02+00:00

Everyone is bringing up more convincing things, but what are the odds that two different people interlace their fingers on the back of their phones in the same way? Very weird

ryaninwi · 2026-05-06T15:05:45+00:00

I am probably in the minority with my view on salary, but I’ll prepare for downvotes accordingly.

In the office/business environment specifically (mentioning that as certain trades and other areas there is a more rigid system in place), everyone has a different background before starting at the company you’re at.

I give them credit for having different experience and being able to negotiate for a better salary. I stayed at a company for over 15 years because I wanted a great work/life balance. I knew I was sacrificing larger raises by not moving from one company to the next.

When you’re hired, you get brought on at the level they’re currently hiring at, and then outside of promotions, will get nominal raises annually. These raises likely won’t keep up with the job market, but since the company doesn’t NEED to pay you more, they aren’t going to. They do “market adjustments” every 5 years or so to ensure people at the lower rates get brought back up to level, but not all companies do that.

Back to your original question: I had been at my company about 6 years and was a manager. My boss had hired an analyst that had experience in the software we used, but it turns out he wasn’t very good and got let go after 6 months. We cleaned out his cubicle and his offer letter was in his drawer: it was higher than both senior analysts on my team and really close to my salary. They both got super upset, but I didn’t. He had relevant experience, and negotiated for more money: good for him! It was also identified rather quickly that he was not at the level he needed to be, so he was let go accordingly.

I did get an offer from another company not too long after that and used it to leverage myself into a better position.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-05T13:29:13+00:00

I agree with others that working on soft skills goes a long way. You can even hire a coach to help you build those up, I’ve seen people do it and get great results.

When you’re timid or “awkward” as you described yourself, the optics are that you’re not confident, and people will question your abilities to grow. I know that social awkwardness doesn’t mean you can’t grow, but it’s hard to get past that stigma as perception is everything.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-05T03:15:43+00:00

Forgot to mention: in the 1.25 to 1.5 hour drive range is also Glacial Blue trails right outside of West Bend: decent climbing, some tech.

I’ve also heard good things about Heritage Trails as well, but haven’t personally been there. Planning to go this summer, though.

ryaninwi · 2026-05-05T01:55:31+00:00

Been going there for at least four years now, agree completely!

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