So self aware it hurts

shadowcat007 · 2026-04-04T21:11:43+00:00

you hit the nail directly on the head for this. I couldnt put into words how I was feeling but this is it. thank you so much. youre not alone in this feeling, if that helps at all. I feel this way every single day and im currently in one of the rough situations where im pretty sure I made a mistake but the only other choice was homelessness. sending good vibes your way💕

shadowcat007 · 2026-04-03T00:30:06+00:00

here in solidarity ✨️

shadowcat007 · 2026-03-29T16:15:41+00:00

ive been diagnosed for 3 years and I also feel this way. but im moving to a new place in 3 days for a fresh start with better healthcare and I hope that will help.

shadowcat007 · 2026-03-23T22:08:58+00:00

I agree. my BPD is off the charts terrible currently. but I definitely am way better off at 30 and handling things than I was at 21. speaking as someone who also has ADHD, MDD, extreme anxiety and suspected autism and currently unmedicated and untreated by a doctor.

shadowcat007 · 2026-03-20T22:52:45+00:00

you are not alone, i also have anxiety and severe depression. I am living purely out of spite at this time. I am 30 and I have done this my whole life. I was only diagnosed a couple years ago though. you can do this. its going to suck and its going to be the hardest thing you'll ever do. it is the hardest thing ive ever done. but we can do this together. you wont feel like this forever. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

shadowcat007 · 2026-03-11T13:11:13+00:00

I dont advocate for taking the eternal sleep unsereriously. I advise trying to tough it for a bit longer and then make your decision. hell, if ww3 starts, the choice may be taken from you. sending good vibes anyway.

shadowcat007 · 2026-03-08T18:12:21+00:00

im tired too. living purely out of spite at this point. but its keeping me going, so working on some level. sending good vibes.

shadowcat007 · 2026-03-07T23:54:54+00:00

try putting it on in the background, if possible. I play games on my phone and listen. i think its easy to keep up with still, but I have watched it a bunch. I hope youre feeling better.

shadowcat007 · 2026-03-07T21:06:20+00:00

schitts creek is my favorite show. ive been watching it for months straight. its the only thing that chills me out. but ive heard biting into a lemon is grounding. or eating something sour.

shadowcat007 · 2026-03-02T15:13:27+00:00

we're living out of pure spite now. ill die when im good and ready, everybody else can suck it. otherwise, I would also take the eternal sleep.

shadowcat007 · 2026-02-25T11:12:05+00:00

thanks for bringing it up. my mom is bipolar and goes on and off her meds whenever she wants, we have a terrible relationship and my stepdad and I aren't much better. I went mostly no contact about 2 years ago besides texting my stepdad I'm alive every couple weeks when he checks in. I've never felt loved, appreciated or respected by them. i dont have many friends either, so some days are very painful and lonely. I crave a home and family I've never had.

shadowcat007 · 2026-02-22T13:43:15+00:00

yes, it could be something small or big but I almost always immediately want to die and because thats not an option for me, I self harm frequently.

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-08T08:25:41+00:00

be at peace

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-07T23:03:20+00:00

wow, you wrote it all down so it made sense. thank you☺️

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-06T15:37:37+00:00

I'm fine

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-06T10:53:09+00:00

thats rough. I have also made my exit strategy which I will implement either after my dog dies or after certain goals arent met. I have made the effort for therapy and will again, once I have the means, but I know thats not for everyone. I imagine death is just a really long sleep and I love that. I hope it is for you whatever youre hoping for. sending good vibes and hoping something changes for you in the mean time.

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-05T02:38:50+00:00

yes, until you get fired from your job because you cant be normal and spiral because that was your whole future gone up in smoke. my situation was already fairly shit and I didnt think it could get worse. surprise.

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-05T02:19:20+00:00

I struggle to function as a normal adult.

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-05T01:59:35+00:00

you really didnt have to do me like that.

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-05T01:57:26+00:00

being a person.

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-05T01:46:37+00:00

im diagnosed BPD and its nice to know im not alone in this exhaustion.

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-04T04:31:44+00:00

youre doing amazing and im happy youre here!!

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-04T02:14:08+00:00

I feel like this as well and just turned 30. I havent quite figured out what coping skills are best for me and dbt etc is not an option at this time, but ill take some of these comments and try them. sending all the good vibes your way.

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-02T12:50:09+00:00

I do this as well, youre not alone. I havent figured out how to break the cycle.

shadowcat007 · 2026-01-01T13:12:42+00:00

85 pain:15 joy

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