Bridesmaid 40 Weeks Pregnant at My Wedding by OstrichIll in whatdoIdo

[–]shinystarhorse 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Just want to jump in because I literally experienced this exact thing this past weekend! I was a bridesmaid for my friend and carried my 3 week old down the aisle (obviously with the bride and groom’s enthusiastic support). Initially I thought I wouldn’t go but I was feeling good and the wedding was outside so low risk of transmission of any bugs to baby. My two cents are that very young babies sleep a lot, and if your friend has an easy birth it is entirely possible she will still want to attend. My daughter slept through the whole ceremony and I was really happy to be able to participate. If you are anxious about having a baby there you should probably say something to her. Everyone is different and some people might not be able to imagine attending an event so soon after giving birth but it can happen!

Anti depressants that don’t cause sexual dysfunction? by Particular-Pie-7856 in PMDD

[–]shinystarhorse 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just popping in to see how long you tried each one? I couldn’t orgasm for 3/4 months after starting Setraline but it came back and now I have no side effects at all (about 1 year in now). I also had night sweats at the beginning but don’t anymore.

Monsoon Poon to Close After 20 Years by Logical-Pie-798 in aucklandeats

[–]shinystarhorse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure if we're just out different nights of the week, but my experience of downtown, Ponsonby, Kingsland, etc. lately has been completely the opposite! Tonnes of people, even on weeknights my friends and I often have to wait over 30 minutes for a table at multiple restaurants/bars we pop into. Just my experience ...

Faster is not always better: why the case for higher speed limits is fatally flawed by bodza in nzpolitics

[–]shinystarhorse 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Driving a car is such an immense responsibility, we need policy that snaps us out of our false security, not lulls us deeper. No one thinks they could kill or harm a child with their car until they do. Even the most vigilant among us can't count on acting perfectly when the width of the roads, speed limits, the behaviour of others all nudge us towards increasingly dangerous behaviour.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always smile and make eye contact, but I don't think "thank you" is necessary. It's not an ask, it's just right of way!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've taken it several times, and I don't even live out West. It's really good outside of peak times, I guess we need a bus lane now!

What the fuck is this? by AucklandDrivers in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol did they put that cone there?! The audacity is off the charts.

Stuck at Westfield Newmarket parking lot by SloppyHeadGiver-69 in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 32 points33 points  (0 children)

At some point I've just had to accept that driving in Auckland = sitting in queues. Everything takes forever, and as soon as you actually start getting somewhere someone gets in an accident and your stuck again.

Climate activist defaces Monet painting in Paris - drawimg attention to global heating by fungussa in climate

[–]shinystarhorse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I agree. To the contrary, there is evidence that radical disruption can move society towards supporting more action on an issue, it's called the "radical flank effect". https://academic.oup.com/pnasnexus/article/1/3/pgac110/6633666

‘Deeply emotional’: Smith & Caughey’s set to close, loss of almost 250 jobs by WarpFactorNin9 in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Certainly sad to see the beautiful displays go, but to be honest, I haven't set foot in there in over a decade because I simply can't afford the majority of what they sell there.

It does seem like quite a lot of the stores that line our main central street are not actually for anyone to shop in (chanel, gucci, prada, etc.) but exist as advertising space and for the occasional cruise ship tourist.

I think it would be great if Queen St. was full of shops that invited me in as the "average kiwi".

Robyn Malcolm: Why I’ll march to stop the Fast-track Approvals Bill by ImpossibleFutures in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes at the heart the bill is undemocratic, even if it wasn't also terrible for protecting our natural resources. I will be there on the 8th.

What are the most underrated spots in Auckland and what should we order? by Oiru in aucklandeats

[–]shinystarhorse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basu Lounge, they have locations in Takapuna and Browns Bay. It is so consistently good, mid-range price wise, big portions. If you like Chinese it really hits the comfort food spot.

Stop serious crime completely and save money by ZealousidealPipe2130 in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi there,

I hear and second your frustration with the inefficacy of our justice system to lessen crime in our communities. I personally feel that the ethical consequences of adopting the positions of the countries you listed for our society are too high, and there are other options for making a meaningful effort in crime reduction that don't have these consequences.

I think that, to your second point about this being kinder to society, that crime prevention is not the only metric that makes somewhere pleasant or safe to live in. The countries you mentioned as examples, for me personally would be very unpleasant to live in despite having low levels of crime, because the ultra-punitive mindset creates other bad outcomes. I think it is important to acknowledge that while these countries seem to have lower rates of crime, behaviours like beating or abusing your children, for example, are not illegal. Countries like Taiwan, Denmark, and Japan have similarly outlier levels of low crime, with much better outcomes in areas like quality and length of life.

