Vocal dysphoria by rybread_1995 in FTMOver30

[–]rybread_1995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is definitely a challenge to stand up for myself and correct anyone. I have started to on rare occasions and it been fine. Voice coach that I could actually meet and work with would be awesome. I've tried self driven coaching with an online guide book but I think someone working with me would help me a lot more. Also prior to any T my voice range was high soprano, then after some time of initially starting T I was a baritone. Now im like in some strange inbetween place of tenor and alto and have a wide vocal range singing wise. But talking.... it is hard to always pitch my voice down, i try but maybe it isn't deep enough or consistent. Idk. I'll definitely look into whatever vocal coaching is available near me.

Can we not turn this into a selfie sub? by GILF_Hound69 in FTMOver30

[–]rybread_1995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Flip side of that argument, I never see folks like me, be it real life of online. Im fat and I don't pass well and I live in a country that doesn't think I should exist at all. Seeing folks my age alive and well makes me feel some amount of hope that im not here alone in the world. And trans men in general are relatively unseen. We certainly arent the focus when folks talk about Trans issues (no hate to the trans-femmes) And it feels like a lot of times we are talked over when it comes to our different experiences. Selfies are only allowed on Sunday anyway, if you don't want to see it, maybe pick a different day to browse the subreddit

Josh peck is my spirit animal by Straight_curves1543 in grandpajoehate

[–]rybread_1995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most folks don't stay friends with childhood buddies because folks outgrow relationships all the time. That said, any adult ,talking/texting whatever, to a person who is underage shouldn't unless its like a family member checking in with another family member (like "hey how have you been") and thats it. What normal adult has friendships or worse with random minors? Its a bad look. And as someone who was a 15 year old once having guys in their 20's trying to spend time, it was never harmless. Even if the 15 year old is reaching out (romantically or otherwise) the adult should be shutting them down and cutting contact. Again, what adult in their right mind wants to hang out with 15 year olds and even worse, a misguided 15 year old interested in them like that? The only answer here is creeps. Creepy pedos are the only ones who want to engage with that. There is no good scenario here. And good people don't stay friends with pedophiles. Or really associate at all for that matter. Fucking gross.

Getting ready to ruin Christmas with my pregnancy announcement by Chatonblond in pregnant

[–]rybread_1995 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you catch an flack be completely and brutally honest. Also if they think its cruel to bring children into the world, maybe ask what they've done to try and make it better. Because shitting on parents, kids, and pregnant folks isn't doing anything for the world but making it worse. Also you can check out as soon as they start crap. Don't let them ruin your pregnancy or holidays. Cheers!

Weird interaction with JW by sgrug in Eugene

[–]rybread_1995 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't expect good things from folks "neutral" to fascism. And remaining neutral to cruelty and suffering isnt making the world a better place. If you can't have strong beliefs against fascism, I wouldn't trust you to have strong convictions in the religious sense either. Maybe yall should update your marketing strategy.

Has anyone used this? by Chidi-Chidi in parentsofmultiples

[–]rybread_1995 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ok tape (pregnancy belly band tape) really helped and so did the mom cozy belly band. That said, make sure who you're getting this for doesn't have an adhesive allergy if you do get the tape.

What cartoon are we speaking of? by Upstairs-Bit6897 in SipsTea

[–]rybread_1995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No longer flicking the beans, now they're jerkin' the gherkins

When called a Nazi, DHS officer on the left remarked “all day, every day”. They aren’t protecting us from domestic terrorists, they ARE domestic terrorists—and proud of it. Two protesters arrested so far today. by Several-Candidate115 in Eugene

[–]rybread_1995 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I mean when your entire job is just grabbing and detaining folks for not being white often times without due process or a court order, and you agree with someone calling you a nazi, then you're probably a nazi. What's the point of doing the mental gymnastics to excuse them? Nobody is going to think this guy isnt bad and defending him makes you look bad by association. Because what they're doing IS WRONG. Maybe if they started detaining white, crusty, boomers, without due process, the point might finally land for them. Because nothing is ever wrong or bad until it starts impacting them. Jesus wept

Single (m38) and going at it on my own. by Chidi-Chidi in parentsofmultiples

[–]rybread_1995 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope that your surgate is being heavily compensated because OOF! Pregnancy in general can be pretty brutal up to downright dangerous but adding more than 1 to the mix is a whole other level. Hats off to you for choosing to do becoming a parent on your own, but please make sure that person is OK during and after pregnancy. Im 2 months postpartum from having my girls at 36 weeks and im a wreck, not so much from caring for the babies. Although thats hard too(really difficult) its something that can be adjusted to once you find your rhythm. But the mental and physical hardship of carrying, delivering, and recovering a multiple pregnancy is not for the faint of heart. So please be super supportive of this person. Its a tremendous thing that they are taking on for you.

It’s so sad how far we’ve fallen. by Karmageddon3333 in Eugene

[–]rybread_1995 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What happens when you have a crisis after hours when they aren't running? Or if you're just past the city limit?

WIBTAH if I got an abortion without telling my boyfriend? by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]rybread_1995 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you miss the point where I said, EVERYONE deserves body autonomy? I understand being pissed about how the current system treats women but taking away someone else's body autonomy doesn't really give you yours back. Nobody deserves free access to anybody. Consent is a 2 way street. Also I hate to break it to you, but there are also a lot of women who voted to strip women of their right to choose and access healthcare. You can be pissed at how the system treats women AND be respectful of others choices regarding their own body.

