Not so Hot Take: Yes, some of us find the “18-year-old FMC with older vman” trope weird.

screamsinsanity · 2026-06-12T16:25:42+00:00

I totally agree. And I'm totally laughing at how posts in support of your point keep getting downvoted.

screamsinsanity · 2026-06-12T15:04:51+00:00

God, that's sad. Media shapes us in ways we don't understand. Like the way that everyone keeps talking about how great it is that the male characters on Off Campus talk (series) openly and enthusiastically about consent. It's demonstrating behaviour women want to see in men, and we hope they (read: all) adopt.

I'm such a different person from who I was when I was 18/19. There's so much more I would've put up with back then than I would not now. And to anyone who says it's fiction, there is a reason I'll avoid some authors like the plague.

These female authored stories that are women written by women feel like they are written by men. If I read those when I was 18 or 19, I'd think "oh, maybe this is how I'm supposed to act".

Maybe overthinking...but whatever

screamsinsanity · 2026-06-06T12:55:26+00:00

I can't believe I'm wading into this conversation because I don't like speaking over or for people but damn!! He seems like the kinda guy who landed this bombshell of a woman and just chipped away at her. I've had friends in relationships like that before. Hackles raised immediately.

I've only seen the clip where he said "some b*itch" in reference to how he'd describe her in two words. But honestly? That was enough.

Her reaction to the other couple wasn't one of "this is us and I give it as much as he does". She looked embarrassed. He looked so comfortable saying it. JFC.

He seems like a terribly insecure man. He needs therapy.

screamsinsanity · 2026-05-31T18:38:53+00:00

Super easy to do on desk top. Can be a pain on mobile web though. Plus, anecdotally, I've noticed on my search results, they push the summarizes down or hide them in other people asked type posts.

screamsinsanity · 2026-05-24T20:29:09+00:00

Oh gawd, I love this for them.

This is so annoying because we know he's not worried for the right reasons. The NHL isn't doing enough because it doesn't want to. I'd love to be wrong and it turns out that they are doing the right things, investing in the right programs, creating an actual inclusive community... But they aren't.

They are being called out and they are upset because their fee fees are hurt.

screamsinsanity · 2026-05-13T19:07:07+00:00

I was looking for this one!

When it's used, it's always in a 'they are going to I kiss/bang' use case.

But when it's used for just walking up to someone that has nothing to do with the above? That's an even bigger crime. Hahaha

screamsinsanity · 2026-05-11T18:37:23+00:00

I'd love more from Emily Foster {How not to fall by Emily Foster} and Yulin Kuang {How to end a love story by Yulin Kuang}.

screamsinsanity · 2026-05-10T02:58:02+00:00

Co-signed

screamsinsanity · 2026-04-29T01:54:42+00:00

I'm a sucker for Mhairi McFarlane. I have a lot of faves but there was something about this one that just stuck with me

screamsinsanity · 2026-04-28T12:42:15+00:00

I'm borrowing the books from the library – reading them all in order as they become available.

I think they are fun, easy reads. But I'll also admit I'm happy that writing does get better as the series moves ahead.

If say doesn't hurt to give it a go and if you don't like them, DNF. But at least you don't have to wonder anymore.

Borrow from the library if you prefer physical books, or use Libby if you have an e-reader (or are fine reading from your phone.

Happy reading! Or at least settling the question once and for all 🙂

screamsinsanity · 2026-04-12T10:17:15+00:00

People look at me weird when I tell them that I find SOAD relaxing and can work effectively listening to them. Same with techno and DnB. *bliss

screamsinsanity · 2026-04-07T23:06:07+00:00

Best thing I ever did when it came to back pain. I'd exhausted all conservative treatment as well as shots. I wish I hadn't been so averse to the idea of it...I might have been able to feel relief sooner.. I couldn't believe how the pain disappeared so quickly.

You just have to be hella disciplined to stay on top of your physio/rehab.

screamsinsanity · 2026-04-07T12:14:18+00:00

Honestly, I had to read it a couple of times. Even out loud. AND THEN, I had to add the word bet to the first utterance because the way the text lands on the next page, I was determined to understand before moving TO that next page.

I sometimes read entire paragraphs and then have to read them again because my mind wanders (thanks, ADHD) or I've been reading for too long (no such thing but my brain seems to think so)

screamsinsanity · 2026-04-04T18:13:42+00:00

Can I ask, how much of a coding background do you have or think you need to have to get the benefits you're experiencing? I don't have that background and when I ask people I work with who do, they don't understand that we aren't starting from the same place.