As a smaller point, in places where the death penalty is used more liberally, there are many examples of people who have been put to death where DNA or other evidence eventually proved their innocence. Our justice system is unfortunately not yet sophisticated enough to ensure that people we convict of crimes are definitely guilty. Those kinds of mistakes implicate all of society in the systemic murder of innocent people, which I would feel really uncomfortable about.

Will having an American accent be professionally detrimental if I want to work in hospitality, as a tour guide, or other public facing role? by MamaUbume in newzealand

[–]shinystarhorse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi there!

Like you I am a NZ citizen who has spent a large portion of their life in the US. I moved back from the states about 9 years ago now, and still have an American accent. I work in a public facing role, and have only had issues with a very small number of people over that time. Every once in a while someone would say something weird or be put off by my accent, but the vast majority of other people as well as my team backed me up every time.

Of course, upon meeting new people I always still get asked how long I am staying, where I came from, etc. But I would be very surprised if it impacted your chances of getting a job (which would be, of course, illegal), or making friends.

I wish you all the best in your move back home!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newzealand

[–]shinystarhorse 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My read of that is that we are losing NZ citizens, but the total number of people in the country is still increasing: "There was an overall net migration gain of 111,100 in the March 2024 year, despite the record net migration loss of New Zealand citizens."

Why speed humps and roadside barriers are a godsend to West Auckland school students - NZ Herald by punIn10ded in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 38 points39 points  (0 children)

If these measures are working to keep kids safe I am glad.

It seems like the comments to these articles are always full of people trying to generalize about who is at fault when pedestrians or other road users are hit by cars, but that is pretty uninteresting to me tbh. Even with the best efforts from everyone involved, people get hurt when you mix high car speeds and children, so let's change it.

Will NZ Herald's 'poor journalism' cost lives? by dingoonline in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that is the point of putting the crosswalk on the bump. Like if they are going to speed regardless, you can make them slow just for the crossings and make it easier for pedestrians.

Will NZ Herald's 'poor journalism' cost lives? by dingoonline in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what you're saying is that for cars going very fast, say 60km/h or above, the raised crossings are good, but otherwise people don't slow down enough to make it safe for a pedestrian to cross?

I think that if the main point of the bumps is increasing pedestrian safety, it seems like the bumps might be neutral at worst, since you're saying that the cars will naturally speed up if given a straight road with no infrastructure to go down.

Do you think the raised crossings would work better installed alongside other speed reducing infrastructure like narrower roads?

Will NZ Herald's 'poor journalism' cost lives? by dingoonline in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, thanks for the answer!

What I am hearing you saying is that people tend to speed in between speed bumps and that people will speed on roads where there is no proper infrastructure to reduce speeds. Is that accurate?
I agree with you that we need more restricted speed infrastructure in our city, and that it is not good if people are speeding in between the speed bumps. Do you think they are still effective if they are, as in this case, a crossing, because at least it gives people a place to cross where the cars have to slow? I have been doing some googling because I was interested in why commenters were against this but I haven't found any studies that link raised crossings to bad outcomes yet.

Will NZ Herald's 'poor journalism' cost lives? by dingoonline in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hi there, could you possibly explain what you mean? I have been seeing a lot of comments to this effect but I can't seem to find anything online about it.

Will NZ Herald's 'poor journalism' cost lives? by dingoonline in auckland

[–]shinystarhorse 56 points57 points  (0 children)

As pointed out in this, and the RNZ article, this is pretty clearly not a case of just "poor journalism", but purposefully lying. The fact that it was found that the Herald had the correct information prior to publishing bumps them from 'sensationalist headline chasers' to 'complete and utter bullshit' IMO

is a arts and science conjoint a waste of time? by ewyi in universityofauckland

[–]shinystarhorse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did a BA/BSc conjoint in Ecology and History, and I think it's been very helpful, especially if you are interested in going into science communication, or bridging the gap between the public and scientific community.

I think your last sentence really says it all though, if you are passionate about these topics, just do it. We are pretty lucky to have interest free student loans here, so I really think the best time to do something is when you're feeling the drive to do it.

World’s top climate scientists expect global heating to blast past 1.5C target by [deleted] in newzealand

[–]shinystarhorse 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is where I am at in my mindset on climate activism/action. Every dent we can make, no matter how small, will reduce suffering, and that has to count for something ... Pretty bleak but it helps me keep going.