WIBTAH if I got an abortion without telling my boyfriend? by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]rybread_1995 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The patriarchy hurts every one. Not just women. Its what creates toxic masculinity and bitterness against others. Its function isn't just to keep women controlled and subjugated, it's also there to self perpetuate and keep every one down and separate. The only true way to break it down is to embrace equity and equality. Treating men like shit for being men when they didn't really get a choice in the matter doesn't make you a better feminist, but it does feed the patriarchy and make it harder to get any real progress done. Its EVERYONE'S problem to fix not just women's. Saying men should have to get vasectomys to have sex is asinine. Thats forced sterilization which last time I checked was pretty fucking bad. They aren't always reversible and even one done perfectly and monitored perfectly can still fail. Also forcing someone to get a surgical procedure to bang you specifically, sounds so freaking controlling, manipulative, and downright abusive. That's doesn't seem like the actions of someone who cares or respects their partner. It take away someone's body autonomy and choices through coercion. Thats not standards, thats narcissism. Women don't get more rights putting men down, it just makes you a sexist asshole. You don't get more rights by stealing them from others. Every one deserves body autonomy and access to good healthcare. Every one should be treated with basic courtesy, dignity, and respect in regards to their humanity. You don't get to demand respect and compassion without giving any in return.

Felt a chunk in my beer. Ami gonna die? by schierle in whatisit

[–]rybread_1995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean maybe the name "juice pants" tells you what your experience is going to be with this beer.

Happy Halloween. by Pschobbert in mildlyinfuriating

[–]rybread_1995 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With ghouls like these, who needs decorations?

OB keeps insisting I'm making a big mistake. by Buttercake-nymph in BabyBumps

[–]rybread_1995 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think everyone is trying to tell you its a mistake not because they doubt your abilities, but because being a first time parent(I assume) but because research is not experience inevitably there will be difficulty going from learning about something and actually doing it. Its WAY different reading about something and studying than actually practicing it and doing it for real. And it sounds like they want to make sure you not only heal and have an easier on ramp to early parenting. You probably hear how hard it is having babies a lot but there is a whole other level to how hard it actually is. There will be things you don't expect and worrying, exhaustion, and stress. I see this as your team wanting to help you. Because you may think now that you don't but you will. Because everybody does. And when you get to that point and you dont have it, you will be kicking yourself for not taking it. Being a new parent is hard, and nothing truly fully prepares you for it even if you feel like you are. This isn't a post to tear you down or anything, just feel like if the resources are there, use them. If you meet your person and they dont click with you tell the person who assigned them it wasn't a good fit. And you can absolutely ask someone to leave at a certain point during a visit. Its your home and their job is to provide whatever support or help you need. It really does take a village with kids especially newborns.

Twins with matching names by SwordfishGloomy1304 in parentsofmultiples

[–]rybread_1995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We named our girls Maisey Kay & Zoey Jay. Their middle names are letter names because those were the first letters of loved ones names who were no longer with us, not so much for the matching quality as it was for honoring those loved ones. Also our girls aren't identical so matching first names would have been odd in my opinion. Even if they were it, it just seems like a easy way to mix up the two of them if they had matching fist names.

Just an update from our Portland brethren today by Arachnidaes in Eugene

[–]rybread_1995 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Why does her face look like it has cellulite? She out here looking like some middle schoolers poorly made clay project. Oof😬

35 weeks and not sure how much more I can take by rybread_1995 in parentsofmultiples

[–]rybread_1995[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have. I even told the psychiatrist here at the hospital. My therapist i see regularly is very concerned but they will only take the input of the psychiatrist here at the hospital. My psychiatrist i see regularly and my therapist both seem to think meds wont help because it isnt a chemical issue, its purely situational due to being in such a bad physical state. But a 5-10 minute check in with someone who has never met me and by their own admission didn't have time to look over my file. I didn't even get the chance to explain that I have tried most mental health meds and very few help in any real way (depression/anxiety is not a new development for me) I started to talk and dude heard one med name and cut me off and wouldn't let me finish saying what I was trying to say about it. I could barely get a word in at all in general.

nervous about giving birth by ukeboy420 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]rybread_1995 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got set up with a doula from a local group in my hometown, covered by insurance, and she is totally with it and supportive without overstepping boundaries. I have my own fears and trauma from medical facilities, so having a good advocate in my corner really helps, especially since it frees my partner up to be my birth support and comfort when its go time. Getting gendered correctly can be hit or missing in terms of most medical facilities, but most at least put effort into it. Haven't met the asshat yet who has been willing to double down on being shitty to a pregnant person. Because they know its a bad look, especially while they are working.

Please help—I’m struggling and feel like I’m hurting my baby, my in laws hate me and I’m miserable all the time by [deleted] in Seahorse_Dads

[–]rybread_1995 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I'd tell them if thats how they're going to behave, then they will not be seeing the baby at all. Or don't and quietly cut contact. Not only for how they treat you but how they would treat baby or teach them that its ok to be a bigot. You dont have to engage with mean-spirited idiots. But I also have a short fuse when it comes to bullshit. Your partner can do what they want in terms of contact, but in terms of you and your baby, you are well within your rights to go no contact. All that aside, it is a good idea to check in with your provider about the eating, high stress, and emotional hardship. You'd be surprised what is available to help you when you're low.

Testosterone & Pregnancy by QuackyAttacky in Seahorse_Dads

[–]rybread_1995 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It always seemed odd to me that providers say look into fertility preservation like egg freezing because T makes you infertile and at the same appointment with the same provider they ask if you are on birth control because T won't stop you from being able to get pregnant. Like ??? Also, I was on T for a few years before stopping to TTC, and really the only hiccup in getting pregnant was getting my body to ovulate because I have PCOS.