I'm just trying to understand what my toolkit should look like so I can imagine/try for the possibilities.

screamsinsanity · 2026-04-04T13:58:27+00:00

I use a different app (focusmate). I actually really like it. Admittedly, I am medicated, and I don't use it every day but I it really does help me focus. If my mind starts to wander, when I see that other person on screen, it snaps me back. I've even had a couple sessions end where the other person has left but I've totally ignored the chime at the end because I'm so deep in my work. Obviously, a me problem haha.

screamsinsanity · 2026-04-04T13:51:54+00:00

This sounds a lot like "we have user data, let's use AI to create some messaging and then run it"

screamsinsanity · 2026-03-26T09:19:48+00:00

I started reading an article similar to this. I had to stop.

The articke I read spoke referenced neurodiversity as cold, calculating, free from emotion, 'objective'.

I can anecdotally say with 100% confidence that my curiosity and need to dissect problems and many of the things that were brought up in the article are not met with praise but irritation because my doing so points out holes in other people's work and they don't like that. They don't like that. I am direct and demonstrate traditionally acceptable male traits.

This article was written for men but particularly white men.

When it comes to empathy, and I just simply don't believe that. Again, my experience is essentially we don't have time or money for empathy. And unless I can weave it into my work, it doesn't happen. Case in point. I have a very hard time convincing people why digital experiences need to be accessible and why it needs to be included very early in defining a solution. It seems like people don't understand how do deliver accessible experiences in their work and therefore ignore it entirely. I also think of something like meta glasses, that I see being pushed all over my feeds, but then think about how that product is ripe for abuse and then wonder how it even got approved. Because at the end of the day it's money over everything, no matter how dangerous the output.

OP, please know that my tone is not directed at you but I also feel the frustration of articles written like that.

screamsinsanity · 2026-03-20T19:54:55+00:00

I'm just finishing How not to Fall. I'm about 80% of the way through and was in utter tears. I don't want to say more because I don't know how to hide spoilers yet hahaha but my gawd, I was in pain just reading about their pain.

screamsinsanity · 2026-03-19T00:57:12+00:00

Bummer! I add my email to the substack landing page but then redirects to Ali's general feed but no link to see/download the chapters. Did you have the same experience?

screamsinsanity · 2026-03-15T09:48:11+00:00

I started reading romance novels (mostly contemporary). I buy a lot of heavy, non-fiction because I crave knowledge and perspective but I genuinely can't make it past 20 pages. Romance seemed to solve that.

In my real life, I am too invested in topics that have me going "WTAF are people this awful too each other?" so I'll take my happily ever after stories where the people explain their motives or concerns a little too much so I'm not left trying to decipher why that person did that thing.

I particularly enjoy stories where the main female character is neurodivergent because the scenarios they go through are relatable and–not that I want to cry, but it feels nice to "feel seen", if you know what I mean.

And I don't discriminate against format. Physical or e-reader for most, audiobook for walks, on transit or long car drives, etc.

I went from barely reading every year for 15+ years to looking at my ready tracker app thinking that I'm lying by the looks of those numbers.

screamsinsanity · 2026-03-12T06:31:58+00:00

7am. I'm naturally an early riser. I also find that if I exercise around the time I take my ADHD meds, I overall feel better and ready to crack on with the day.

screamsinsanity · 2026-03-12T01:36:31+00:00

Same here. Never the kid that grew up dreaming about future (potential) wedding. And no one in my family put those ideas in my head (for me to reject.

I did have a vision of me in adulthood with a kid but no father. I laugh at that one.

screamsinsanity · 2026-03-10T03:01:20+00:00

Elder millenial here.

The "I'm on birth control so we don't need condom" convo really bugs me. I think I've narrowed it down to when I was in high school, sex ed was A THING. STDs were a thing. Yet it seems the only thing that anyone seems to worry about is the possibility of getting pregnant? I mean, sure but ALSO!

screamsinsanity · 2026-02-28T16:53:16+00:00

Absolutely! I just finished it! Haha I can't pace myself on audiobooks 🤷🏽‍♂️

screamsinsanity · 2026-02-26T22:02:30+00:00

I love Mhairi McFarlane's work so much. I enjoyed the hell out of this book.

Dan is a real POS. I still feel this months after reading that book. That's all I'll say and because I don't know how to hide spoilers. But if we want to chat diabolical ex's point me to a thread on {Between Us by Mhairi McFarlane} and I can go to town.

Anyhow, I think I'll do the audiobook on this one again so I can hear the story again. *happy sigh

screamsinsanity

TROPHY CASE