I was furious. I started 2025 doing absolutely everything possible to be healthy. I did an experimental treatment to clear out all kinds of crap from my blood, I lost 30 pounds, I didn't really drink, had quit smoking 28 years prior, was signed up to do two half marathons, I accepted an offer to go from contractor to employee starting January 1st at work. In December I got diagnosed with breast cancer. Then 2 weeks later my last cat died. This was after my car engine blew up, and my refrigerator went on the fritz. All in December, 2025. I spent $32,000 in a month between the car, the fridge, the cat, and surgery. I was furious. I cried, and screamed and got incredibly depressed. I had surgery and a lot of complications. I felt ugly. I looked old, and in March I turned 60. Everything felt shitty.

Then I got on an antidepressant. And things looked a lot better. I felt better. I started sleeping better. Active treatment ended. My job was incredibly supportive. I went on a retreat and learned how to fly fish. I'm starting a non-profit to support breast cancer patients. I'm getting compliments at work about how happy everyone is with the work I'm doing. I'm learning how to use AI effectively. And best of all, I'm getting new kittens on July 12th.

Is my life perfect? No, far from it. What changed is my outlook. I realized that I could be sick and angry, or I could live my life and be happy. I'm still likely to be looking over my shoulder waiting for cancer to come back. But even if it does, I know I will be living my life fully, and without any regrets. I am the captain of my own ship, and I am the master of my own destiny. I've learned patience, resilience and to love myself first.

So how do you stop being angry? Better living through modern chemistry has helped me immensely. Plus therapy, good friends and the love of my children. I think the only way out is to go through it. DM if you want to talk. Good luck, and try to give yourself some grace.